6:02 – Shila’s voice is raspy today. She was always told she had a voice like a prostitute. A good time was had at the Neighborhood Hotties: Montgomery County last night. Apparently chicks making out is now a talent that, which was discovered at last night’s event. Things almost started off an awkward foot when a 54 year-old Jewish woman approached Danny and Amy about being the girl in their threesome. Danny was grateful for drinking light beer all night, there were no blackouts and no mistakes made with strange women. Danny’s had many blackout stories; Shila’s only had a few. She woke up in a guy’s apartment with her clothes night after a long night of drinking, dancing on tables, wasn’t sure if she had sex, then was propositioned for sex on her walk home from Center City to Villanova. Taking a drunk girl back into her clothes after sex would not be easy, so if it happened she’d probably have some memory of that.
6:33 – Danny wants to know if it’s a crime to take a shower in the hot rain to save the earth during a hot rainstorm. Bob Kelly thinks it’s somewhere in between. Shila wants him to do it. If he decides to do it look for a ‘showering’ Danny this afternoon.
Ken Parrish's fellow Stroud Area Regional Police officers agreed, and eventually, so did his parents: Ken had the right to remain hopeful, to pursue his dream of playing in the NFL. Leaving that Monroe County, Pa., police force - where his father was a captain - just as Ken's career was getting started could not be used against him in the court of peer or family opinion. The Eagles signed him and brought him to the camp for rookies and select veterans where he yesterday replaced rookie free-agent punter and kicker Sam Swank.
6:52 – Yesterday Danny was fed up with people blaming African-Americans for being blamed for crimes they didn’t commit. The NAACP agrees with Danny. Now he’s going to start blaming white people for crimes. Danny will join Dr. Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks and Bobby Kennedy in bridging the racial divide. Blame the Finnish now. As it turns out Bonnie Sweeten’s husband is a key winner for 94WYSP’s Harley Days of May. Interesting. If he wins the Harley he can use it to get far away from her.
7:06 – News with Shila:
Bonnie Sweeten's distressing 911 call saying she had been carjacked and thrown in a trunk by two black men turned out to be a hoax. But Sweeten's story has angered many in the African-American community. The president of the Philadelphia and Pennsylvania NAACP, said his office has been taking phone calls from community members saying Sweeten's story may have a negative effect on the African-American community. "We've received a number of phone calls, both here at my newspaper and at the (NAACP) office, from people who are angry, people of color who are angry that black men are being blamed again." If Amy committed a crime Danny would leave her there so he could have a weekend without a fiancée.
The man charged with first degree murder in the killing of an employee at the Taj Mahal Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey, sent a letter to 6abc prior to the killing. In the letter Mark Magee of Norristown, Pa., repeatedly accuses the Atlantic City casinos of cheating, and suggests they are rigged to favor the gambling halls. He says the casinos have been cheating for the past 20 years. Nowhere in the letter, dated May 25th, does Magee reference Ray Kot, who he allegedly shot and killed. There are no threats in the letter. Magee does apologize for the way the letter is written, saying he is writing it under a "degree of stress." Magee apparently knew the victim, Raymond Kot, from previous trips to the Atlantic City casino. Mark Juliano, CEO of Trump Entertainment Resorts, told The Associated Press that Mark Magee was carrying a suicide note and had intended to shoot himself or jump from the parking garage Wednesday afternoon but surrendered when police apprehended him. Kot leaves behind a wife and a high-school aged son. He got the news of his father's death while on a school trip to Costa Rica.
Victoria Mercer a high school teenager is honored after 13 years of perfect attendance. "I woke up everyday, got dressed and went to school. It's normal," she said. But what this Philadelphia high school senior is about to accomplish is anything but normal. In 13 years, Mercer has never missed a day of school. No sick days. No vacations during the school year. No skipping school. Nothing to keep her from the classroom. If you're counting, that's 2,340 school days required by Pennsylvania law from Kindergarten to 12th grade. Victoria is actually the second person in her family to graduate with perfect attendance. Her brother Dominic completed Benjamin Franklin High School in 2003 with a spotless record. Shila thinks this will help her get into the college of her choice. Danny thinks it's a sign that she's a geek. Aren’t we applauding what’s supposed to happen? Danny missed 65 days in his senior year. During his divorce proceedings Danny found out that Dante and Isabella had the highest rate of tardiness at their school because Gretchen couldn’t get them to school on time.
Thirteen-year-old Kavya Shivashankar of Olathe, Kansas, spelled "laodicean," Thursday night to take top honors in the 82nd annual Scripps National Spelling Bee. Danny tries to spell the word. Layodacsian is what he comes up with. Spelling bees are nice, but to get Danny’s attention put knife throwing on television. 7:33 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
John is taking a friend to Sunday’s awesome Nascar race at the Monster Mile in Dover. Is it okay to ride bitch in his own bike so he can drink? Danny says yes. It’s manly to do what other people don’t consider manly. Danny loved the ‘If You Can Read This The Bitch Fell Off’ patch the first time he saw it. It’s the same thing as riding passenger in a car. It’s the right thing to not drive when drunk too.
Jay’s 20 year-old daughter is dating a 42 year-old man who’s an ex-convict and they’re living in his car because he doesn’t want to work. It’s tough, but the best thing to do is to sit back and wait. It will occur to her, after getting sick of living this way, that she has options he doesn’t.
John drives a cab in the Bucks County area and doesn’t like his boss. She’s mean to everyone and she inherited the company. Is she impedes his progress in feeding his family it’s okay to complain. Just because the boss is a woman it doesn’t mean you can’t complain. Register a complaint and the state has to respond. Try the Human Resources department too.
7:51 – Mike was put on level 3 probation after making terroristic threats to the girl he was dating. He got it down to a level 1 and now has to go to court in two weeks for some more offenses against the girl and has a probation hearing before going up for those other charges. The courts will have to take each count for itself individually. Judges do like guilty pleas and people that use lawyers rather than defending themselves. They also don’t like people that waste the time of the court.
Scott wants a raise but isn’t sure how to go about getting it. Does he like his job? Yes. Will he stick with it for a while? Yes. Is he good at it? Yes. He works in health care information systems. Danny puts the word out there that Scott likes his job, wants to stay with the company and wants to be properly compensated. He took care of the hard part. Now someone just has to tell Cathy, Scott’s boss.
8:06 – Entertainment News:
Jay Leno, the host of NBC's "The Tonight Show," bows out of his 17-year run tonight and heads for prime-time television in a major shake-up of U.S. network programing. Leno's tenure as the wisecracking, five nights-a-week host of America's top-rated late-night talk show has spanned four presidents and produced landmark shows. Leno's move from the 11:30 p.m. to 10 p.m. time slot will make his one-hour "The Jay Leno Show" the first such program to air five nights-a-week in U.S. prime time. Carson’s retirement, a man on the moon and JFK’s assassination are the television events Danny remembers most. Television dramas and sitcoms cost as much to make as big budget movies.
Sources are speculating that Kate's brother Kevin and sister-in-law Jodie got paid $30,000 to appear on the Early Show earlier this week, at which time they accused the couple of child endangerment. And they're not done yet. Sources say they've been looking for other media outlets interested in shelling out cash for their story. Because this is a no-fault state it should be a 50/50 split, but he’ll have to deliver some outstanding child support. Danny thinks that Jon should opt to take less of the cash and cut the support payments. People suck. There’s got to be a feeling of betrayal to cause this kind of heartlessness.
Three ticket brokers have been sued for allegedly scalping high-priced or counterfeit Bruce Springsteen tickets for Giants Stadium before those shows have even gone on sale. The New York Daily News says the New Jersey attorney general filed two lawsuits accusing the brokers of illegally offering the tickets for as high as 1,300-dollars each, including some seats that don't even exist at Giants Stadium! One bogus deal had tickets for Section 130, Row 45. That section only has 41 rows. Real tickets for the concerts go on sale Monday.
Will Farrell is raising money for a cancer charity by rolling out a new range of sunscreens just in time for summer. The star has slapped his name on a trio of lotions, available in Sexy Hot Tan, Sunstroke and Forbidden Fruit, in a bid to encourage people to lather on protective cream - and to raise money for Cancer For College, a foundation which gives scholarships to cancer patients. Will insists he was happy to loan his star power to the project - and he'll be stocking all three bottles, which feature images of Ferrell in various states of undress. Ferrell jokes, "The bottle says it all. I’ve always dreamed of owning a lotion company."
This week's Real Housewives of New Jersey insinuated that Danielle Staub had a criminal past, and now we know what it is. According to the Star-Ledger, the out of print book Cop Without a Badge reveals that Staub is really Beverly Merrill, a one-time stripper with a criminal record. In the eighties, Merrill was charged with extortion, kidnapping and possession after getting involved in an alleged kidnapping of a man who owed her drug dealer friend money. The book's hero, felon-turned-FBI informant Kevin Maher, met Merrill at a party and subsequently helped her get a deal, where she pled guilty to extortion and was sentenced to five years probation. Merrill, who was dancing at a New Jersey strip club under the name Danielle, married Maher (even though he was already married), but he eventually dumped her. Stripper/kidnapping. What a great story! 8:38 – It’s time to recap Danny Bonaduce’s Neighborhood Hotties: Montgomery County. It was a tight competition between Jackie, a school teacher, and Jamie, another school teacher. Jamie has a tattoo of a pirate on her chest. Then kinkiest place Jackie ever had sex? A closet. Her talent? Ass shaking. Jamie’s talent? Kissing another girl. Jealous, Jackie makes pull a girl wearing an American flag bikini up on stage to grind on her. Jackie wins, the competition. Patriotism rules.
9:07 – Chris, the fiancée of Neighborhood Hotties: Montgomery County winner Jackie calls because they think that Danny said she wasn’t hot. Danny corrects Chris saying that it was Anti-American to go against a girl making out with a girl in an American flag bikini, never saying that Jackie was unattractive.
What’s dirty and what’s not? Danny repeat-wears jeans often. Shila would rather go commando than recycle a pair of underwear. Guys whiz in the shower all the time, women? Apparently yes, 75% do. It’s good for jellyfish stings! Danny doesn’t care about alone time. He leaves the bathroom door open whenever he’s on the toilet, which surprised Amy the first time Shila uses a three second rule for M&M’s, but that’s the only food. Why? There’s a minimal amount of surface area touching the floor. Danny follows the 5 second rule for alcohol and that’s it. He’ll suck a shag in heartbeat. Danny doesn’t believe in germs, but he won’t walk around a gym barefoot. 46% of women don’t brush their teeth at night. Shila goes a few days without washing her hair, which drives her boyfriend nuts. She showers daily, but only shampoos once every five days. Danny like a nice bath, it starts out as water and ends up as mud. Danny only washes his hands in the bathroom if another guy is around, and also pretends to wash his hands if there’s an air dryer instead of paper towels to dry off.
9:36 – News with Shila:
The dad has been reunited with his daughter, Julia, after her Bucks County mother, Bonnie An Sweeten, faked a frightening abduction and fled to Florida. The father and daughter were reunited in Orlando Thursday afternoon and landed at Philadelphia International Airport Thursday evening. Bonnie Ann and her 9-year-old daughter were tracked to the Grand Floridian Hotel in Disney World Wednesday evening. Prior to the incident, Bucks county DA said Sweeten withdrew approximately $9,000 in cash from various bank accounts over the past few days. The elaborate hoax apparently came about due to growing problems at home.
Sweeten, 38, of Feasterville, is listed as a director of a New Hope-based charity called The Carlitz Foundation, run by lawyer Debbie Carlitz. The charity's stated goal is raising money for autism research and for people in Burma. According to sources, Sweeten may have stolen as much as $100,000 from Carlitz and another $200,000 from others. Sweeten lived with her husband, landscaper Richard L. "Larry" Sweeten, in a $425,000 house in a new development Bucks County. She also has a 15-year-old daughter and an 8-month-old girl with Sweeten. Larry Sweeten told a Philadelphia television station that he has not spoken to his wife since her arrest. Sweeten has an arraignment this morning in Florida and will then be extradited to Bucks County. Shila HATES Disneyworld. She’s not into rides or the characters. The only ride she liked was Small World. Maybe she got drunk and in a fight when she was there? Ray thinks that Shila is a closet Nazi sympathizer.
An openly gay teen has been voted prom queen at his Los Angeles high school in a campaign that began as a stunt but ended up really pushing the envelop when it comes to gender and popularity. Sergio Garcia was crowned queen of the Fairfax High School dance at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel on Saturday. He also promised that he would be wearing a suit on prom night, but "don't be fooled: Deep down, I am a queen." And he made good of that promise Saturday, wearing a gray tuxedo topped off with a tiara. Garcia, who is 18, said he saw fliers advertising the prom and the election but they didn't specify that the queen must be female. He thought the role would suit him better than prom king.
A convenience store clerk felt bad for a robber Monday, giving him $40 out of his own pocket to buy insulin. Police were called to the E-Z Mart in Arkansas. The clerk said that a man entered the store and lifted his shirt to show a gun tucked in his waistband. The clerk said the man told him, "I hate to do this," and asked for $40 from the register. When the clerk refused, the man told him the money was for insulin. So the clerk took out his wallet and handed over the cash. The robber accepted the money, thanked him, shook his hand and left. Police are still searching for him. This could be an attempted robbery, but is it a real robbery if the clerk gave up his own money willingly?
9:56 – Danny and Spike are now ‘boys’ at the same time that some distance grew between Danny and Jeff. There was something on Danny’s neck that caused him some concern and Spike suggested that he see a doctor. Danny just cut it off at home. Danny doesn’t do doctors. Soon Spike will be lancing boils on Danny!
10:00 – Danny’s Final Thought: Play safe kids!
Danny Bonaduce 05/28/09
6:03 – Danny has an array of energy drinks in front of him this morning. First of the day is Bawls, a blue beverage that he was turned on to by the girl that played Tabitha on Bewitched, the first show Danny remembers ever doing. The snooze button on Danny’s clock is out. He use to have a tactic of taking Vivarin when the first alarm went off, then waking up with energy when the second alarm hit. Can’t do that anymore. Yesterday Danny picked up on some abnormalities in the Bonnie Sweeten abduction, which turned out to be a hoax. The only time Danny’s gut has been wrong was the Richard Jewel case. There are some bizarre circumstances in this abduction hoax. Sweeten used a coworker’s driver’s license to buy the plane tickets to Florida and took out $12,000 from the bank for her big weekend in Disneyworld. That’s not going to last long in the happiest place on earth. She also has two other kids, a teenager and one that’s under a year old. Chris calls in to say that he snorted no-doze to stay awake in the military. Danny did that and also snorted Xanax, which really didn’t work. 6:37 – SPORTS: Phillies Brett Myers felt a sharp pinching sensation in the back of his right hip that forced him from the game in the sixth inning of a 6-2 loss to the Florida Marlins that booted the Phillies from first place in the National League East.
A basketball player missing his left hand has received a scholarship to play for Division I Manhattan College next season. Kevin Laue knows what would happen if a college basketball team took a chance on him and he didn't pan out. Fans would wonder what the coach was thinking in using a scholarship on a center missing his left hand. "It's a business," the 6-foot-10 Laue said. "Their jobs are all on the line. It's much safer to take a two-handed guy my size that got beat by me." NBA stands for Need Both Arms. Danny thinks this is a nice story, but thinks that the kid will get torn up on the court. Danny prefers his basketball players with 10 digits.
Zoli calls to say that he thinks the only advantage the one handed player would have would be waving his stump in his opponent’s face. 6’10’ isn’t incredibly tall for a center either. Tim calls to say he saw a one handed MMA fighter dominate. Where is he now? April calls to say she’s upset that Danny said being short is a disadvantage. Shila thinks that the kid will work harder than someone that has two hands. Rick calls to say maybe he could skip the NBA and become a Harlem Globetrotter. Walt thinks it’s a nice story that the kid will be college basketball.
7:12 – News with Shila: Police found the missing mother and her nine-year-old daughter from Bucks County in Disney World Wednesday, a day after the mother called 911 claiming they had been abducted by 2 unknown assailants. The pair had flown from Philadelphia to Florida Tuesday, hours after Bonnie Sweeten, reported that she and her daughter Julia had been thrown into the trunk of a car by two male assailants. Sweeten used a co-worker's ID to buy the plane tickets. She was in custody Wednesday and will be charged with false reports and identity theft. She had first made a call to 911 to report that her SUV had been involved in a crash with another vehicle and that she was kidnapped and thrown in the trunk of a black Cadillac and that her daughter was also taken and thrown in the trunk of her Denali. Police found inconsistencies with Sweeten’s story from the start and noted that they couldn’t find witnesses on the busy road where the “abduction” supposedly occurred. Sweeten has two other daughters, a 15-year-old from her prior marriage and an 8-month-old with her current husband.
An employee was shot Wednesday afternoon inside the Trump Taj Mahal Casino Resort and died soon afterward. Ray Kot was a shift manager who had been with the casino since the day it opened in 1990. "He was the loveliest human being you ever want to meet," said Mark Juliano, CEO of Trump Entertainment Resorts. Juliano said there did not appear to be a dispute between Kot and the shooter, whose identity wasn't disclosed. Kot, of Egg Harbor Township, was shot three to four times in a nonpublic office just off the casino floor. State police said the shooter was a 57-year-old man from Norristown, Pa., who apparently knew Kot from past instances as a patron at the casino. Charges against the man were pending.
Bucks County residents are on high alert after several witnesses reported seeing a black bear roaming around the area. The Doylestown Township Police Department released pictures of the bear after it was spotted on Ferry Road during the early morning hours Wednesday. The bear was spotted in the yard of a Solebury home and it was also spotted in the Buckingham area. Authorities say the roaming bear does not appear to be aggressive and has not caused any harm. Residents are urged to bring in trash cans and bird feeders inside as a precaution. If you see the bear, you are urged to contact police. Danny said that his biggest fear was a bear while mocking Shila’s list of ‘biggest fears’ yesterday and now there’s a black bear roaming around. God is f’ing with him. Shila thinks they’re docile creatures until provoked. Newman calls to say that he’s had 12 bears on his porch since Spring started and they’re harmless….so far. They’re just looking for food.
Police said a man trying to enter a gated community in Poconos fell out of his truck while trying to open the gate and was run over by his own vehicle on Monday. The 52-year-old Tobyhanna man wasn't injured but was taken to a hospital for a blood test when police found him to be under the influence of alcohol. Pocono Mountain Regional Police are awaiting the results of the blood test before deciding whether to charge him with driving under the influence. Shila’s mother ran her leg over when she was a kid. No broken bones, but some heavy duty bruises. Danny’s first wife, the crazy Japanese woman, almost ran him over when he was trying to keep her from driving drunk once. When he was on the ground she was kicking him in the face while the car was on top of him, suffocating him. Angry or crazy? Angry! 7:32 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
Lisa listens to the show every day on her way to the methadone clinic. She doesn’t work there. Danny lets her know that mixing Xanax and methadone is one hell of a high. Lisa’s 10 year-old came to her saying that she doesn’t want to live, she’s ugly and fat. Is she calling for help? YES. Will she do harm to herself? Caution is the best plan. The father doesn’t buy that she doesn’t need help. Danny thinks that if there’s any doubt, action needs to be taken. Lisa needs to go into mom mode and take care of her little girl.
Rich is on probation for a misdemeanor and caught his wife cheating so he threatened to move out. She threatened to bruise herself up and get him in trouble for violating his probation. He was charged with criminal mischief. This woman is playing a dangerous game, but keeping a detailed journal will carry a surprising amount of weight in court.
Mike’s ex’s have a history of cheating on him and his new girlfriend has been hanging out with lot of new people and he’s worried. What can he do to spy on her? Go to a spy store that can monitor private texts and e-mails. Do not open her mail though. It’s a federal offense. Mike needs to change something about his lifestyle to make sure that he doesn’t get cheated on again.
1. Show a little enthusiasm. That’s cool, but agreeing to sex is a victory in itself.
2. Speak up! Don’t be a mute, but don’t overdo it either.
3. Relax those thighs. Women are only cheating themselves if they don’t loosen up and get into it.
4. Know thyself. Don’t be embarrassed about your body. Use those hands too!
5. Get a new bedtime script. Freshen things up, explore!
6. Get a little uncomfortable. Break routine and put yourself out there.
7. Fantasize. Danny doesn’t care what a girl is thinking about while having sex with him, just as long as he’s having sex.
8. Get creative with the merchandise.
9. Get a little selfish!
10.Stop doing favors. Danny disagrees, do it anyway.
Former Alice In Chains bassist Mike Starr has been selected as a cast member for the new season of the VH1 reality series, Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew. Joining Starr are actress Mackenzie Phillips (One Day At A Time), former Hollywood Madame Heidi Fleiss, NBA great Dennis Rodman, Lisa D'Amato (America's Next Top Model. Rodman is messing up Danny’s chance to do more work with TNA Wrestling. Not cool.
Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler sued no one...and lost. The Los Angeles Times says the singer was upset that anonymous bloggers were impersonating him on the Internet and making false statements, so he filed a lawsuit. The problem is, none of the bloggers were identified, so they didn't show up in court last Friday. So, the judge dismissed the lawsuit.
Director Danny Boyle and the makers of Slumdog Millionaire were in India Wednesday meeting with 9 year old girl and 10 year old boy, the child stars of the Oscar-winning film. In the last month, both children have lost their homes after sweeps by local authorities. Boyle announced that they were able to buy a new home for both of them. But Ali's father seems to have grown impatient. "It has been five to six months," the girl's father said. "Everything is available in Mumbai if you have the money. If you really want to get us a house you can get us a house in two days. After the Oscars they forgot about us." The filmmakers have set up a trust for the stars, and pledged to spend up to $100,000 to buy the families new apartments. A house in Bombay can’t be that expensive! Danny has enough cash in his pocket to get a condo there right now.
Al Pacino is in talks to play Dr. Jack Kevorkian in the film You Don't Know Jack. Kevorkian, an infamous advocate of doctor-assisted suicide, assisted in more than 150 deaths before being convicted of second degree murder in 1999. He was sentenced to 10-25 years in jail, and was paroled last June after serving 8 years. Danny has some favorite last words. ‘Jefferson survives’ by John Adams on the 4th of July and someone that said ‘Either this wallpaper goes or I do.’
A new tell-all about famed talk show host/producer Merv Griffin reveals that he had quite a list of lovers. While he never publically came out, it was an open secret in Hollywood that he was gay, and according to the book Merv Griffin: A Life in the Closet, Merv slept with Rock Hudson, Liberace, James Dean, Marlon Brando, Montgomery Clift and Peter Lawford. In fact, the book claims his relationship with Brando was more than just a fling. A publishing source tells The National Enquirer, "Their prolonged sexual affair began when Merv encountered Brando in an alley in New York's theater district where he was polishing his motorcycle while acting in A Street Car Named Desire." Another explosive secret revealed in the book is that Merv was a regular at all-male orgies hosted by his good friend Liberace. Polishing a motorcycle? Danny is shocked that Liberace was gay. Danny wasn’t surprised by the James Dean and Marlon Brando rumors. 8:31 – Who Would Win In A Fight: Mike Tyson or a Tiger?
Metro takes Tyson because he’s the first round maniac. The tiger has not faced an enemy like Tyson. He just has to land one punch to the tiger’s nose and it’s over. Kevin calls to take Tyson because he’s nuts. Shila takes Tyson too. He has a dangerous left hook, he bit Evander Holyfield’s ear off, and he wanted to kill Lenox Lewis’s children. Danny takes the tiger because of size and the job one of them did on Roy Horn from Siegfried and Roy. The tiger has five weapons, claws on each paw and a huge set of fangs.
John takes the tiger because Tyson is all talk. TJ goes with Tyson because he’s crazy and dumb enough to slay the tiger. Cooter also goes with Tyson because the black man has been blamed enough today. Greg goes with tiger because it could bit off Iron Mike’s fists and go for the face. CBS3’s Bob Kelly takes the tiger too.
8:51 – Bill take the tiger because of weight advantage. JJ goes with Tyson because the tiger attacks from behind and when facing Tyson he’d man up and clobber him. Chris takes the tiger because he’s a tiger. Luke is on the side of the tiger, no human would win. TJ takes the tiger because Tyson can’t even beat Robin Givens. Chris thinks that tiger claws will shred Tyson. Tyson loses the phone and the text vote. Tiger wins!
9:05 – Lisa Rinna is on the show. Danny is blown away at how chiseled Lisa’s body is. Lisa only works out about an hour a day. She works out six days a week, but changes her routine daily to keep her body confused. She relaxed her routine for Playboy so her curves were a little softer, they didn’t want her looking cut up. Lisa was proud to show off her hard work at the age of 45 after two kids. Danny keeps a photo of Lisa in his gym as inspiration because she’s in such great shape. She’s wrote a book about her fitness regimen, Rinnavation: Getting Your Best Life Ever. Could Danny follow the book and get shredded? Yes! He’s worried she’ll make fun of him for doing Dance Dance Revolution to get in shape. Not at all she has dance DVD’s that he could use too!
9:29 – Darren is a few days behind the show because he listens to the podcasts and wants to know why Danny called his ’67 Tempest an Impala. Steve is right, but it’s a slight mistake. Danny’s lucky he doesn’t have to clean Shila’s apartment in his underwear. People have odd reactions to Danny in public. A woman started to pet Danny in the elevator this morning, it was rather bizarre. Danny then made his leg twitch like a puppy getting a good rubbin’. It made another person in the elevator uncomfortable.
9:38 – News with Shila:
A federal judge here sentenced a wealthy New Jersey businessman to 25 years in prison on charges he traveled to eastern Europe to molest boys in exchange for money and gifts. Forty-five-year-old Anthony Mark Bianchi, of North Wildwood, was sentenced today. He was convicted of having sex with or attempting to have sex with at least a half-dozen boys on foreign soil on trips from 2003 to 2005.Danny applauds this conviction.
Toys R Us. Inc. announced early Thursday that it had bought troubled high-end retailer FAO Schwarz, which has struggled for years through bankruptcies amid tough competition from discount stores. Toys do two things they’re fun and they break. It’s childhood crack. FAO Schwartz has cool stuff, but they’re not really toys.
A man in Seattle was arrested after trying to perform a puppet show with his penis! Timothy Martin, 36, was seen standing on top of an air conditioning unit platform in an apartment complex, dressed only in an unbuttoned flannel shirt. One female witness "saw that Martin had a string attached to his penis and was apparently manipulating it with the string like a puppet." When officers arrived on the scene they found a white string tied around Martin's penis, as well as methamphetamine and a pornographic magazine. He was charged with felony indecent exposure - which he has been convicted of twice before. Danny was invited to perform with the Puppetry of the Penis stage show, but he can only do one trick: the baby bird.
9:56 – Danny’s not certain how Spike could fight to a tie in a street fight. It was a two on two fight, Spike fought to a draw, but his buddy won huge, so it was a team win. Spike believes brunch is nonsense. It’s either breakfast or lunch. He also flipped out over the fact that there’s a second Valentine’s Day in the Midwest called Sweetest Day. Danny’s holiday is Bitch, This Is What You Get Day.
9:59 – Danny’s Final Thought: Sometimes when you hit a home run you just gotta brag about it.
Danny Bonaduce 05/27/09
6:01 – Danny’s had a bad 48 hours. His ass has been handed to him more than a few times. Danny was at Best Buy yesterday parenting by cash in preparation for his kids coming to town. He spent over $500 on Nintendoo Wii stuff, it could have been worse. Working out by Wii really hasn’t been working out for Danny so he went jogging down Delaware Ave. and a nice leisurely pace. It didn’t really work out though, it wasn’t a good work out. In an effort to make up for the bad run he spent some time with a Billy Blanks Jr. DVD, who teaches cardioke. Cardioke is a cardio workout that involves singing. Danny’s cardioke workout involved ‘It’s Raining Men’ by the Weather Girls and some ‘Dontcha’ by the Pussy Cat Dolls, which made Amy laugh.
6:12 – Amy told Danny that she ‘gleeted’ yesterday, something which Danny had never experienced. Gleeting is a form of spitting that involved pushing spit out of the bottom of your mouth with your tongue. At lunch Danny and Shila got into an argument over the word ‘irregardless.’ It lead to a serisous argument. Danny found ‘gleeting’ in the online dictionary, and also found ‘irregardless.’ In an effort to prove he’s right Danny takes off on his motorcycle to get a dictionary at a book store. There was no entry for ‘irregardless’ however it was in the entry for ‘regardless.’ It is in the dictionary. Danny apologizes to Shila. WOW! 6:30 – SPORTS: Joe Blanton had a career-high 11 strikeouts in seven scoreless innings, and the Philadelphia Phillies held on to beat the Florida Marlins 5-3 Tuesday night.
Jose Canseco came out swinging but did not last long in his mixed martial arts debut. Canseco, the former major league slugger, was defeated by the South Korean super heavyweight Hong Man Choi by a knockout 1 minute 17 seconds into the first round in Yokohama, Japan. The referee stopped the fight when the 7-foot-2, 330-pound Choi knocked Canseco to the mat and started punching his head. The differences between Danny and Canseco? Danny doesn’t lose and Danny doesn’t blow whistles. Now that newspapers are reporting that Danny won the boxing match against Canseco he wants to watch that fight again, not a replay of Canseco’s MMA match. Canseco threw baseballs out on the way to the ring and maybe his own as well.
6:38 – Danny got into a conversation with some construction workers about ‘manscaping’ during his smoking break earlier. It’s the grooming of man, above or below the waist. Danny has a list of words he was surprised were in the dictionary he bought yesterday. Do they belong in the dictionary? Danny thinks some of them don’t.
14 - Muggle – Anyone who can’t perform magic, from the Harry Potter books
13 – Blamestorming – Collectively finding a scapegoat for mistake for which no one is willing to confess
12 – Gaydar – A homosexual’s ability to identify another homosexual by subtleties.
Danny thinks that straight people can have gaydar too.
11 – Grrrl – A young, independent, aggressive woman who is secure in her sexuality.
10 – Threequel – Third work in a trilogy or movies of books.
9 – Mini Me – A smaller person resembling another.
8 – Screenager – A person in their teens or tweens with an aptitude for computers.
7 – Cyberslacking – Wasting your employer’s time surfing the internet.
6 – Lookism – Discriminating based on appearance.
5 – Frankenfood – Derogatory term for food with genetically modified ingredients.
4 – Riffage – Guitar riffs
3 – Prebuttle – Before the rebuttal.
2 – Egosurfing – Looking for anything with your name in it on the internet.
1 – Meatspace – Physical world, as opposed to the virtual.
7:07 – News with Shila:
Philadelphia police found Bonnie Sweeten's SUV overnight, but they are still in a frantic search for the 38-year old mom and her 8-year old daughter. The woman's SUV was found on 15th and Chestnut Streets by a police officer. It had a parking ticket on the windshield. Danny’s going to keep an eye on this one. He’s accidentally dialed 911 on his cell phone and it took him a long time to get off the phone with the operator.
Bacon-flavored vodka is all the rage in Seattle and sales are sizzling. At about $30 a bottle, it's selling like hotcakes. Seattle-based Black Rock Spirits cooked up the concept of Bakon Vodka . It's inspiring bartenders across the city to concoct cocktails that reflect peoples' passion for pork. Danny knows of a guy who puts pepperoni in his vodka to mix with Bloody Marys. What about just drinking vodka???
President Obama chose the most controversial of his potential nominees to the Supreme Court, and he presented Judge Sonia Sotomayor yesterday as the embodiment of the qualities he seeks in a judge: a rigorous intellect, an appreciation of the limited role of the judiciary and "an understanding of how the world works and how ordinary people live."
The Guinness Book of World Records is being sued by the man they name as having sued the most people ever. Unhappy with his title and place in the record book, Jonathan Lee Riches has filed the lawsuit in the Eastern District of Washington, one of the few U.S District Courts where he isn't banned from filing. Among his previous targets appear actor Emilio Estevez, the Roman Empire and the Eiffel Tower. According to The Spokesman-Review Riches, dubbed 'Sue-per-man', has said of his action, "The Guinness Book of World Records have no right to publish my work, my legal masterpieces." 7:32 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
Joe’s girlfriend is being harassed by her ex’s new girlfriend. She’s posted threats on the internet. Problem solved! Any sort of threat is actionable. She’s brought it to the attention of the authorities, but no action has been taken. Danny says to go back to the police saying she is in fear of her safety with documentation of the authorities she’s talked to that have previously ignored her. That puts their ass on the line too, which will lead to action.
John got divorced nine years ago and has been raising the kids on his own since. Now she’s asking to see the kids. Danny thinks that there’s something wrong with any woman who doesn’t want to be in their children’s lives. The kids haven’t voiced an interest in seeing their mother however. If she does waltz back into their lives and is the ‘cool’ parent it might dazzle the kids at first, but later in life they’ll remember who stuck around and did the dirty work.
Pat asks about a woman not changing her name for her husband. Danny’s not fond of it, but when he marries Amy he’ll change his last name to Railsback because he’s embarrassed by what his ex-wife is doing to the name Bonaduce. Taking a husband’s name is a custom that’s territorial though.
Karen is torn between her current husband and her first love. She sees the first love constantly, but hasn’t cheated yet. Danny says to change the phone number now. Everyone remembers their first love, but it’s more likely that people are in love with the memory of that first love.
7:50 – Tori Spelling and Deam McDermott from Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood are on the show. Danny had a few run-ins with Tori and Dean at auditions for roles in Los Angeles. Shila’s been watching the shows and was surprised at how down to earth Tori is in real life. Tori and Dean have two kids, once you got through the first one you realize how durable the second one can be. The biggest obstacle for the family could be Dean’s love of motorcycle racing. After having to have a titanium plate screwed into his bones Danny prefers cruising on bigger bikes.
8:06 – Entertainment News:
Weezer are gearing up to release their own signature Snuggle blanket. According to Rolling Stone, the oddball rockers have teamed-up with blanket company Snuggie, who manufacture and distribute blankets with sleeves, to produce their own Wuggie.
Iggy Pop is set to reform the original line-up of The Stooges to play 'Raw Power'. The 'Lust For Life' star has been in discussions with former guitarist James Williamson about getting together al the members of the legendary rock band to perform their classic 1973 album in full. Iggy told The Australian: "I had a meeting in Los Angeles last week with James. "It was the first time we had seen each other in 30 years. So we talked about doing something together. 'Raw Power' would be the repertoire.'' Shortly after Ron's death, former Sex Pistols musician Steve Jones indicated he would be interested in joining the group. Danny would be into seeing this.
Despite all the tears on the dramatic season five premiere of TLC's Jon & Kate Plus 8, critics weren't so sympathetic toward Jon and Kate Gosselin. At one point in the show, Kate complained that her life was "just so hard" due to media attention and pressures on her marriage. "Is it really, Kate?" sniped the Baltimore Sun's David Zurawik. "Tell that to a family in which the breadwinner has just lost her or his job, you silly, self-absorbed fool." Shila wants to watch the show now. Danny’s intrigued by the Real Housewives of New Jersey.
A fan who posted the following query to Gene Simmons: "Can you hook Adam Lambert up with someone to get him started on the way to be another rock god like you?" His reply: "Respectfully, I don't think Adam is a rock singer. He sounds much more convincing singing ballads, and Broadway shows. His voice doesn't seem to have a 'rock quality.' But, I'm sure he's going to do just fine." There are certain bands that can’t replace original members, like Led Zeppelin and Guns n’ Roses, and there are those that can like Van Halen and KISS.
8:29 – Kenny calls in to say that big bands have one or two people that are irreplaceable. Aerosmith certainly didn’t have the drawing power when Joe Perry left the group when their Rock In A Hard Place album came out. Brenda think that it’s not a good move to replace the singer of a band with someone who wasn’t born before the singer died. Danny doesn’t think that Lambert should be in Queen, but youth isn’t the issue.
8:32 – Philadelphia’s Bob Saget is on the phone, his new show Surviving Suburbia is now on Wednesday nights at 9:30 on ABC. The show is about a family man who doesn’t want to be part of the suburban dream. In tonight’s episode Bob’s character avoids looking at a scantily clad 17 year-old and his wife calls him out on it. Danny went through this when playing Britney Spears songs on the radio 10 years ago. The show tries to approach topics that traditional sitcoms don’t. The show is on the bubble for the new season, so if the audience demands it Surviving Suburbia will come back. The Olsen Twins were very aware of what men thought of them in the public eye. Danny made friends with one of them on the show 1 vs. 100. Bob has to split, but he wants to come in the studio when he comes to play the Borgata in August.
8:51 – F My Life
Shila went to do some wash yesterday and used bleach instead of detergent. F My Life.
Pete’s car will never pass inspection and he owes $14,000 on it. F My Life.
Jules the Intern was supposed to take over the phone calls coming in and accidentally hung up on them. F Danny’s Life.
Brian, a criminal defense attorney, but he hasn’t been working because Danny’s hasn’t committed a crime yet. F My Life
9:04 – Danny challenged his fiancée Amy to a round of Strip Guitar Hero and lost big last night. He’s convinced she’s practicing all day, which is cheating in his book. Danny learned that losing big in a game was not a turn on and didn’t want to have sex. Knowing that his fiancée and ex-wife were with guitar players just before getting in relationships with Danny stuck in his mind. Guitar Hero didn’t get girls naked, but the Bedazzler did. Danny had a Bedazzling party with some of his wife’s friends, which lead to less clothes and more skin. That lead to skin. Shila’s been conned out of her clothes before. From experience Shila was able to win strip poker because the guy she was playing was distracted by her shirtless poker hand. Beth calls to say that she plays naked shuffleboard, but the bent over bodies of men aren’t always that hot to her.
9:32 – News with Shila:
Authorities are investigating the death of a 58-year-old city man whose body was found buried in the backyard of his Maple Street home Tuesday as suspicious. How is it not clear that there was foul play? Did he fall in a hole in his backyard? John Wayne Gacey had a crawlspace under his house that was full of dead bodies, but none in the backyard.
New Castle County police say a 30-year-old man pointed a replica handgun at two police officers. Police say officers responded to a report of a group of men drinking alcohol and breaking bottles in the 500 block of Homestead Road on Sunday night. How is that guy not full of bullets? That’s one brave cop.
A 74-year-old Waco man was attacked and stung by hundreds of bees 200 times while he was mowing grass. Braun has been living with his sister at a residence on the Old Marlin Highway and was in the yard mowing grass on a lawn tractor when the drone of the mower’s motor apparently aggravated a large swarm of bees that had nested above the home’s outside electric meter. Braun told ambulance personnel he first tried to cover his face with his shirt and then ran to his truck to try to escape the swarm, but that proved futile. This story reminds Danny of Macaulay Culkin getting stung to death in My Girl.Shila’s biggest fear is being stung by bees. And being stuck in an elevator. And being in a tanning bed when the bulbs explode. And being buried alive.
Paul was buried alive a few years ago. He was building his house and accidently cracked the foundation, so he dug a hole to fix it and the hole closed in on him. As a kid Danny and his brother were playing in really deep fox holes when the ground collapsed around he and his brother John. Their brother Anthony, the really strong one, pulled them out.
Skin-tight denim may cause a temporary bout of a nerve condition called meralgia paresthetica, also known as “tingling thigh syndrome.” Pair those skinny jeans with a pair of sky-high heels, and your risk for upsetting this particular nerve increases, as Ghoman discovered the hard way. Dr. William Madosky, a chiropractic physician in Richmond Heights, Mo., says that high heels increase the chance for the numbing sensation because the teetering shoes tilt the pelvis forward, increasing the pressure on the nerve. Wearing skin tight pants with high heels on means Danny is screwed.
9:56 – Spike is in the studio. He got his nickname from a haircut in college, not from shooting heroin.
Danny Bonaduce 05/26/09
6:01 – Shila had a whirlwind of a weekend. She’s detoxing from her wild weekend. Shila usually drinks until she fights. Not a healthy plan according to Uncle Dan. Somehow Danny makes Metro drink, even though they haven’t been in a bar together for well over a week. Danny went to New York to tape another episode for Smoking Gun Presents: World’s Dumbest and was annoyed by one of the producer. They delivered props that he requested, but couldn’t remember why. Danny really wants to go hang gliding. He is an expert sky diver and bungee jumping. He was quite impressed by the showing of patriotism in Philadelphia on Memorial Day. You don’t have to be shot at to appreciate the sacrifice of our military. Danny got into a bit of a fight with his fiancée Amy over Guitar Hero this weekend. She was rocking out and turned Danny on. Danny did one of the Wilson sisters from Heart. There was a time that neither of them were skinny, but she’ll never admit to her lust of Bonaduce now.
6:25 – Danny has a Red Bull Cola in his hand. It’s been pulled off the shelves in Germany because traces of cocaine have been found in the drink. Coca-Cola used to have cocaine in it. Will this help or hurt the company’s image? Danny pops open the can and plans to see if there’s anything suspicious in the Red Bull Cola recipe.
6:36 – The Top 5 for Neighborhood Hotties: Montgomery County have been announced. Vote for your favorite now. Vote for Alyson, Kristin, Skylar, Christina and Jamie. One of the girls will be crowned winner Thursday, 5/28 at Reed's Blue Bell.
6:39 – Shila’s boyfriend blew her off over the weekend to go to Saturday’s Phillies/Yankees game in New York. She was invited to the game by a mutual friend, but he just wanted to go with his friends. It wasn’t a declared ‘Boy’s Night Out’ because there were a few girls on the trip. She wasn’t happy with Sean’s behavior and it lead to a fight. Danny agrees that Sean was out of line if other girls were going on the trip. He thinks it’s a big deal that Sean uninvited her from the trip. Metro thinks that it was a boy’ trip and Sean wasn’t out of line. Danny thinks this is more than a ‘Boy’s Night Out.’ At the very least he was insensitive. People brought their girlfriends, just not Sean.
6:52 – Christine calls to ask how long Sean waited to tell Shila he didn’t want her going. He told her the night before the trip, which Christine disagrees with. Joy thinks that maybe Sean didn’t want to babysit Shila and play the role of loving boyfriend. George thinks that Sean is wrong. Scott agrees with Shila and doesn’t think that another girl on the trip is the issue. Shila was invited and Sean was flip flopping on going and waited to the last minute to pull the trigger. As the weekend went on it bothered Shila more and more. April wants to know what the other girls on the trip were like and how they got on the bus. Tallying the calls 17-2, Sean is a jerk. Next time Danny wants Shila to stand up and not let Sean tell her what to do.
7:07 – News with Shila: Hundreds of soldiers received a hero's welcome as they arrived home on Memorial Day following a year overseas. Family and friends could barely contain their excitement as 390 members of the National Guard arrived at Fort Dix Monday afternoon. The service men and women were part of the largest National Guard deployment since World War II. But before the troops can begin restarting their lives, they must undergo seven to ten days of debriefing and evaluation.
Gamblers tried their luck on Friday at Pennsylvania's newest casino. The Sands Casino Resort Bethlehem opened about 20 minutes earlier than scheduled, with hundreds of gamblers -- some of whom had lined up before dawn. The $743 million dollar million slots resort is built on the site of a historic mill where tens of thousands of workers once made steel for warships and beams for numerous skyscrapers and bridges. Debuting with 3,000 slot machines and four restaurants, Sands Bethlehem becomes the eighth casino to open in Pennsylvania since the state legalized slots gambling in 2004. Danny wants table games with his slots. Lower employee costs keep him from having fun.
Saturday was a record-setting night for one craps player in Atlantic City. Patricia Demauro set a new record for the longest craps roll, hanging on for four hours and 18 minutes at the Borgata Hotel. Borgata officials say she beat the previous record by one hour and 12 minutes that was set 20 years ago in Las Vegas. This was only her second time playing craps. She bought into the game for $100 and after 154 rolls; she was greeted by Borgata with a champagne toast. The casino wouldn't say how much Patricia had won.
A woman and her 13-year-old son who were on the run from court-ordered cancer treatment for the boy have returned to Minnesota on Monday. She’s all for natural remedies until she’s about to go to jail.
7:28 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
Joe is a contractor on parole and he’s having a tough time making ends meet. Stop telling people you’re on parole, and then think about what you can do to beat the competition. Work hard, let people know who you are and what you can do. Pass out flyers, get word of mouth going, and deliver on promises.
Sally was on disability for six months with back trouble, got back to work and got a promotion with longer hours. Now the job is interfering with her home life that she blames on the lack of attention she’s giving her kids. Should she stay at the job with the economy the way it is or look for a job that’s more agreeable to her situation. The problem isn’t the job, the problem is the effort. She needs to work harder to make sure she’s part of her kids lives by talking to teachers, investigating who they’re spending time with, and going over his homework with him.
Cooter’s parents are breaking up and it’s making his life hell. His dad is now dating another woman and Cooter’s mom isn’t dealing well with it. She’s got to get back on the dating scene, get a job and move out of Cooter’s place. A codependent relationship and complacency isn’t good for anyone.
7:46 – Danny has news article in his hands that asks if the recession has improved sex lifes. Before Shila joined the show she was out of work and always in a bad mood. Now that she’s working she’s in a better mood, but thinks that it’s the same for her. Metro thinks his is more active because he’s not going out as much and staying in. Lubricants and condoms are going up in sales. The study says that sex is up 74% between consenting adults. Shila thinks that the economy would bring people down and less likely to want to do the nasty. More time at home because of unemployment could lead to sex though. Danny certainly doesn’t have the average sex life though. Sarah calls to say that she’s having more sex, it’s a stress reliever. Lou thinks that people are having more sex these days. Laura’s gotten more affectionate with her husband lately. Christie says that she’s more willing to chase her husband for sex than she was a year ago.
8:07 – Entertainment News:
It looks like Kiefer Sutherland may avoid another stint in jail. The 24 star and designer Jay McCollough settled their differences over the May 7th incident, in which the actor headbutted the designer after he allegedly shoved actress Brooke Shields. "I am sorry about what happened that night and sincerely regret that Mr. McCollough was injured," Sutherland said in the statement. Added McCollough, "I appreciate Mr. Sutherland's statement and wish him well." Sutherland is due to return to court June 22nd, at which time prosecutors may request charges filed against the actor be dropped.
Nine Inch Nails is asking fans to help out one of their own who needs a heart transplant. Trent Reznor posted on his blog that 27-year-old Nails' lover Eric De La Cruz has no medical insurance but will die if he does not have the operation which will cost 780,000-dollars. So, every fan who donates 1,000-dollars to the cause will be able to hang out with the Nails and Jane's Addiction before any show on the NINJA tour. The generous fan and a guest can watch the soundcheck for both bands, eat dinner with them, get photos and autographs, and watch the concert from the side of the stage. Donate 300-bucks and you can stay for soundcheck and meet both bands. Pony up your cash at NIN.com. Danny wants to take his money and hang out with a band who has ‘addiction’ in their name. When Danny pays for his ‘best friend of the day’ it involves $160 and lasts about 30 minutes.
The rumors that Mel Gibson's girlfriend is pregnant have finally been confirmed by the actor. 53-year-old Gibson told Jay Leno yesterday that Oksana Grigorieva, 38, is indeed knocked up. "I guess I’m 'Octo-Mel,'" said Gibson, who already has seven kids with soon-to-be ex-wife Robyn. He also opened up about the end of his 28-year-marriage. "My wife and I, our marriage ended three years ago and we’ve been separated ever since then," said the actor. "These things happen. It's unfortunate, it's sad, but you know she is an admirable woman -- we still got kids together, we're friends." Gibson added, "Look, when it's all said and done, I did a pretty good hatchet job on my marriage myself. I'm to blame. If you're inclined to judge, put it here."
Will Smith is Hollywood's most bankable movie star, according to the entertainment database company The Ulmer Scale. Smith topped their new edition of The Actors Hot List, scoring a 96 out of a possible 100 points (how this number was achieved was not explained). Johnny Depp came in second, followed by Brad Pitt and Tom Hanks. Rounding out Top Ten was: George Clooney, Will Ferrell, Reese Witherspoon (the only woman in the top ten), Nicolas Cage, Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe. Former number one Julia Roberts slipped 11 spots to 12th place, although she was the second highest woman on the list. But the biggest drop in power was suffered by Mel Gibson, who fell 26 spots. Brad Pitt has had a lot of duds lately though. Danny thinks that Will Smith is gold at the moment, even though he didn’t like I Am Legend.
Adam Lambert may have lost on "American Idol," but there may be an even better gig waiting for him. Guitarist Brian May told Rolling Stone magazine that he and drummer Roger Taylor are seriously thinking about asking Adam to be the new lead singer for Queen. All three performed together on last Wednesday's "Idol" finale and since Paul Rodgers has ended his brief four-year tenure as the band's frontman, Adam is a logical choice to replace him.
8:28 – Danny was watching a documentary on swingers over the weekend and called his fiancée Amy down to watch it with him. He pointed out that it was working out for one couple when she launched into him for pressuring her. It ended up with an argument that made Danny storm out of the house. Danny quit this fight a long time ago because he knew he would never win. Amy is on the phone, she’s irritated. She thought that Danny skipped the part where a woman said that threesomes ruined her marriage, and only chose to hear the people who had good experiences. Danny just wants to have sex with someone that isn’t Amy, but he doesn’t want to love them. Danny does apologize for threatening to cheat on Amy. What he wanted to say came out wrong. Lackluster sex with his ex-wife lead to cheating. Daniel calls in to say he’s going through the same thing. He had an agreement with his wife for some swinging, met two hotties, but the wife shot them down because she wanted to be the one that picked the girls. Amy thinks that if a girl wanted to take a man home she has to talk to his girlfriend or wife first. Danny loves Amy, she wants him to act like it.
8:45 – Ivan takes Amy’s side and suggests that she turns the tables and bring another guy into the bedroom. Danny’s cool with that. However there’s still moves that are off limits. Metro is not cool with that. Sharing a girl with another woman is okay, but put another threesome and it’s creepy because the math changes. She’s not interested in sex with other men. Alan calls to suggest that Danny gets the second girl to hit on Amy and do all the work. Amy’s flirted with girls before, she likes compliments. Joe’s been waiting for his wife to pick the right girl for three years. Kelly says the ball is in Amy’s court. Kelly gave her husband the greatest gift with her best friend when she knew that the marriage was ending. Jacky, an experienced threesome girl, calls to clarify Danny’s threesome rules. He wants to see the girl on girl love. If Amy can pick out furniture why can’t she pick a girl?
9:07 – Listener Mail!
Adam wrote Danny to ask about the benefits of Cialis and Viagra. He was doing well, but wants to do it more than a few times in the night. Pills won’t make the girl more attractive. Nothing will help you with desire, but if the desire is there then the pills can help.
Next up is a letter from someone that wants to punch Danny in the face and then have raunchy makeup sex. Worried that the letter is from a guy, he’s relieved to find out it’s from a listener named Liza.
9:20 – Danny was surprised that Old City was so quiet because everyone went down the shore this weekend. Traffic is always bad on the Expressway Friday afternoons and Monday evenings. Bob Kelly from CBS3 is going to start doing traffic for the show now. Friday’s from 2-7 are the most congested. Danny wants to know about nude beaches in New Jersey, Bob might know something about that.
9:38 – News with Shila:
The final on Danny’s bet with Shila. Some in management think she won, some don’t. So Danny will pay according to the ratio of those that think she won versus the total of those polled.
Echoing across Veterans Square Monday morning, the voice of the young baritone singing “America the Beautiful” had a familiar ring to many in attendance at the Memorial Day ceremony. Kane Kalas, the youngest son of beloved Phillies announcer Harry Kalas who died April 13, was delivering the patriotic standard in front of the Delaware County Courthouse where his father had stood for two decades at events honoring military veterans.
A central Pennsylvania man has died after being seriously burned in a lawnmower accident. That was two days after he was hurt when the mower flipped upside-down in the town of Jersey Shore. He was trapped underneath the machine and then caught fire. A woman probably caused the accident.
A man said he saved his dog's life after sucking venom from a rattlesnake bite out of the animal's nose. Bobby Jenkins said he began feeling ill after getting his dog, Tank, to a veterinarian. He went to the hospital and received a dose of antivenin. In all, Jenkins needed four vials of antivenin at a cost of $3,500 per vial. A cost of $14,000 to save a dog? Put it down! A hole in the ground is free.
A bandit in a gorilla suit tore through Wisconsin convenience stores and tried swiping big, bogus bananas made of Styrofoam, police say. The phony primate's motive for the thefts of the equally fake fruit at two convenience stores remains a mystery. Danny’s money is that this monkey business was prank.
10:00 – Danny’s Final Thought: Life is not worth living.
Danny Bonaduce Show 05/22/09
6:01 – Shila is towering over Danny today because she’s wearing ‘tall’ shoes. Danny was having a dream about being with a girl that wasn’t his fiancée last night which got him wound up. They have a sleep/sex rule that allows Danny to wake her up while having sex with her. After getting up this morning Danny went downstairs, came back up, and planned to have sleep/sex with her, but she was wide away. That means she has to full participate. However she said no. That’s breaking code! After clarification she said yes to sex, but no participating. Not good enough for Danny. He wanted her to offer up participation, but he wasn’t going to need it. It’s all about the principal. She was disinterested, so Danny told her to pretend to be asleep, which she did. This is bad foreplay. After everything was finished Danny was taking the trash out and said ‘Thank you!’ Maybe not the best goodbye. He was met with a less than thrilled reaction from Amy. As he was walking down the street Danny ran into a girl that recognized him and was excited. He greeted her with a request for a cigarette. She then told him she didn’t and that he wasn’t good at meeting girls. He gave her a ‘Thank you’ too.
6:23 – Jim calls to say that keeping your mouth shut with women gets your further. True, however Amy made the sleep/sex rule. Danny’s mistake was his goodbye and defining today’s sex. Zoli calls to say he’d like to know what really goes on in Danny’s head. All the honey will go to your thighs. That’s what’s going on in there now. 6:36 – SPORTS: The Phillies head into the Bronx as the defending World Series champs, but they will need to be on top of their game because the Yankees are playing their best ball of the season. Although the Phils have won six of their last seven, all on the road.
His latest Yardbarker blog Donovan McNabb could raise some eyebrows because of his thoughts on a few subjects. In a short entry D-Mac said that his prayers go out to Jim Johnson as the Eagles defensive coordinator battles cancer and gave a shout out to disgraced QB Michael Vick. "I am happy that Michael Vick has served his time and will now be afforded the opportunity to move on with his life," wrote McNabb. "I’m sure he will continue to be remorseful and will learn from his experiences."
SI: What's your least favorite city to visit?
Chris Cooley: Philly. I really don't like Philly. I got a cheesesteak the first time I went there, but other than that, there's just nothing exciting about Philly.
SI: Which city has the most rabid fans?
Chris Cooley: Philly. We got eggs thrown at our bus when we came into town last season.
Los Angeles is town to hate, not Philly. We’ve got culture and history.
7:06 – News with Shila:
A teacher from North Penn High School has been arrested for having inappropriate sexual relations with a student. Authorities say a female math teacher, who is 36, admitted to having an ongoing sexual relationship with one of her 11th grade students. The student told police the relationship began in April and included sexual conversations on the phone and on Facebook. Authorities say the teacher and the student engaged in sexual acts in her classroom and had sex with the student off school grounds. Through further investigation, they she was allegedly involved sexually with another student. She denies those allegations. The alleged teacher apparently has a face book where she is friends with many of her students and she describes herself as a proud parent and Christian who enjoys writing songs and teaching math. Danny can’t get upset for the kid, but he thinks the teacher is a dumb whore. Putting it in writing is a bad mistake.
Police in Montgomery County have arrested a woman for sexually assaulting and providing alcohol to two 13-year-old boys. The woman also admitted knowingly having sex with one of the 13 year olds. During the investigation, it became apparent that another adult in the house became aware of the assault taking place and attempted to take pictures of the act with a cell phone camera, but when the woman found out, she quickly deleted them. The woman was arraigned on $25,000 bail, she is charged with statutory sexual assault, furnishing alcohol to minors, and a slew of other charges.
A Philadelphia man was so obsessed with his ex-girlfriend that he left her thousands of disturbing text and voice-mail messages in a 12-day period, including 260 in a single day. The sheer volume of calls and texts that Brian K. Moore is alleged to have made on that one day would mean that, on average, he called or texted his ex every 5 1/2 minutes in a 24-hour period. Moore, 39, was arrested Tuesday at his Center City workplace and charged with harassment, stalking, terroristic threats and violating a protection-from-abuse order. The victim, who is in her 30s, has 18-month-old twins with Moore and lives in Upper Darby. Shila has lots of knowledge about restraining orders. She never filed one, but maybe she had one filed against her. She’s that kind of girl.
A New Mexico mother playing with her children at a park spotted a little black sneaker sticking out of the sand underneath the playground equipment. When she went to go pick it up, she discovered it was a body of a 3 year old toddler. After much investigation, police arrested the young mother of the child on murder charges. Albuquerque police said Tiffany Toribio, 23, confessed to suffocating her 3-year-old son, Tyruss "Ty" Toribio, as he slept on the climbing gym. Toribio was homeless and sleeping in the park, having been kicked out of her mother's home and a friend's apartment in the days before her son's death because she was ignoring the boy and withholding affection, investigators said. Acccording to Police, Tiffany said that she did not want him to grow up with no one caring about him the same way that she had grown up with no one caring about her.
A Utah boy is trying to get into the record books by covering his face with live snails. Eleven-year-old boy named Fin allowed 43 of the slimy mollusks to be put on his face Saturday. He wants the Guinness World Records to verify his effort. The Guinness web site says the record set in 2007 for snails on the face for 10 seconds is eight. The boy says he has since learned the record was 36. Fin made three attempts on Saturday. Sitting back in a reclining chair, snails gathered from neighbors' gardens were carefully placed on his face. Those that remained for at least 10 seconds were counted. His family is sending witness statements, video and media coverage to Guinness this week.
7:26 – Janet, a mother of five, invites Danny to the Eagles/Redskins game at the Linc so he can taunt the Skins with her. She sits by the tunnel and loves to scream mean things at the Skins. She’s got a bit of a mischievous streak and Danny likes that. 7:36 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
Jay got engaged on Valentine’s Day and then won $800,000 from the lottery. Should he get a prenup? She has a decent case for half that money now because of the engagement. It’s a promise of community property. Danny used to think prenups were unromantic. Split the winnings in half and there’s a lot less money. Suggest a prenup and see if it flies. Danny stayed in a bad marriage because he and his wife didn’t want to bust up the cash in the bank.
Tony is recently divorced because his wife was partying too much. He put in a court order to get the kids, but she filled out a report that he was molesting the kids. Completely untrue. This woman is capable of anything. This mark could follow Tony anywhere, he should be extremely careful. Allegations of sexual abuse make her dangerous, maybe dangerous to harm her own children to make Tony look bad. Danny’s first wife, the Japanese girl, called the police saying that Danny was hitting her. He got home the same time the cops got there and they walked in on her beating herself with a rice paddle.
Chris’s wife suffers from depression. He caught her out drinking with another guy, but denied anything happened. Get out! Cut and run.
7:55 – McG, director of the new Terminator: Salvation movie is on the show. Check out what he has to say about working with Christian Bale, the rise of machines and being wierd here -
8:05 – Entertainment News:
Green Day refuse to clean up their act for the country's largest retailer. Despite having the No. 1 album on the charts right now, if you look for the disc at Walmart you will be out of luck. Walmart has a long standing policy of not carrying CDs with objectionable language or content and often artist are forces to offer the retailer a "clean" version of their album if they want it to be sold at Walmart stores. Green Day refused to clean up their 21st Century Breakdown album. "They want artists to censor their records in order to be carried in there," frontman Billie Joe Armstrong said. "We just said no. We've never done it before. You feel like you're in 1953 or something."
Less than a month after Sean Penn filed for legal separation from wife Robin Wright Penn, the papers have been dismissed. A rep for the “Milk” actor said the papers, which Penn filed on April 24 in Marin County, Calif., citing “irreconcilable differences,” have been “dismissed and taken out of the system.” Eventually you go from romantic to indecisive jerk. This verges on stupidity.
Many found it odd that on Wednesday's results show Ryan Seacrest failed to announce the voting margin that separated the two competitors, and it sounds like they did it to spare Adam. Billy Bush reports that "a source at the top" told him it was a landslide. Wrote Billy on Twitter, "Votes were NOT close ... IE kris blew out adam lambert." Interesting fact on American Idol this year...it drew the smallest "American Idol" finale audience since 2004. Preliminary figures showed an estimated 28.8 million people watched the two-hour finale of the popular TV singing contest down from 32 million last year. While still America's most watched TV show, "American Idol" audiences have slipped to an average 26.3 million per twice weekly episode over the five-month broadcast, compared to a 2006 high of about 30.8 million. Could this be a backlash against the ambiguous Adam Lambert? Danny thinks that the Kris Allen fans voted more and the Lambert fans were cocky and didn’t vote because they thought he had it won.
8:28 – Bradley Cooper is in the studio. He was in Wedding Crashers and he has a new movie The Hangover coming out soon. It’s about three guys who to go Vegas, have too a good time and have to find the groom. Mike Tyson’s in the movie and Brad liked working with him. Mike Tyson air drumming to ‘In the Air Tonight’ is worth the price of admission. Brad’s not a black out drinker, Danny’s had many blackouts. He woke up married twice and woke up naked with no front teeth in a phone booth once too. He also woke up in a strange car in his driveway, which means that he probably stole the car. Brad played a great jerk in Wedding Crashers, in The Hangover he’s the ringleader of fun. Making movies is a lot of work, but The Hangover was a lot of fun. Bradley grew up in Jenkintown, so he’ll be staying with his folks tonight, hang out with some high school friends, and get a cheesesteak from Pats. Nice. The Hangover hits theaters on June 5th.
8:50 – Danny was so struck by Bradley Cooper’s handsomeness that the interview was a blur. Shila is smitten with him. After crushing on one of the guitar players from Fosterchild last week Shila could be the worst whore on earth. Danny’s daughter is getting close to the age when boys start to be cute. It hasn’t happened yet. Danny’s come across a list of texting acronyms being used by some teens across the country.
P911 – Parent Alert
PAW – Parents Are Watching
IMEZ – I’m Easy.
RUH – Are You Horny?
TDTM – Talk Dirty To Me
DUSL – Do You Scream Loud?
IWSN – I Want Sex Now
GNOC – Get Nake On Camera
GYPO – Get Your Pants Off
FMLTWIA – F Me Like The Whore I Am. That’s the text Shila’s going to send to Bradley Cooper.
8:59 – Danny from Fosterchild is on the phone to ask why Shila demoted him from ‘hot’ to ‘cute.’ Maybe they can start things off slow with G-Rated texts. Is he into open relationships? He’s in a band, of course he is.
9:08 - One Nut Wonder
Danny give two names, one of them is operating with only one testicle. Get it right and Danny’s sending you to UFC 101 at the Wachovia Center on August 8th.
Napoleon or Joseph Stalin – Napoleon Craig Ferguson or Tom Greene – Tom Greene Former Senators Larry Craig or Frank Church – Frank Church Mike Lowell or Scott Rolen – Mike Lowell
9:32 – News with Shila:
The President of the Philadelphia Fire Department Historical Corporation presented John J. Holstein with the 2009 "Fire Service Paramedic of the Year." The ceremony took place Thursday morning at Fireman's Hall Museum on 2nd Street. Officials say, "Fire Service Paramedic Holstein was selected for the prestigious award for his dedicated service and superior performance in the line of duty. He has demonstrated initiative and resourcefulness over twenty years while providing emergency medical services to the public."
Consumers in the United States may have to hand over nearly $2 more for a case of beer to help provide health insurance for all. Details of the proposed beer tax are currently being looked at. Beer taxes would go up by 48 cents a six-pack, wine taxes would rise by 49 cents per bottle, and the tax on hard liquor would increase by 40 cents per fifth. Proceeds from the new taxes would help cover an estimated 50 million uninsured Americans. There might be a new tax on soda and other sugary drinks blamed for contributing to obesity. However, no taxes on diet drinks. Danny wishes cigarettes were $900 a pack so it would make him quit.
Police in Memphis are searching for the woman who hurled her 2 month old nephew at a security guard in an attempt to escape a Wal-Mart after she was suspected of shoplifting. The infant, seated in a carrier, fell onto the concrete floor. The suspect then threw the baby at a good Samaritan who tried to tend to the infant. The woman ran from the store and fled in a blue Ford Escort, leaving the baby and the baby's mother behind. Thankfully, the baby was not seriously injured. Child hurling is HUGE in Finland.
Meanwhile, at another Wal-Mart in Missouri, two women pulled off an elaborate theft and didn't have to resort to any baby-throwing to escape. Police say one of the women posed as a Wal-Mart employee - complete with uniform - and the other posed as a customer. The two made off with a 52-inch, flat-screen Samsung TV worth $1,300. The duo were such good liars that they even got some real Wal-Mart employees to help load the TV on a cart!
Two New Zealanders whose bank mistakenly deposited $6.1 million into their account took some of the money and ran, police said. Authorities launched an international search for the couple, who operated a gas station. The two applied to their bank for a $6,000 overdraft, but 1,000 times that amount was paid into their account. The two then withdrew some of the money and disappeared. The bank said it was human error and was responsible for making the couple accidental millionaires. The bank said in a statement it was "pursuing vigorous criminal and civil action to recover the stolen money." If Danny was one of those people he’d take off in a boat so it would be harder to find him.
Shila went through a week’s worth of news without an error. Danny loses the bet. However Andy Bloom, the big man in charge here at the station, wants to go through the tapes so that it’s on the level. Shila says she’d feel weird if she took Danny’s money and wouldn’t take it.
9:57 – Danny hasn’t taken a three day weekend in a long time, so Monday morning while we’re all listening to the Best of Danny Bonaduce he’ll be feeling out of place.
Danny Bonaduce 05/21/09
6:02 – Shila’s at the station, but not in the studio when Danny says hello to her. Does it count against her in their bet? Danny thinks so. If she can get through this week without any major mess ups while reading news and entertainment reports, Danny has to give her $20,000. If she loses she has to clean Danny’s house in her lingerie for a week. Shila says she went back to the show office to get the brownies she brought for the show. Danny declines the brownies because he’s watching his figure. Danny wants to see some naked aerobics after his Buns of Steel workout this morning. Oh, Danny didn’t work out this morning, he just watched a workout. It’s a preview for tomorrow’s workout!
6:09 – Mark, the guy that wants to fight Danny is on the phone, wants to know when the boxing match is. Danny finds him boring and dull. Danny will give him his shot when he’s good and ready. He’s in the driver’s seat, not Mark. He wants originality, not the same stuff from Mark. Mark spackles for a living, he needs to spackle his mouth shut. Tom calls to ask Danny to just do the fight so he doesn’t have to hear from Mark again. Danny has a new puppet and his name is Mark.
6:27 – SPORTS: It wasn’t Jamie Moyer’s fault the Phillies’ five-game winning streak skidded to a screeching halt Wednesday night. The Fightin' Philes dropped the game against the Reds 5-1.
The wife of Arizona Diamondbacks relief pitcher Scott Schoeneweis was found dead yesterday at the family’s home in Arizona. The body of Gabrielle Schoeneweis, 39, was discovered on the floor of the master bedroom by the couple’s 14-year-old daughter. An autopsy will be performed to determine the cause of death. It has to be traumatic to find your mother dead as a teenage girl. The only reason Gretchen is still alive is because Danny doesn’t want to traumatize Isabella. 6:39 – Danny was married to a waif, now he’s engaged to a normal sized girl. Is it fair to divorce someone if they pack on the pounds after marriage? Let’s say a girl that was 120 pounds blows up to 220 after two years. When do you give her talks and get them to bring it down? Is cheating permitted? Danny never needs an excuse to cheat. Ronnie, a woman, calls to say that everyone puts on weight, but if they chunk up after warnings then go ahead and cheat. Shila and Metro disagree with Danny’s point of view, the vows of marriage are for life. However it is a license for divorce. Shila thinks that leaving someone as the approach morbid obesity could push them over the edge and kill them.
Ray thinks that it’s an addiction and support is something you need. Shawn, another woman with a man’s name, thinks that marriage is for better or for worse. Lou says that there has to be something wrong with the relationship that opens the door for one of the people in the relationship to go that far. Danny wants to hear from some cheaters. Chris’s wife put on weight and complained about it until he threw a phone book down and told her to find a gym and do something about it. Tim’s cut off point is 50 pounds, anything after that and he’s out. Steve agrees with Danny, he was the fat one at the beginning of the relationship. He’s lost weight as his wife has put on weight and killed cupcakes like it’s her job. Bill says no to cheating. Just get handy with the situation.
7:10 – News with Shila:
Four students from a Bucks County high school were hospitalized after police say they took anti-psychotic drugs. Students from William Tennent High School took an unspecified anti-psychotic drug and as a precautionary measure, the students were taken to an area hospital by ambulance for treatment. They are dong fine. Danny was in rehab with Jason Mewes, who plays Jay from Jay & Silent Bob from the Kevin Smith movies. He was gnarly addict. Danny decided to have some fun and told a nurse that he took Jason’s meds, which caused an uproar. Jason was so bad off that the meds they had to give him to keep from getting sick would kill a guy like Danny. Last time he saw Jason he was looking great.
A 50,000 pound whale washed ashore along a beach in Southern Delaware Wednesday afternoon. Someone discovered the 37-foot dead whale in Dewey beach, which according to experts, has been dead for days. Researchers are trying to determine the cause of death. That whale should have gotten on a water treadmill to lose some weight.
Authorities launched a nationwide search yesterday for a mother and her 13-year-old son who fled after refusing chemotherapy that doctors say could save the cancer-stricken boy's life. An arrest warrant has been issued for Colleen Hauser and ruled her in contempt of court. Colleen’s son Daniel, who has Hodgkin's lymphoma, apparently left their southern Minnesota home sometime a doctor's appointment revealed Daniel's tumor had grown. Authorities said the two were seen as recently as Tuesday morning in Southern California and might be headed to Mexico to seek alternative treatment for Daniel's cancer. Daniel has a highly curable form of Hodgkin's lymphoma, but he quit chemotheraphy treatments after one session. Citing "religious beliefs," Daniel and his parents opted for "alternative medicines." The Hausers are Roman Catholic and also believe in the "do no harm" philosophy of a Missouri-based religious group that believes in natural healing methods advocated by some Native Americans. Since Daniel is a minor the state can make him get treatment. If he was 18 it could be considered a suicide attempt, but most likely they’d lose that battle. The line of church and state is blurred on this one.
A doctor in rural Australia used a handyman's power drill to drill a hole into the boy’s skull with a severe head injury in order to save his life. Nicholas Rossi fell off his bike hitting his head on the pavement. He was not wearing a helmet. When he got home, Nicholas complained of a headache and his mother, Karen, a nurse, took him to the hospital. At the hospital, Dr. Rob Carson realized the boy was suffering from bleeding on the brain, which can be fatal, and knew he had to make a hole in the boy's skull to relieve the pressure. But the small hospital was not equipped with neurological drills — so Carson sent for a household drill from the maintenance room. Carson drilled until a blood clot fell out and continued to treat Nicholas until he could be airlifted an hour later to Melbourne's Royal Children's Hospital. Danny digs that story. High tech medicine beaten by a power tool! 7:35 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
Bob’s future ex-wife won’t sign the divorce papers. They don’t have kids together, there are no lawyers involved. Danny says to set a court date after she signed a legal document and then changed her mind. If she doesn’t show, he wins and she’ll possibly be held in contempt.
Patty has an issue with a self-absorbed coworker. Danny hates that! Patty wants to leave, but she can’t stand the woman. They do the same job, but Patty is stressed and less productive because of all the chatter. The annoying woman doesn’t curse though. So Danny suggests going to human resources and complain about being badgered, but be brief about it so they can do the dirty work for her. It’ll go on her permanent record.
Stacy is pregnant and her boss has posted an ad for her job. He says that he wants someone with more experience. She never told him she was pregnant, but word spread around. She never told him she was pregnant, but when confronting him about the listing she did tell him. She knows that he was told about the pregnancy from a third party though. Danny thinks that it’s wrong for a place of business to discriminate against a pregnant woman.
7:51 – Mr. Skin is in the studio and Danny is amazed at how handsome he is. He’s not a fat nerd that lives in his mom’s basement. He’s the foremost authority of female nudity in cinema. What about naked men? Because he loves his job and it’s not really work. He’s in Philly for a short time and thought he’d put together a list of the top 5 nude scenes from women born in Philly.
5
Doylestown’s Pink from a concert DVD where she gets her nipple pierced.
4
Norristown’s Maria Bello from The Cooler.
3
Philadelphia’s Kim Delany. Danny stopped watching NYPD Blue once he saw Dennis Franz’s ass.
2
Philadelphia’s Linda Fiorantino from Jade. She was great in Vision Quest and The Last Seduction.
1
Philadelphia’s Kelly Monaco. Danny’s impressed by her body of work.
8:07 – News with Shila:
Green Day’s latest concept-driven album "21st Century Breakdown," which was released off-cycle on a Friday rather than the typical Tuesday, sold 214,000 copies through Sunday, making it the number one selling album in the country.
New crowned American Idol Kris Allen beamed with disbelief, shook his head as if to reject that this was really happening and doubled over in shock. The fact that he'd just beaten rollicking vocal powerhouse Adam Lambert for the "American Idol" title wasn't going to sink in quickly for the unassuming underdog from Arkansas. Danny was surprised that Adam didn’t win. Danny thinks that the number of votes from the finale is a condemnation of America. Last night Danny learned about a fish that can switch genders while the rest of the nation watched Adam Lambert perform with KISS. Danny theorizes that the second place finishers on Idol go on to better careers.
Olivia Wilde is not only one of television's hottest break-out stars, but she is also the woman Megan Fox has described as “so sexy, she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox.” While it has to be quite an honor, Wilde, 25, says she is a little skeptical of the recent girl-crush fad, but is passionate about animal rights and willing to do what it takes to keep them safe. Megan Fox needs to stop talking. Her mouth has a purpose and it’s not to say dumb things. 8:37 – Who Would Win In A Fight: Terminator or RoboCop?
Metro takes the Terminator because it’s all machine and no man. Shila takes the Terminator too. Terminators are killing machines programmed to kill that won’t stop, RoboCop is a good guy who overrides his programming to be nice. Danny takes RoboCop because he has missles! Does the Terminator have superior technology? It is from the future. But RoboCop comes with bigger, badder weapons.
8:47 – Brady calls to take Terminator because Robocop is too slow and always gets torn up. Tim takes RoboCop because of his training. Lorenzo goes with RoboCop because of his cunning mind. Phil takes RoboCop because Terminator couldn’t kill Sarah Conner. Andy takes RoboCop because he comes with weapons, Terminator has to find his. Frank takes Terminator because he’s tough to kill, while RoboCop was chopped up and dumped in front of a police station. Ron calls to correct Danny about weapons on RoboCop, he just has a spike-hand and gun that comes out of his leg. Pat takes Terminator because it’s Schwarzenegger vs. Weller. Running out time with Jesse James coming up Danny runs though a bunch of calls for RoboCop. By one vote on the phones RoboCop is in the line, but with 64% of the text vote for Terminator, the killing machine from the future wins.
9:07 – Jesse James is on the line. Danny tried to get a hold of him once to work on his convertible Impala. Is Danny interested in selling it? Danny, knowing that Sandra Bullock is Jesse’s wife, wants to know who the rich one is. Jesse is because he has Sandraw. Awwww! Jesse has a new show on Spike TV, Jesse James Must Die, that puts his life at extreme risk. Jesse does stuff like flying in a jet at 9 G’s. Riding a motorcycle into the Arctic Circle. That was a cold one. Jesse’s microwave broke down the other day so he tore it apart and fixed it. Impressive. He just opened up burger joint around the corner from his shop that’s eco-friendly and has tasty burgers. Jesse lets Danny know that Harley Sportsters are for women, it’s time to drop a Softtail. Danny likes to get through traffic, that’s not going to happen on a fatboy.
9:32 – News with Shila:
It seemed like a fairy tale romance for Connie Lee and Brian who met on a Christian website. She thought he was perfect, but it turned out things were too good to be true. But that feeling didn't last long as it became clear to Connie Lee that her husband Brian wasn't the man she thought he was. In fact, she says, Brian was having an affair, and even more shockingly with another man. This is probably a big deal because of the Craigslist Killer. Danny married a girl so she could stay in the country. She’s done well selling real estate in New York since their divorce.
An Omaha couple is allowing their 8-year-old son to openly live life as a girl. It’s a decision that means the child is no longer able to attend Catholic school. Therapists and the child’s parents say the second grade student is transgender, a medical condition where a person’s inner sense of identity doesn’t match their biological gender. Some gender experts say as many as one in 500 people may be transgender or carry significant traits of the opposite sex. This could be trouble for the boys at the new school who think the boy is really a girl. Danny knows that from experience. There’s not enough counseling to allow an 8 year-old boy to dress as a girl. Danny has no issues with transgender people; the fight he got into years ago was over money. This might have to be a case of homeschooling, which could be the best option for all involved.
A gun teacher in Michigan showed his students exactly what not to do. The 74-year-old concealed weapons teacher accidentally shot a student in the face during a demonstration! He discharged a bullet from a .38-caliber Smith and Wesson revolver, which bounced off a table and struck the 52-year-old student. The teacher told police he thought the gun was loaded with plastic bullets. The student will be fine.Jon-Erik Hexum, an actor that had a promising career, shot himself on the set of Cover Up while playing with a prop gun that discharged and killed him. Brandon Lee also died of accidental gunshot wound from faulty prop revolver.
9:50 – Spike is fired up about last night’s American Idol. As much as he dislikes Adam Lambert, he thinks that Adam deserved to win.
9:58 - Danny’s Final Thought: When you think Kenny Florian’s name is Patty O’Furniture you’ve been hit in the head too many times.
Danny Bonaduce 05/20/09
6:01 – Shila’s hooters are getting bigger? She’s noticed that they’re growing. Danny is an erogenous zone expert! No matter what girl he’s with, Danny wants the woman to finish before he starts. Apparently behind the knees is a hot spot. Danny shows Shila first hand. She hasn’t changed anything in her diet to affect her chest, but she is weary very low cut pants, which Danny has noticed. Shila’s gone two days error free while reading the news, if she has 3 major screw ups then she has to clean Dany’s house in lingerie. Shila feels blessed that her cups are filling, Danny’s a little bummed because he feels bloated lately. Danny got sympathy pregnant when his wife was pregnant with Isabella. Gretchen would have cravings for anything she saw on television, whatever she saw an ad for she wanted at that moment. Gretchen put on about 25 pounds while pregnant and had awful morning sickness. She was used to throwing up though; she didn’t get that thin from working out.
6:25 – Danny was watching a TV commercial for fixtures, something that he needs for his new house. One of the offers included a vibrating showerhead with a purchase. Danny thought that a woman would have more fun with a vibrating showerhead than a man. Shila’s tried to cross that line, but never finished the race. She prefers human contact; Danny’s ex-wife preferred it to him. This is the first Metro has heard of it. Matt calls to say that women he knows are fond of jets on pools and Jacuzzis. Kelly calls to agree with Shila that it doesn’t do anything for her. However she does have toys and a hand. She didn’t sexually blossom until much later in life. 6:37 – SPORTS: Cole Hamels contributed a key hit and won his second game in three starts last night as the Phillies won five straight as they beat the Reds 4-3.
NFL owners voted Tuesday to play the 2013 Super Bowl in New Orleans, the first time the championship game will be played there since Hurricane Katrina shredded parts of the Louisiana Superdome.
Michael Vick wants to work with an unlikely ally -- the Humane Society of the United States -- on a program aimed at eradicating dog fighting among urban teens. Something about making animals fight to the death doesn’t sit well with Danny. It seems worse than cruelty to another human. Whatever team signs Vick is asking for a public relations nightmare.
A Buffalo Bills fullback has been arrested for allegedly committing a lewd act outside a Port St. Lucie woman's home. According to police Corey McIntyre, 30, knocked on a woman's window while he was fondling himself. He was arrested last Thursday and charged with exposing himself.
7:06 – News with Shila:
A popular stunt often seen on the internet sent one local teen to the hospital with serious injuries. According to police, a 16-year-old in Buck County suffered severe facial injuries after a keg was tossed into a fire pit. The severe pressure from the fire caused the keg to explode and fly in various directions. The teen was struck by shrapnel from the keg explosion and was rushed to Lehigh Valley Hospital. He is expected to recover. Holy Schlitz!
A female customer suffered minor injuries during a freak accident at a tanning salon in Montgomery County. The incident happened at about 7:00 p.m. at the California Sun Tanning salon. According to police, a customer was in a standup tanning bed when a light bulb burst. The female was cut by flying glass, but she was not seriously injured and declined medical treatment. This is one of Shila’s biggest fears. Danny fears being stabbed in the neck by Amy while he sleeps.
Scientists in New York unveiled a 47-million-year-old fossil Tuesday of what they said could be an early ancestor to humans. The monkey-like creature, officially known as Darwinius masillae, but dubbed Ida, is almost fully intact. It is only missing part of a leg. It is described as "the most complete primate fossil ever found." Though Ida had a long tail, she also had several human characteristics, including an opposable thumb, short arms and legs, and forward facing eyes. The fossil - which was first discovered in Germany in 1983 - was revealed at a news conference at the American Museum of Natural History in New York City, and will be the subject of a documentary airing on the History Channel Monday night.
A 4-year-old California boy may be permanently blinded after police say his father bit out one of his eyes and mutilated the other. Police say 34-year-old Angel Mendoza appeared to be under the influence of PCP when he attacked the boy back on April 28. Afterwards, Mendoza rolled his wheelchair outside and began hacking at his own legs with an ax. Four-year-old Angelo Mendoza Jr. told police, "my daddy ate my eyes." Doctors at Mercy Hospital say it's unclear whether Angelo will regain vision in his right eye.
A frisky couple in Ohio decided to get busy in their car's front seat, while their two young children sat in the back! Danica Wallace and Jeremy Welch were arrested Friday after cops caught them with their pants down. Welch was extremely intoxicated and offered police a simple explanation for their behavior: "We got horny and just wanted to f---!" Wallace, who was driving a Ford Taurus, also failed a series of sobriety tests, but she claimed to have only consumed a 22-ounce bottle of Budweiser. Wallace's children, ages four and 22 months, were turned over to a friend. The four year-old might have clear memories, but the 22 month-old probably won’t.
7:27 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
Mark wrote Danny a letter that his father drinks too much and sometimes tries to get physical. Mark’s issue is that he’s on the high school basketball team and doesn’t want to change schools if he reports his father and has to move in with his aunt. The answer? Emancipation. Make an agreement with the father to not send him to jail, but have to get a few jobs and get roommates. It’s not easy, but that’s the answer. Danny was emancipated at 14. He had issues with his father and still lived at home with his father, but the relationship wasn’t easy. It was like living with a rattle snake. David Cassidy didn’t do anything to save his life, he just pushed for Danny to get emancipated because he was tired of waiting around the set while the make up artists covered up his black eyes.
Dave calls to ask about sleeping with a coworker. Not a good idea. It will cause issues after the break up and she’s going out with someone new. Chicks can get vicious if they feel like they’ve been taken advantage of. At best it could ruin what used to be a good job. 7:53 – Name That Out of Tune!
Danny has a recording of a song from his out of tune player piano; the first person that can correctly identify the song wins Penn & Teller tickets.
She Loves You – The Beatles
8:05 – Entertainment News:
Shila is seconds late to the studio, Danny wants to count it as one of her three errors in their bet. Metro’s on Shila’s side because it means a free dinner for him. They’ll appeal to the program director for a judgment.
Shawn Johnson is adding a mirrorball trophy to her collection of Olympic medals. The 17-year-old gymnast was named "Dancing With the Stars" champion Tuesday during the season finale of the hit ABC show. The winning couple held the mirrorball trophy aloft as the rest of the contestants rushed out to greet them, hoisting them into the air as sparkling confetti flew. "This has been the best experience ever," Johnson said after her victory. "I've grown so much."
Gwyneth Paltrow is said to be furious with her 'Iron Man 2' co-star Scarlett Johansson for hogging the limelight on the sets of 'Iron Man 2'. Paltrow, 36, is once again playing the part of Pepper Potts, assistant to comic book hero Tony Stark, played by Robert Downey Jr, in the second sequel. "Gwyneth has become very frustrated with Scarlett. They come from different worlds and have completely different styles. Danny speculates that it’s not that Paltrow is jealous of Johansson’s looks, but she’s just used to being treated like royalty.
"American Idol" finalists Kris Allen and Adam Lambert strutted their stuff in search of votes for the last time on Tuesday in a TV show singing contest host Ryan Seacrest dubbed "the guy next door versus the 'guyliner.'" Danny thinks that Lambert is the Yanni of singers, he’s good, but he doesn’t want to hear him. He’s certain that Lambert’s gonna make mad cash and sells lots of albums. Mike calls to say that Lambert has talent, unlike some bands that are selling out arenas today. Lambert might have a great voice, but Danny doesn’t want to hear it. Shila thinks the judges can get carried away with the praise though, swaying votes.
Colleen calls to say she likes Adam. Steve thinks that Lambert is a step away from looking like he’s in Cinderella. Jack thinks that Lambert could stand in for Freddie Mercury. Julie agrees that the judges are trying to sway votes. No matter what Paula Abdul is still wacky. After hearing some of Kris’s performance from last night Danny is NOT impressed.
8:35 – F MY LIFE
Shila’s mom called to ask her if she’s still a virgin after one of her friends called her up after hearing Shila talk about her sex life. F My Life.
Jennifer ‘s husband’s been out of work for four months, spending cash on whores and strip clubs. F My Life.
Zack tried to call his friend and ended up calling the show. F My Life.
Zoli woke up late this morning, walked the dogs and didn’t get to the bathroom in time. F My Life.
Rachel moved out of her house and now the jerk of a landlord is taking her to court over things she didn’t do to the house. F My Life.
Ray has been raising his two kids by himself for five years and now he blew out his Achilles tendon. F My Life.
Sean was getting divorced and wanted to work out a financial arrangement with the mother of her son and agreed to give up half his salary. Now she’s going after him although he’s all paid up and it’s going to cost him money to miss work and go to court to prove it. F My Life.
Michelle separated from her husband who then tried to kill himself, now he’s stalking her and making everything she does difficult. She starts to break down and tear up when talking about how much she likes the show. F My Life.
Zack called earlier and got a ‘maybe’ from Shila. F My Life.
9:05 – Danny saw Mike Tyson on Jimmy Kimmel last night, he finds Tyson fascinating. It’s got to be tough to bite off an ear with a mouthguard in. He loves Tyson as a fighter, one of the best ever. Tyson’s really calming down later in life, but he still has an annoying voice. A movie with Tyson and Marly Matlin would be absurd. He’s gotten a bit chubby since his prime, fighters usually starve themselves before weigh ins and then gorge before the fight. He blew through $250 million dollars and all he has left to show for it is a tattoo on his face.
9:30 – News with Shila:
Ocean City, which calls itself "America's Greatest Family Resort," has a new title: New Jersey's best beach. The Cape May County resort topped this year's list of best beaches as determined by voters and coastal scientists. The city's eight-mile beach has long been among New Jersey's most popular, and the fact that alcohol is not sold in town helps attract those looking for a more peaceful vacation. Danny thinks that dry counties make you drink more because it’s not as readily available, so you stock up and kill it faster. Danny used to drink pints, but switched to liters because it was more convenient. Danny once took a cruise to Tahiti and brought a suitcase of booze with him. He doesn’t remember anything from that trip.
The runner-up was Long Beach Island (its six municipalities were judged as a single entry). The rest of the top 10: Wildwood (last year's top winner); Wildwood Crest; Asbury Park; North Wildwood; Cape May; Seaside Heights; Sea Isle City; and Avalon.
A fire chief in northeastern Pennsylvania says a small plane is stuck in a tree about 20 feet above the ground but nobody knows who was flying it. A woman in a kayak saw the single-engine Piper on Tuesday morning and she had not seen it the day before, so she alerted authorities. This sounds made up to Danny.
The principal of a Utah middle school has been asked to apologize for forcing a kilt-wearing student to change his clothes. The principal has been asked to extend an apology to 14-year-old Gavin McFarland because Gavin wore a kilt twice in the past two weeks to Rocky Mountain Junior High as a prop for an art project. The principal told the boy that the outfit could be misconstrued as cross-dressing. The district recognizes the kilt as an expression of the boy's Scottish heritage and that the kilt was not inappropriate. Danny hates bagpipes, Shila likes them. Michael Phelps LOVES pipes!
Four men from New York failed to keep their criminal records clean by stealing hundreds of dollars worth of shampoo from a Pennsylvania CVS! 4 people all in their 20s allegedly stole 35 bottles of various types of shampoo, worth about $742! Store employees alerted police and gave an accurate description of the suspects' getaway car. When police found them, one of the men still had 10 bottles of shampoo shoved down his pants. The rest of the bottles were found in the trunk of the car. Police said the men may have stolen the shampoo to later re-sell the bottles at corner markets.
9:56 – Danny’s Final Thought: This one goes out to Shila. One of the few girls I know that can not finish with a pulsating shower head, gets called at 28 years of age by her mother asking if she’s still a virgin, and she threatens me by playing bagpipes at her wedding. Once again, holding my breath for that moment to come.
Danny Bonaduce Show 05/19/09
6:01 – Danny has recovered from last night’s fight with his fiancée, Amy, but now there’s a new one. Metro’s girlfriend started a new job yesterday, so she had to work late and put Metro in charge of dinner. When she got home she decided she wasn’t hungry and was going to take it to work for lunch the next day. That set Metro off. After laboring over a meal made with love he was insulted and told her to eat the chicken. After screaming and tears she ate the chicken. The chicken wasn’t the only thing that got stuffed that night. With her new hours Metro could be in charge of dinner every night, that’s trouble. Danny watched I Am Legend last night, not impressed. Sometimes when being intimate with his fiancée Amy, she and Danny will break out into cute giggle fits and make each other laugh. Amy broke out into laughter by herself, which made him feel awkward. She let him know that the laughs were from conversation they had earlier in the day about the Hawaiian Islands. The second fight is because he quit smoking cigarettes today. Amy confirmed that Danny was quitting later today, when he was ready to stop this morning. So she gave him permission to sneak a few cigarettes in today before ‘later today’ begins. Shila thinks that it’s a gray area and might not be Amy’s fault. Danny needs life cigarettes, his lungs haven’t been the same since his bout with pneumonia. 6:37 – SPORTS: Philadelphia Eagles defensive coordinator Jim Johnson has been excused from workouts for rookies and selected veterans this week because of a new round of cancer treatments, the club said on Monday.
Fresh off getting fired by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Jon Gruden was hired to replace Tony Kornheiser on "Monday Night Football" this season. The swap came after Kornheiser cited a fear of flying in his decision to leave after three years.
Los Angeles Lakers guard Derek Fisher has won an extended restraining order against a woman he says stalked and harassed him. A Los Angeles judge on Monday granted a three-year extension of an order issued last month against Symone Fisher. The 40-year-old woman is barred from contact with Fisher or his family until May 2012. If you’re being stalked by a woman with the last name Fisher, doesn’t that mean you’ll take a bullet to the face?
6:50 – WHOREMOPOLITAN! Danny pulls out a ladies’ magazine that lists the Top Places for Outside Sex.
1. In a hammock. How is that possible? Two people in a hammock is extremely uncomfortable.
2. Outside, underneath the stars. If you have a private backyard, throw down a blanket for a good time and cuddle while watching the stars afterwards. What about the cleanup?
3. Sex in a pool. Awful time. No one on the show has had a good time trying sex in a pool.
7:06 – News with Shila:
A woman was shot on her doorstep in Upper Darby yesterday. It happened around 6:15 p.m. Police say two men knocked on the door and a 38-year-old woman answered. The men asked for someone and the woman said the person was not there. Then, police say one of the men shot through the door striking the woman in the neck and shoulder. She was taken to the hospital where she is expected to recover from her injuries. Police say the men hopped into a car and fled, they remain at large. There is no word yet who the men were looking for or why. Maybe they made her stuffed chicken she didn’t eat it.
Speaking at the University of Pennsylvania's commencement, Google chairman and CEO Eric Schmidt told about 6,000 graduates that they need to find out what is most important to them and is to step away from the virtual world and make human connections. He said, "Turn off your computer. You're actually going to have to turn off your phone and discover all that is human around us. Nothing beats holding the hand of your grandchild as he walks his first steps.".Google search human connections and save the time!
Authorities said an 8th grade student at a Louisiana middle school shot himself in the head after firing the gun in a classroom Monday. The 15-year-old boy fired once around 9 a.m. inside a seventh-grade English and reading class, then went into a bathroom and shot himself. He was in critical but stable condition yesterday afternoon. Although he seemed intent on killing people, he was armed with only four bullets for the .25-caliber, semiautomatic pistol he had taken from his father's home over the weekend. Danny thinks that the gun owning father should be prosecuted for having the firearm available.
A South Jersey man is in a lot of trouble for allegedly making a disgusting mess inside a police station. Police said a 24-year-old man was at the station early Sunday with his girlfriend, 22-year-old, who had been arrested for a DUI. She had gone to pick him up at a bar where he couldn't pay his bill. Police said the man went into the men's room, defecated on the floor, smeared feces on the walls and set fire to paper towels and toilet paper. He was being held at the Camden County Jail on arson and criminal mischief charges. Danny feels bad for the cop that had to cuff him.
A Bedford, Ohio father called the cops on his grown son because the son refused to do his chores. The really humiliating part? The sloppy son is a member of the Bedford School Board! Andrew Mizsak whose 28 lives with his parents and also works as an independent political consultant. His mom is a Bedford councilwoman! Andrew’s dad, Andrew Sr., called 911 after his son threw a plate of food across the kitchen table and balled his fist up at his dad when his dad asked him to clean his room. The father told police he wouldn't press charges because he didn't want to ruin his son's political career. The son promised to keep his basement room clean and said, "My dad and I love each other very much. I'm lucky to be living in their house.”
7:30 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
Mike loves his girlfriend, but wants to have sex with every other girl he sees. Mike’s problem is that he’s a guy and this feeling is natural. The role of the male used to be to procreate so his clan was bigger and more powerful. Danny suggests Mike visit his doctor and talk to him about it and maybe get on Zoloft so his sex drive isn’t out of control. A little depression goes a long way, Danny took it for real depression and noticed his sex drive wasn’t ridiculous.
Jay is being evicted. His landlord was cutting Jay a break while he was out of work, but now he’s been working he’s three months behind and has a court date on Friday. Danny says to take the paystubs to court. Everyone’s having a tough time in this economy, the pay stubs will prove to the judge that Jay is making money and headed in the right direction.
Paul wants his girlfriend to become more adventurous in the bedroom. First off take it out of the bedroom and change locations. Change your mode of operation and moves, but have them meet her requirements. As something gets better for her she’ll be more inclined to go further. Buy her some nice lingerie, but don’t rush to take it off, leave it on and let her feel sexy.
John is having a long distance relationship with a stripper he met at a bachelor party and worries she might be cheating. Of course she’s cheating. Either prepare for it or home that when he moves in with her she stops. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Once the trust is broken it’s not easy to repair. Long distance relationships are disastrous.
7:51 – After the last Life Coach call Danny brings up the story about a woman who gave birth to twins. After 11 months the father realized that both kids weren’t his. It turns out that he was the father of only one of them. That’s intuition. She had two eggs fertilized at the same time. Shila thinks she’s a skank. This means she was having sex with two men at the same time of conception. Once when Danny was with another woman he got suspicious that his wife was onto them and thought Gretchen was waiting outside for them. So he called her in the middle of sex just to check. Awesomely awful!
A new documentary on Ozzy Osbourne will hit theaters in 2010. It's called "Wreckage Of My Past" has a newly sober Ozzy reflecting back on his nearly 60 years on this earth. The film is co-produced by Sharon Osbourne and son Jack through his new Jacko Productions company. Interviews were done for the movie with all the members of Black Sabbath, and musicians who played in Ozzy's various solo lineups. Danny’s skeptical that this will be a glowing, loving documentary. Family has a tendency to be harsher.
Well, it looks like CBS will renew the Philadelphia based Cold Case but cancel their other cop drama, Without a Trace. Meanwhile, ABC has officially dropped their cop drama The Unusuals with sources saying Samantha Who? has been cancelled as well. Finally, Fox has given the axe to Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.
"Star Trek" has been beamed aboard the International Space Station. Paramount Pictures said they transferred the movie to NASA's Mission Control in Houston. The movie was uplinked to the space station on Thursday. NASA astronaut Michael Barratt watched the film on a laptop Friday inside the Unity module. The 50-year-old astronaut said he remembered "watching the original 'Star Trek' series and, like many of my NASA co-workers, was inspired by the idea of people from all nations coming together to explore space." That’s nice, but aren’t there more pressing issues in space to take care of instead of watching movies?
TMZ claims to have confirmation that Mel Gibson's girlfriend is pregnant. Although TMZ's confirmation doesn't come from Gibson himself, sources say Oksana is in her second trimester. Gibson's wife Robyn filed for divorce on April 13th, although they had reportedly been separated for over two years.
8:34 – Noel is in the studio, she recently joined myfreeimplants.com. She's on the front page of the page, but you can slo find her on the site with her ID number 130523. Noel had three kids and breast fed them all, first at 16. Her chest is a mess at 22. Dr. Danny surveys the goods. She wants to fill out her chest to go along with what her husband calls her ‘grapefruit nipples.’ Noelle is looking for donations to help her along. She’s only raised $44 at the time of this post; she’s got some work to do. The donators can benefit from donations, Noel and some of the other girls will pose for sexy photos, but they don’t push the envelope too far.
8:52 – Kris calls to tell Noel that she commends Noel for being a good mom, but isn’t hot on posing for photos on the internet. There’s no nudity though and it’s just way to get money from the benefactor. Noel’s husband works two jobs and her parents aren’t alive anymore, so she’s got her hands full with babies. Jill calls to say she’s all for it and would love to join the site like Noel. Danny’s stepping up to donate too. Shila asks about what the guys that are member of the site ask about. Most guys are nice, but one guy asked for a video that Noel wasn’t comfortable doing. They do want to see before and after photos though.
9:05 – Jessica works for a cosmetic surgeon who has done procedures on girls who raised money from myfreeimplants.com and said it’s legit. Danny’s fiancé Amy is on the phone upset that Danny is squeezing boobs and giving away money.
It’s time to read some e-mails! First letter is from Danny’s stalker Kathy who says she has photos of she and Danny in the shower. Though he’s never been naked with Kathy, somehow she has photos. Dave writes in to say he loves the show, digs the 94WYSP.com Babe of the Day and wants ‘Shilo’ to be the Babe of the Day. She’s cool with that. Lou writes to say that he loves Who Would Win In A Fight and once called to say that Danny’s ass looked big in his bedazzled jeans. He was just kidding, because he hasn’t seen Danny’s fanny yet. A superfan, Mark, wrote a bizarre 14 page letter of dedication to Danny. What we walk away with from Mark's letter is that Danny is 'rad.' Want to send Danny an e-mail? Here's the place to do it.
9:37 – News with Shila:
Police in Gloucester Township are searching for juveniles who are responsible for shooting at least two people with BBs over the weekend. According to police, the first shooting was reported Sunday evening by a man who was shot by a BB gun while jogging in Veterans Park. The victim, who was not seriously injured, told police the BBs were shot from a passing SUV.
Delaware State Police say two men have been charged with driving under the influence for the seventh time in Delaware. Police say 45-year-old Anthony McLeish of Magnolia and 45-year-old Jeffrey Salevan of Milford were both arrested Friday in separate incidents. How were these guys still driving? Thanks jail overcrowding!
It took five months, but a Portland man has come forward to claim a $2.6 million Megabucks jackpot. He recently brought a handful of tickets to a retailer after cleaning out the glove box in his car. He chose the long term pay out. The guy must not trust himself with money. There are many stories about people going nuts with lottery money and spending it all.
A 78-year-old woman arrested last month for allegedly beating her 84-year-old husband because she believed he cheated on her several times during their marriage was charged Thursday with assault. Prosecutors said she hit him with a bowl, pipe and carpet sweeper. He suffered broken ribs, pelvis and a wrist. That bitch holds a grudge!
9:58 – Danny’s Final Thought: I’m not cocky, I’m a god!
Danny Bonaduce 05/18/09
6:03 – Danny was at an appearance over the weekend playing Guitar Hero: Metallica at the Cherry Hill Mall. Danny wasn’t doing so well and said ‘If there’s a kid here with no fingers I’ll play him!’ Danny was mortified. Turns out there was a kid that was missing digits, but he was a fan of Danny’s and asked for an autograph. Shila and Metro had a dance off Friday night at Mad River. Apparently Metro was repulsed by the smell of a woman he was dancing with. Danny and Metro also had a grand time at Delilah’s on Saturday, it was the first time that Metro’s girlfriend Aimee got a lap dance. Shila’s never felt comfortable getting the lap dances she’s had. She spends most of the time comparing her body to the dancers.
6:27 – SPORTS: In baseball, if you are to win a lot of games, you need to find a lot of ways to win. The Phillies defeated the Washington Nationals, 8-6, today, finishing a four-game sweep at Nationals Park.
J.C. Romero will begin his road back to the majors Monday when he joins the IronPigs to start a 16-day rehab assignment following his 50-game suspension for violating Major League Baseball's drug policy.
Eagles cornerback Asante Samuel joined the Twitter revolution in the last week and seems to be enjoying the interaction, especially for a guy who rarely talks to the media other than after games. Samuel has jumped right in,with his prediction for the Eagles: "this is about to be a superbowl winning season fareal."6:37 – The top 10 finalists for Neighborhood Hotties: Montgomery County have been selected. Vote now, vote often!
6:50 – Somehow Danny’s phone number has been posted in bathrooms in the area. Danny plays some of the messages he’s gotten recently. Some of them threaten violence, some of them are nice, some are people looking for jobs on the show, and some are jokes. Danny actually went out to ‘meet’ one of the guys that threatened violence, but the guy was a no show. So if you see Danny and he gives you his number, remember that at one time you liked Danny enough to ask for his digits.
7:01 – The Friday Fight guy wants to come fight Danny now. Come on up! He didn’t show last time.
7:02 – News with Shila:
Police arrested a Bensalem High School aide after a student found a threatening note directed at another teacher's aide and several .38 caliber bullets in a water fountain at the school. Danny’s not the only one receiving threats!
A massive explosion rocked the Sunoco refinery in the Marcus Hook area late Sunday night, sending flames shooting into the sky and initially raising concerns about residents' safety in Pennsylvania, Delaware and South Jersey.
A Tampa Bay mother is demanding that her daughter’s high school recall the entire yearbook for because her daughter is inadvertently exposing herself in a club picture. The daughter says she didn't wear panties to school that day because she didn't want any lines showing. The school says it's just a shadow and doesn't plan to do anything. The girl did go commando on purpose, so she knows what she’s doing. The only thing Danny sees is thunder thighs.
A new bra boosts women's cleavage when they are aroused. Slovenia-based Lisca lingerie's Smart Memory Bra alters its shape when the wearer's body temperature changes, pushing breasts closer together when a woman gets flushed after seeing someone attractive. CRAP! Danny doesn’t believe it. Shila wants to order one to see if it works. 7:32 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
Sue’s three months behind on her house payments after her husband passed away. She’s having a tough time getting the bank to work with her. Danny does some quick math and tells her that the banks don’t want to be in the real estate business and it’s not worth their time. Call their bluff Sue, but make the payments!
Sean is working a job he doesn’t like while going to school part time. Should he work the job and keep going to school part-time or switch to a job that lets him go to school full-time. Danny says to keep the job until he finds a new one, negotiate from power. Never quit your gig without another one lined up.
Nicole, who works at an attorney that represents mortgage companies calls to say that home owners assistance would be a good way for Sue to go. Danny’s quicker to pull the trigger and call their bluff though. Customer service doesn’t have the knowledge and power to take care of the issue. Loss mitigation is the section of the bank Sue wants to talk to.
7:51 – Danny is glowing with excitement. He’s discovered that mixing Skittles with vodka leads to a good time. First separate the Skittles into flavors, 60 of each flavor. It’s a good idea to get a 1 lb. bag. Setup ‘infusion bottles’ separating the different Skittles into bottles, add the vodka to the candy. The alcohol will eat the candy coating. Let the vodka dissolve the candy overnight so there’s no candy left. There will be some gunk left at the bottom, so use a coffee filter to strain the vodka. Then put the flasks in the freezer so they’re nice and chilly. Serve them on their own or mix them in with anything that sounds good. Danny tries the Skittles vodkas he mixed, but doesn’t like the taste. Shila’s alright with it. It’s a little tart though.
For this project, you’ll need:
One 1.75 liter bottle of vodka
Five 8.5 ounce flasks or bottles
One 1 pound bag of Skittles
Five empty plastic water bottles
A funnel
Bowls for separating the Skittles into flavors
A measuring cup (not pictured)
Coffee filters or paper towels
Step 1: Separate Skittles into Flavors
Start by simply separating the Skittles into flavors. You want 60 of each.
Step 2: Setting up your Infusion Bottles
Fill your water bottles with 6 ounces of vodka each. It doesn’t need to be exact - you can always even it out later by pouring in a bit more vodka to the ones that come out with less.
Step 3: Add the Skittles
Pour the Skittles of one flavor into one infusion bottle, then pour the next flavor of Skittles into the next infusion bottle, and so on until all five bottles have a pile of Skittles soaking in the vodka.
Step 4: Strain
There are a number of ways to strain this stuff and get all the white gunk out. Coffee filters work well.
Step 5: Chill and Serve
Now you’ve got 5 flasks or bottles of Skittles infused vodka: Stick them in the freezer for several hours
8:08 – Entertainment News:
A huge launch overseas helped “Angels and Demons” overcome a soft first weekend in the U.S., where “Star Trek” was hot on it heels. Sony Pictures’ $150-million Tom Hanks vehicle based on the bestselling Dan Brown novel opened to $48 million, significantly below the $77 million that "The Da Vinci Code" grossed on its first weekend three years ago. Although nobody in the industry was predicting “Angels" would beat its predecessor, given that the book sold fewer than half as many copies and there was much less public controversy, pre-release tracking had indicated it would open closer to $60 million.
Natalie Portman is firmly denying swirling rumors that she is romantically linked to "Milk" star Sean Penn, who recently filed for legal separation from his wife Robin Wright Penn after 13 years of marriage.
A professional mistress alleged to have had an affair with Gordon Ramsay has made a surprise appearance on the season finale of Hell’s Kitchen filling out a survey card. Sarah Symonds popped up last night on the chef's TV show which was recorded during the exact period she claimed the two were having a fling. What did she write? The food wasn’t that good, but I enjoyed the secret sauce.
ABC on Friday renewed veteran medical comedy "Scrubs" for a ninth season. Star Zach Braff is set to come back for six episodes to transition the show to its new set-up showcasing a mix of original cast members and some of the interns introduced this past season, its first on ABC after a seven-year run on NBC. Danny’s been on Scrubs playing a pizza delivery guy because he owned a restaurant across the street from where the show is shot.
Brooke Shields is accusing the National Enquirer of some dirty tricks involving her ailing mother. The actress claims a reporter with the tabloid checked 75-year-old Teri Shields, who suffers from dementia, out of her nursing room on Thursday by posing as a friend. "I intend to take every lawful action against all who were involved or who authorized this despicable act," Brooke Shields said in a statement.
Shila takes her shot of red vodka. Woo! She can taste the rainbow now!
8:33 – The guy that wanted to punch Danny is running late. Danny doesn’t want him to be late for work and get fired. The answer? Set something up so that everyone can make money! Danny doesn’t want to be a bully, he wants to be the good guy with lots of money.
The Art of Manliness: What To Do When A Bigger Guy Is Hitting On Your Girl
The scenario Danny takes is from Animal House when big guys come to ask if it’s okay they dance with the girls. First option is flight, get out of there. Second option is to get a waiter, asking first and last name for legal reasons, and ask the employee to escort them out. Third option is to go all out and not let the guys get back to their feet. If one of the guys is wearing a tie and leans forward, that’s a handle to pull down. If there’s a table candle, pick it up and hit the guy in the back of their head with it. Then get out of the place. That’s how to handle the situation sitting down, how do it standing up coming soon.
8:48 – Rick, who won the Delilah’s Bachelor Party with Danny on Saturday. He had a great comic book conversation with Metro at the club. He whipped out his Iron Man wallet to impress Metro. Rick’s fiancée likes to go to the clubs with him, which is good for him.
8:50 – Danny plays a clip from Gretchen’s new reality show Reinventing Bonaduce. Since the divorce she’s gotten really angry and starts to talk about herself in the third person. She also talks about her sex life, after Danny quit doing reality show because of the affects on their children. She tells her boyfriend Kevin that she wants to see other people to make sure she’s not making a mistake. At the end of the episode there’s a teaser for the rest of the season, which is ALL clips of Danny from his confrontation with Gretchen in Los Angeles. There’s also a small clip of their daughter Isabella telling Gretchen she’s uncomfortable with all the Danny bashing on the show. With the exception of the episode with the confrontation, this will be an amazingly boring show.
9:07 – Over the weekend Shila was at a fancy engagement party. There was valet parking for the house, sitar player providing music, very over the top. Shila got a plate at the buffet and had one of her infamous Kramer moments and broke her fork, shattered the plate which created an awkward moment. An apologetic Shila cleaned it up while asking for forgiveness the entire time. Shila was ‘that girl’ for the rest of the party. Her mother scolded her and everyone else came up with comments that it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. The fork wasn’t plastic, it was metal with a bamboo handle. The last fancy party Danny went to was an award show where he broke Johnny Fairplay’s face. He didn’t feel ashamed, he was applauded.
9:29 – News with Shila:
An elderly man is recovering after being rescued from a burning home by a neighbor early Sunday morning. Calvin Gamble said he noticed smoke coming from a neighbor's home on the 3500 block of N. 23rd Street just before 4 a.m. Without a second thought, Gamble ran inside the house and pulled the elderly man to safety.
The FBI is willing to do just about anything when it comes to tracking down bad guys. They did the widgets thing last year. And today they announced that they've "set up shop in several social media websites." They've now got profiles on Facebook , Twitter and YouTube profiles are highlighted. They even have billboards up in Second Life. But nothing is mentioned about MySpace. Big brother is watching you!
A man who tried to hire a prostitute to take his 14-year-old son's virginity as a present was spared jail by a court on Friday. The Polish national took the boy out in his car and allowed him to pick out the prostitute, who was standing at the side of the road in the red-light district of Nottingham. But the 42-year-old father was arrested because the teenager had chosen an undercover police officer, Nottingham Crown Court heard. What’s the proper age? 18! That’s when Danny promised Dante he’d get to have his own hooker.
A 75-year-old woman stunned doctors by asking them to give her plastic surgery so she could have a “designer vagina.” The Russian grandmother, known only as Nina M., said she wanted to find herself a younger husband. You can get a Gucci coochie? They always look pretty beat up to Danny.
9:34 – Mark the man that wants to punch Danny has made it to the studio. He comes in the studio. Danny thinks this will be no big deal. Mark comes into the studio; he doesn’t like Danny’s arrogance, cockiness and doesn’t like the show. Would he think less of Danny if he backed down? Yes. Seeing him eye to eye Mark thinks he’ll smash Danny. Danny will set something up so that all parties will be pleased.
9:46 – Mark to calls and say it was honorable to handle Mark the way he did. Danny’s never boxed a listener. There was lots of behind the scenes action when Danny brought him in. Management had ruffled feathers. Eric calls to say that he digs the show for reasons like this.
9:57 – Spike is in the studio, he’s settled down a little bit. He was slightly freaked out that a listener that wanted to punch Danny was in the studio earlier.
Danny Bonaduce 5/15/09
6:02 – Is it bad to feel better when someone else feels worse? Morally, yes. Willie Aames is coming in later and Danny pulls out a photo of Willie straight shredded when he was younger. Willie isn’t in that kind of shape anymore. Willie owes Danny money for something, no one’s sure why though. Danny put Willie up in his house and wishes him well, but doesn’t want Willie to have a big comeback. He’s approaching Danny’s territory and could pose a threat to Danny’s monopoly. He wishes Willie the best of luck, but Danny wants to be the one that gets the next big gig. If this was a high school reunion Danny wants to be the one that everyone else pays attention to because he’s doing well. Danny’s fired up to show off a new drink recipe he found. 6:28 – SPORTS: Yet the Phils went down, 5-3, in 10 innings because just about everything else collapsed around Hamels at critical junctures. This weekend the World Champion Phillies will visit the White House where Jimmy Rollins will give Obama a special 44 jersey because he’s the 44th President.
Michael Phelps is set to return to competitive swimming after completing a three-month suspension following the publication of a picture apparently showing the multi-Olympic champion using illegal drugs.
6:42 – Will the Bonaduce/Florian video help Willie Aames get ready for his boxing match with Mike Fazio from MTV’s A Shot of Love? Florian landed a flurry of punches, taking Danny down and maybe breaking a rib. Willie doesn’t have much fighting experience, if any.
6:48 – Lisa and Joy from D'Ignazio’s Townhouse are in to talk about their involvement in 94WYSP’s Dinner Deals. Danny is digging their gnocchi. They offer recession buster specials too. The place is big, it seats 1400 people, but every room offers a different atmosphere. Get a $50 gift card for $25 at 9:30 this morning!
7:07 – News with Shila:
PennDOT officials broke ground on a $230 million project to improve the I-95 Interchange in the Tacony section of Philadelphia Thursday morning. Officials said the project aims to reconstruct and improve the interchange at Princeton and Cottman Avenues, an intersection neighbors complain has been a safety hazard for a long time.
Chrysler LLC wants to eliminate 789 of its U.S. 3,200 dealerships, saying in a bankruptcy court filing Thursday that the network is antiquated and has too many stores competing with each other. This is huge. One dealership that’s not going anywhere is Chapman Ford.
John’s friend is sleeping with a hot married woman, but the problem is John is enjoying the company of the woman’s super hot friend. Will the cheating ruin John’s chance’s at the hot girl? The relationship isn’t far enough along to withstand the impending break up. Danny says that John’s friend has to take one for the team and cut off the sex, but still see the married lady a few more times so that it’s not a rough breakup and John’s not in an more awkward position.
Doug’s wife doesn’t think he loves her anymore after she just had a baby. She’s upset that he got her what she needed and not what she wanted for gifts. She wanted a necklace and the new Twilight book. Withhold food and she’ll pick a steak over a vampire book immediately.
Andy wants to know about creatine. He’s in his mid 40’s and wants to put some mass on. Danny calls it the best over the counter supplement at the moment. It is so good it could be banned soon. It traps water in the muscles, making them larger. Go with creatine every time, while it’s still legal.
Do you like Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach every day? Write Danny and let him know what you think.
7:51 – Dave calls to ask what Danny thinks about steroids these days. Danny loves them. He recommends that you get them from a physician because then you know what you’re doing and prefers injection over pills. Danny takes them now under the watch of a doctor. Danny’s never known his body naturally; it’s been chemically imbalanced since the age of 12. The ‘roids has increased his sex drive dramatically and that’s an up side.
Mark calls to say that he doesn’t like Danny and wants to smack him in the face. Danny’s at 400 Market Street, that’s where you’ll find him. Mark can’t have a conversation without name calling. Danny offers him a chance to set it up and come down, he won’t sue or press charges, but Mark backs down. Maybe Mark has fantasies about Danny?
Julianne the Intern is in the studio. Danny asks her how many dates it takes before a girl should put out. She’s too embarrassed to say, it didn’t take long to break the intern.
8:08 – Entertainment News:
In a neat bit of promotion, Jay Leno's last guest on the "Tonight" show will be the man who's taking over for him — Conan O'Brien. The big names making the cut for Leno's final week of "Tonight" include Mel Gibson, Prince and Billy Crystal — who was Leno's first guest when he took the show over from Johnny Carson in 1992. Danny likes Prince but hasn’t seen in him the same light since Boy George called him a dwarf dipped in pubic hair.
All signs point to a new No. 1 album at the top of the Billboard 200 chart next week, as we await the arrival of Green Day's "21st Century Breakdown." The Reprise/Warner Bros. set will see an off-cycle release on Friday, May 15. (Most albums are released on Tuesdays.) Even though "Breakdown" will only have three days of sales on next week's Billboard 200 chart, it's likely it'll debut at No. 1. Sources say the set shipped over 650,000 to retailers — though it's not expected to blow through that quantity in three days.
Los Angeles city prosecutors have charged Gerard Butler with misdemeanor battery in connection with a scuffle with a paparazzo. Records show prosecutors filed the charge in a Hollywood courthouse on Wednesday. Los Angeles City Attorney spokesman Frank Mateljan said Butler faces up to six months in jail if convicted.
8:24 – Dr. Mike from Fox 29 calls to discuss Danny’s view on steroids. He says that Danny’s like Dupont, better living through chemicals. The Doc says that working out with a proper diet are the way to go. Danny tells the Doc that he only endorsed getting steroids the right way, through a doctor. Danny gets them for his asthma. Dr. Mike admits that HGH is popular at the moment, but it has to be studied for safety. Danny took black market steroids and it made him quite sick. Creatine can also affect livers and kidneys. Self healing is not the way to go either; it’s like representing yourself as a lawyer in court. Danny doesn’t disagree with Dr. Mike on any level. There are cases where steroids can be prescribed, but not for putting on muscle in the gym. 8:31 – Willie Aames comes in the studio. He’s got a posse and a hot blonde named Rachel with him. She won a date with Willie. Danny first worked with Willie on an episode of ‘Eight is Enough’ as the bad kid that got him drunk. Willie’s got a celebrity boxing match Saturday night at World Gym. Willie’s coming out of a bad patch so he’s going to win his match hands down. Danny helped Willie when he was at rock bottom and pointed him in the right direction. Willie’s a bit of a nature man too. He’s not afraid to take big animals on first hand. He uses all of the animal too. Food, pelts, candles, soap…anything! He’d like to build a sailing canoe and retrace a famous voyage from San Diego to the Panama Canal.
Willie’ geared up to kick Fazio’s ass because he ran his mouth about the hard times he fell on. Who is Mike Fazio? He’s on the phone; he was an early reject from Tila Tequila’s show on MTV. Mike is 5’6” and 155, but hasn’t boxed before. He’s been training for the fight for a month. Danny puts $100 on Willie. Shila brings out the photos of young Willie in great shape. That’s a long time ago, could Danny train Willie to get him back into that shape? Only with chemicals. Willie plans to use boxing to put himself through school to learn how to handle finances properly, but he’d like to get a match in against Dustin Diamond (Screech) before he hangs up the gloves. Danny and Willie have a common enemy in Diamond. Does Willie have Danny’s $500? Not at the moment, maybe he could give up Rachel.
8:49 – Willie is an ordained minister, he could marry Danny and Amy. Maybe they’ll get married in the boxing ring tomorrow night! He can’t do the third marriage, he can do the eighth. Eight is Enough after all!
9:08 – Fosterchild is in the studio, they’re playing a charity gig at the Troc on Sunday for Bands Battling Autism Benefit with Tommy Conwell, B3 and many more!!
Fosterchild is: Danny Beissel- Voice/Guitar, Brian Quinn- Guitar/Vocals, Mike Vlaanderen- Bass/Vocals, Bobby Pirylis Jr.- Drums/Vocals. Brian and Bobby used to be in Octane. Danny will play rhythm guitar and Shila will be singing as they perform ‘Sweet Home Alabama.’ This should be interesting…She missed part of the chorus, but she did very well. They’re going to play and original song later. Danny plays a little bit of the Beatle’s Norwegian Wood. Nice.
9:32 – News with Shila:
The Philadelphia Phillies are set to visit the White House to celebrate their World Series victory. The Phillies are scheduled to meet with President Obama on Friday. A planned April visit was called off due to the death of the Phillies' Hall of Fame announcer Harry Kalas.
Saying Philadelphia will host the largest free concert in America, Mayor Nutter announced today that singer Sheryl Crow will headline the festivities at the Sunoco Welcome America Fourth of July celebration. Danny' fired up to see the fireworks from his roof.
The death of a loved one is traumatic enough, but a mix-up at a local funeral almost had one family saying goodbye to the wrong man.
Police cracking down on rowdy Amish youths ticketed an teenager for having beer in his horse carriage when they pulled him over, authorities said. Danny brings up the Amish tradition of Rumspringa. It’s the time that begins around the age of sixteen and ends when a youth chooses baptism within the Amish church or instead leaves the community. The vast majority choose baptism and remain in the church.
9:50 – Shila digs Danny from Fosterchild. Guys that play guitar get chicks. Foster Child plays an original song to close out the show.
Danny Bonaduce 5/14/09
6:02 – Danny wants Shila and Metro to do interesting things on work nights. They have pretty tame lives compared to Danny, who watched his fiancée put furniture together. Danny did Abs of Steel for seniors this morning. Danny rode his new bike to work today and realized that something might not be right with it when it was making clicking noises. He also got into a fight with Amy over an avatar, the Mii’s on Wii. Amy made video game versions of Shila, Metro and other people at the station so Danny can fight them in the boxing game. Danny didn’t like it when a Wii character apparently started flirting with Amy it seemed and thought that she made the character based on an ex-boyfriend. It was her father. Who fights with video games? Danny! Shila is excited that she’s going to have dinner nights with her neighbors. Who’s on the cutting edge, the guy that does senior citizen ab workouts or the girl who lives like a senior citizen?
6:47- Danny’s senior citizen workout had lead to a discussion about proper workout attire. Shila was at the gym earlier this week and spotted a woman in her 40’s who was wearing just a sports bra and booty shorts. She thinks that there’s a point where people should hang up the tight clothes, no matter the body type. What’s the cut off age? Danny is twice Metro’s age and would have to wear old guy clothes and Metro would get to wear spandex body suits. Is Shila an age elitist? Yes. Mary calls to say she’s 49 and dresses age appropriate for the gym and thinks that it’s ridiculous when women wear skimpy stuff while working out. There’s a proper time and place to dress sexy, the gym is not it. Susan calls to agree with Shila, but thinks she’s hung up on age. Susan thinks that no one should dress that way at the gym. Bill sees some 40 year-olds he’d rather see in tight outfits than some girls half their age. Danny has a great body, should he have to watch what he wears? Tommy calls to say that if you got it, flaunt it! Chuck calls to ask if Shila’s jealous of the flabby old lady. Not quite, Shila’s in pretty good shape. Danny wants to wear what he wants to when he wants to, bedazzled jeans or leather jackets with rose embroidered on them.
7:06 – News with Shila:
Garrett Reid is behind bars. Again. Reid, eldest son of Eagles coach Andy Reid, was sent to Graterford Prison after failing a drug test at a halfway house, said Montgomery County District Attorney Risa Vetri Ferman.
Delaware investigators say the fix was in when a horse favored to win a 2007 race at Delaware Park came in third. Days later, it was discovered Maren's Meadow had a sponge shoved up its nose. When a sponge is inserted in a horse's nose, it can't breathe as well, and that's going to affect the outcome of the race.
Danny wants to up the ante in his bet with Shila about her news reading. No major screw ups and she will get $20,000. However if she has a big screw up she has to clean Danny’s apartment in lingerie.
Online classified site Craigslist will replace its "erotic services" ads with a new adult category following pressure by state authorities after the murder of a masseuse who advertised on the site. Danny likes his hookers off the street. It makes a cleaner city
Officials say a suspected drug dealer who led police on a 90 mph chase in Indiana was arrested after he stopped suddenly at a Taco Bell parking lot. Fort Wayne police Sgt. Mark Walters says 36-year-old Jermaine Askia Cooper told officers he "knew he was going to jail for a while" and wanted to get one last burrito. He did not get the burrito, police said. He went to Taco Bell, but he won’t be going south of the border until he goes to prison.
7:28 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
Keith called with a problem in April. His daughter wanted to move to Florida with her mother and was starting fights with him constantly. Danny told Keith that she was starting arguments so that it wouldn’t hurt as much to leave. Keith called her on it and she admitted that was the case. The newest development is that his daughter did go to Florida and ended up getting charged with domestic battery over a fight with her mother. Keith wants to bail her out, but the wife wouldn’t lift a finger to help her and leave her on the street. Keith doesn’t have the money go fly down and get her. Danny thinks that Keith could afford the $150 bail and a bus ticket. However she’ll have to go back so she doesn’t make the mess worse and she’ll never want to see her mother again.
Rich is a recovering addict who wants his family or friends to stop eyeballing him because they’re not sure he’s stopped using. Danny’s solution: home drug test kits. Danny’s been through this and proving that he was clean gained the trust of people that were questioning his dedication. 7:44 – UFC fighter Kenny Florian is in the studio. He was on the Ultimate Fighter show and going for the title against B.J. Penn at UFC 101 at the Wachovia Center August 8th. He trains 6 days a week, 2-3 times a day. He’s got a number of coaches to train him. He eats six meals a day too. He has to lose 20 pounds by August. Shila’s a big fan of MMA. How will Kenny prepare? This is a fight he wants; Kenny’s got some killer elbows and thinks it’s going to be a great technical fight. UFC is THE biggest name in MMA. Danny’s sparred with Joe Rogan. They’ll never fight though. They have no interest in brawling. Danny asks Kenny to see what he’s made of.
8:00 – Is taking a beating a skill? If so it’s a skill Danny wants to master today. Matt calls to ask Kenny if he’s ever mistaken as Ben Stiller. It happens quite often. He follows that up with a question about winning versus a dominant performance. Kenny doesn’t want to win on account of cuts; he’d rather push Penn to his limit. It’s time for Kenny to throw some punches at Danny. Danny takes a flurry and goes down after about 25 seconds of Florian fist. Danny’s out of breath from getting hit, it was the hook that took him down.
8:11 – Danny’s eye might get puffy, he didn’t wear head gear. He was trying to go down, but couldn’t because he was taking upper cuts. He was worried about breaking a bone in Florian’s hand because there were no wraps of headgear used. Check the video for the surprised look on Florian’s face when he realizes how hard he has to hit Danny to knock him down.
Entertainment News:
Maxim has unveiled its "2009 Hot 100," the magazine's definitive list of the world’s most beautiful women. Topping the list: House's Olivia Wilde, whom Maxim editors say they can't stop "drooling over."
10. Jennifer Love Hewitt – Danny disagrees vehemently, too high on the lit for her.
9. Jordana Brewster – Danny has more interest in Punky Brewster.
8. Rihanna – Before or after Chris Brown?
7. Adriana Lima – Danny has no idea who she is.
6. Eliza Dushku – Nice call.
5. Mila Kunis – Danny loves her, she was really nice when Danny did That 70’s Show.
4. Malin Akerman – That’s cool, very acceptable.
3. Bar Refaeli – Barf in Alley?
2. Megan Fox – Only number 2??
1. Olivia Wilde – Who? The girl from 'House'? This choice is suspect.
Megan Fox said in the new issue of Esquire magazine "I think people are born bisexual and they make subconscious choices based on the pressures of society," said Fox. "I have no question in my mind about being bisexual." The Transformers star added that she is also a hypocrite, because she would "never date a girl who was bisexual, becasue that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty..." What? Could she be gay? Danny interprets her statement as so.
Pearl Jam bassist Jeff Ament is recovering from a violent robbery. Rolling Stone reports Ament and an employee of the band were attacked by three assailants with knives as they approached a studio in Atlanta on April 27th.
Shirley Jones, who was so wholesome on "The Partridge Family," might pose nude for Playboy at the age of 75, if her husband/manager Marty Ingels has his way. "She's still drop-dead gorgeous, and at the age of 75, a natural beauty," Ingels told Page Six. "I'm her husband, and I think it would be sensational. Mature women are relevant."Danny thinks that Marty Ingles can’t be trusted. He has a history of harassing old people and there’s no way Shirley would do it. 8:40 – Who Would Win In A Fight: Captain James T. Kirk or Captain Jack Sparrow? Captain of the Enterprise versus Captain of the Black Pearl. Metro takes Kirk because Sparrow’s a drunk and Kirk has fought aliens on other planets. Danny counters with Sparrow’s swordsmanship. Shila takes Sparrow because Kirk gets his ass kicked in a bar fight in the new Star Trek, Sparrow is cunning and plays his enemies for fools, he came back from the dead, and Keith Richards is his father, he comes from incredible genetics. Danny takes Kirk because he’s kicked much Klingon ass.
George takes Kirk because of the gauntlet fight and the phaser will be set to kill. Andy takes Kirk because he beat Kahn. Chris takes Kirk because he’s a tough guy and Sparrow’s a drunken fool. Sean takes Sparrow because he’s the undead. James takes Kirk because Sparrow’s always drunk. Casey takes Sparrow because if he can fight that good drunk how well would he do sober? Lou take Kirk because you don’t bring a sword to a phaser fight. Tallying up the votes Kirk took the phones 9-4 and Sparrow takes the text votes with 54%. A split decision!
9:06 – Tommy Lee from Motley Crue is on the show. The Crue will be on ‘Bones’ tonight and they’ll be in Camden on July 19th for Cruefest 2. He’s excited to play the Dr. Feelgood album, front to start, in concert to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the album. Danny has lots of great Crue stories from all the partying he did in L.A. when he was younger. Danny’s seen Tommy play in bands way before the Crue and Tommy remembers the time that Vince punched Danny in the face outside the Rainbow. Danny did ‘Breaking Bonaduce’ because of a line from Nikki Sixx in the Crue’s ‘Behnd the Music.’ Tommy wanted to rescue Danny when he saw ‘Breaking Bonaduce.’ Tommy remembers the time that Danny came out and tackled Steve-O off the stage when he was causing trouble in the middle of a Crue show. Tommy loves Philly, always brings his kids here, and loves a good cheesesteak. He’s fired up to start Cruefest 2 across the river. It was an instant click for the band when they got together. Tommy plans to spend some time bonding with Danny when they’re in town. Look for htem on ‘Bones’ tonight and in Camden on July 19th.
9:37 – News with Shila:
A new study just released shows that Philadelphia ranks number two when it comes to job opportunities for this year's college graduates. While the economy has everyone concerned about jobs these days, this year's college grads are looking anywhere they can for that promising career opportunity. According to study conducted by apartment.com an CBcampus.com, Philadelphia ranks second on the list of cities that have attractive career and housing options for young people aged 20-24. Great news!
A new report shows that while the birth rate among unmarried women in the US is on the rise, it is still far behind in comparison to trends witnessed in Northern European countries. The number of infants born out of wedlock in the US hit an historic high of 1,714,643 in 2007. Countries including France, Denmark, the United Kingdom and Iceland each have a higher rate of births to unwed mothers than the United States. Amy’s been to Norway many times and can speak Norwegian. What are the chances she goes there to whore out?
Jefferson County authorities are looking a man they've dubbed the "Nicotine Ninja" believed to be responsible for stealing $120,000 worth of cigarettes. Authorities said the suspect is completely clad in dark clothing and covers half his face with a black cloth when he breaks into liquor stores in the middle of the night.
9:57 – Danny shows Spike his cool new black eye. Spike is disappointed that Danny Gokey was voted off American Idol last night.
Danny Bonaduce 5/13/09
6:01 – Danny is excited to introduce the first ever Danny Bonaduce Show intern Julianne to the world of radio. She goes to PSU and had an introduction to Danny at 5:50 this morning when he was complaining about doing cardio early this morning. Three girls in spandex whipped Danny’s ass today. Shila started going to dance classes to get her abs in shape. Danny’s in love with the Comcast OnDemand workouts. Six packs are the new biceps? Jerry calls to ask Danny why he’s dancing around in his living room in the morning. Fact is if you want to get attention from girls there’s two ways to do it: big money or tight abs. Aparently the makeup woman for The Smoking Gun Presents needs to replace her sponges after working with Leif Garrett. Sponges professional makeup artists use are different than the ones sold at local drug stores. Danny’s well aware of sponges, he was married to one after all. 6:30 – SPORTS: Rightfielder Jason Werth equaled a team record with four steals, including a swipe of home, and the Phillies outpitched, outhit, outran and outfoxed an excellent Dodgers team.
This was important enough to Doug Collins that he returned a message from the Daily News at halftime of Tuesday night's NBA playoff game between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Houston Rockets. Collins was in Los Angeles serving as the analyst on the TNT telecast. Collins was refuting a report that quoted him as saying he had spoken with the 76ers about their coaching job that became available earlier in the week.
Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban, locked in a verbal sideshow with Denver Nuggets forward Kenyon Martin ever since Saturday's Game 3 of the playoff series against Dallas, apologized to Martin and his mother in his latest posting on his blog. "I shouldn't have said anything. Now, the reality is that this has gotten out of hand," Cuban wrote on blogmaverick.com, with the posting titled, "An Apology to Kenyon Martin's Mom."
6:53 – The president of VH1 wrote Danny about the Man Camp idea. He thinks it’s too close to G’s and Gents and Tool Academy, however he’d love to do a show in Philly. Danny is full of ideas, he just needs to find the right jerks to make it interesting. Greg calls to offer up the idea of Bi-Polar Camp. Danny did that with one guy already, it was called Breaking Bonaduce.
7:02 – News with Shila:
Drug dealers, hit men, gunrunners . . . come and get your phony driver's licenses from PennDOT. That was the essence of the latest scathing statewide grand-jury report that - for the fourth time since 2004 - sharply criticized lax procedures for obtaining driver's licenses from the state transportation agency. Danny refuses to get a PA license because he doesn’t want to waste a day at the DMV.
The head of the Boston-area transit authority said yesterday that he would ban all train and bus operators from even carrying cell phones on board after a trolley driver told police he was texting his girlfriend before a collision Friday. About 50 people were hurt in the underground crash in downtown Boston, though the injuries were not life-threatening.
An office worker cleaning a fridge full of rotten food created a smell so noxious that it sent seven co-workers to the hospital and made many others ill. Firefighters had to evacuate the AT&T building in downtown San Jose on Tuesday, after the flagrant fumes prompted someone to call 911. A hazmat team was called in.. Danny could send seven people to the hospital because of noxious fumes all by himself. Danny doesn’t do well with putting stuff away, but he can clean and scrub like no one’s business.
A village in India is defying medical science as it boasts more than 220 sets of twins in just 2,000 families - almost six times the global average. A world with two Danny’s? One’s more than enough. Danny just narrated a documentary about India and in some villages twins are treated as one person, sharing one name.
7:34 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
Mike can’t leave the house without a drink. What did Danny do to kick his addiction? He drinks now, but did stop for two years. The answer is to persevere. Mike hasn’t missed work, but has been on construction sites while hung over. Danny tells him to check into rehab and look into anabuse to help.
Pat is concerned about his 20 year-old niece who has started stripping. He doesn’t have a problem with the dancing, but worries about the lifestyle that surrounds it. Drug addiction would be noticeable, so Danny says to worry about the lifestyle rather than the line of work. Drug addiction is a secret that can’t be kept.
Lydia is on Aderol and has been overusing when she has lots of work to do. Once you veer from the directions on the prescription you’re breaking the law. Danny tells her to slow down, follow the prescription and just pace herself.
7:48 – According to a new survey in Oprah’s ‘O’ magazine 27% of girls between 15 and 18 admit to sex, but 46% of those girls tell their mothers about it, but 1 in 4 tell their fathers about it. Danny’s daughter dealt with menstruation with a level head and talked to him about it. What kind of sex talk would Metro have? He’d do it at 17, Danny thinks that’s too late. The guys Shila knows are resistant to have the sex talk with their daughters because of the types of guys they were when they were younger. Danny thinks that kids are better behaved about sex now than when he was younger because of HIV. Danny’s daughter approached him about the sex talk, he told her to not be a sucker and fall for the lies. She should love the guy she’s with and said that she was as responsible for protection as he is.
Mike calls to say his 12 year-old daughter only asks him about sex while he’s driving. Now that she’s developing and he gave simple answers to questions as she was growing up she’s comfortable talking to him. Danny advises that young women should turn to the predator because they have experience hunting and is the expert on the subject.
8:10 – Entertainment News:
Miss California USA lost some goodwill with controversies over semi-nude photographs and her association with a conservative advocacy group for marriage, but she gets to keep her crown. Though he disagrees with her statement, Danny applauds her for speaking her mind.
When Aerosmith hits the road this summer, fans in some states will have a new way to win backstage passes, front-row seats and maybe an extra few million dollars to spend on beer. The rock group and singer Steven Tyler's publisher, Primary Wave Music, struck a deal with the gaming technology company GTECH to launch a band-branded series of lottery games based on "Dream On" and other songs from Aerosmith's catalog.
Brad Pitt has allegedly been phoning ex Jennifer Aniston while under the influence, and a source says Jen was "initially taken aback - especially as he sounded drunk and sorry." Reportedly, Brad "told her he misses her and that he's sorry for any hurt caused." Danny was stunned as to how bad Brad’s skin is. He did hit on Brad once when Danny was way drunk and Brad had long, flowing blonde hair.
8:34 – The Name Game for Green Day tickets!
You can use the first, middle, or last name to tie celebrities together by name.
Steven Tyler, Tyler Perry, Matthew Perry, Matthey McConaughey, Matthew Broderick, Matt Modine…Danny’s out.
Billie Joe Armstrong, Billie Jean King, Nat King Cole….that’s it. Rob wins Green Day tickets!
Another round for fun. Charlie Manuel, Charles Manson, Charles Nelson Rielly, Charles Bronson, Bronson Pinchot, that’s a game ender! Rob has the magic touch.
Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Reed, Jennifer Lopez, Mario Lopez, Mario Cantone, Super Mario? NO! Danny’s stumped, game over!
8:48 – Harry Hairston from NBC 10 is in the studio. He’s a special investigator for the station and he’s done a news piece on following 5 high school students who have their technical toys taken from them. No cell phones, no video cameras, no computers. Danny went without his cell phone for a few days and loved it because the bosses at work couldn’t pester him. Some people don’t know how to read a clock. Danny doesn’t know his old home number because it was in his cell phone contact list. Danny doesn’t even know his zip code because technology has taken care of it. The students weren’t allowed to check their voice mail, they had to use land lines for all calls. They used their cell phones for schedules, clocks, and alarm clock. Teachers did say that their focus improved because they were paying attention in class. The parents loved it too because they could have conversations and actually see their kids’ faces.
Rhonda, one of the mothers, calls in to say that she did miss the instant communication with her son, but she could actually communicate with her son, David. He couldn’t text to say that he arrived somewhere safely. The report will be airing Thursday.
9:08 – Danny asks Shila if she could live without her cell phone. Probably not. She uses it for an alarm clock and doesn’t know her home phone number. Danny’s been without one of his cell phone for four months and he doesn’t miss it. Amy takes care of the majority of Danny’s phone and e-mail needs. Shila doesn’t like e-mailing, she’d prefer to talk to people. Danny loves e-mail because it’s a one sided conversation. If Metro didn’t have his cell phone and e-mail the show would come to a screeching halt. Amy goes through 300 e-mails a day.
9:28 – Julianne the new intern is in the studio. She’s painfully shy. Danny puts her on air to talk about this week’s Dinner Deals. When Danny’s through with her she’ll be a broadcasting professional and she’ll be able to win street fights!
9:37 – News with Shila:
The state Senate approved a bill Tuesday that would authorize Delaware to become the only state east of the Mississippi River to offer sports betting, sending it to Gov. Jack Markell for his promised signature. Danny doesn’t care much about this. He’ll do his gambling in Atlantic City where he can pay taxes on his cigarettes.
It was the kind of incident that can make a space shuttle engineer’s heart stop: an unknown piece of debris on launch Monday skipped across some heat protection tiles on the forward most part of space shuttle Atlantis’ right wing, leaving 21 inch long gouge marks. Danny would have Comcast build his space ship. NASA is the last place he’d go after the Hubble telescope.
A 30-year-old man bore the embryonic remains of his undeveloped twin brother through his bellybutton after his stomach ruptured, it has emerged. Gavin Hyatt went to his GP Joe Santos when a growth that protruded from his belly began to force its way out. What is an obobdomen? Sometimes Shila mispronounces stuff like ‘abdomen.’ Danny offers Shila $10,000 to reduce her news reading errors. What will Shila do for her side of the bed? Clean his house for the week.
9:57 – Spike is in the studio, he can’t bend over to put socks on. His social life must be suffering too. He’s got a few herniated discs and just turned the wrong way at the wrong time.
Danny Bonaduce 5/12/09
6:02 – Scaring Shila is a highlight of Danny’s day. When he yells her name first thing in the morning she ‘Kramers Out.’ Danny did a baby voice for Amy one morning and now she demands that he do it in front of strangers. Danny is that guy.
Yesterday Danny got in his new Lincoln and there was flier on his windshield, after trying to peel it off there was paper residue that wouldn’t go away. After reading the info on the flier he drove to the club in Kensington, pounded on the door. Danny lit into the large guy about his bad grammar and the level of rudeness of putting the sticker on his windshield and demanded that he scrape the sticker off his windshield. The guy got a razor to take it off, but that lead to more arguing. It was a matter of principal at this point. After showing the big guy that it was his sticker after all he relented, scraped it off and went back into the club. Shila and Metro are in awe of Danny’s audacity to drive to Kensington and take it this level. Shila would have just taken care of the sticker herself. Danny’s not a step away from being a serial killer; he’s a step away from being a serial victim.
6:30 – SPORTS:
Tony DiLeo is no longer the head coach of the 76ers. After six up-and-down months as the 21st head coach in team history, and one very bad final game, the Sixers announced yesterday that DiLeo had withdrawn his name from consideration to continue as the team's head coach.
Owners of Philadelphia's Major League Soccer franchise that will begin play in the 2010 season revealed Monday the team will be named Philadelphia Union with blue and gold colors.
An unlikely sideshow developed prior to Monday night's Game 4 of the Mavericks-Nuggets series: Mark Cuban vs. Kenyon Martin's mother. According to Cuban, a fan called the Nuggets "thugs" and he looked at Moore and said, "That includes your son." However, Martin's agent said, "Your son is a punk." Why is this a big deal? Danny likes this kind of attitude in professional sports.
Michael Phelps deserves another gold medal -- for stamina in the sack, according to a stripper who claims she had a threesome with the swim champ. "The sex lasted for about three hours," Baltimore stripper Theresa White told Britain's News of the World. "Michael should get another Olympic gold for marathon love-making!" If he nailed two girls at the same time then he’s Danny’s kind of All-American boy.
6:47 – Danny’s friend Rikki Lake made her sensational and scandalous premiere on VH1’s Charm School Last night. Girl fights, women with drinking problems, and lots of crying. Danny got hundred of e-mails about the ‘Man Camp’ show he created yesterday during the Rikki Lake interview and calls from production companies who think it’s green lit already. Light up the VH1 message boards with your interest in ‘Man Camp.’
7:05 – News with Shila:
Delaware State Police say a state trooper has been charged with soliciting sex from a shoplifting suspect. State police say Cpl. Joshua Giddings faces sexual extortion, misconduct and bribery charges. The 32-year-old trooper was charged following an arrest he made March 19 at the Christiana Mall. Why would she take it public when she did this to prevent from being busted in the first place? Danny never got a speeding ticket for his high speed chases because he was getting written up for all the felonies committed.
If you park illegally in center city, don't be surprised if you get a ticket. A major parking crackdown began yesterday. The city is targeting anyone who is parked illegally. And they’re not just ticketing, they’ll be towing as well. Danny got road rage yesterday going 7 blocks yesterday because of double parking in Center City. Shila thinks that people are getting ticket happy. Danny might end up on Parking Wars soon. Shila thinks more lanes on 76 would make things better. That’s what the Blue Route was for. Ha! Danny has been fined collectively $6500 for smoking.
An American soldier got into a verbal altercation with staff at a combat stress clinic on Camp Liberty, Iraq, returned to the clinic and shot five people Monday, killing at least four soldiers, said an Army official who spoke on condition of anonymity. How did he get his hands on another firearm? Perhaps he had a non-issue gun?
On a spring day in 1953, two baby girls were born at Pioneer Memorial Hospital in eastern Oregon. They grew up happily, got married, had kids of their own and became grandparents. Then last summer their lives were turned upside down. Kay Rene Reed Qualls found out that she and DeeAnn Angell Shafer were switched at birth. They recently met for the first time and underwent DNA tests after a woman who knew both their mothers called Qualls' brother with her suspicion. What can you do at 56? It’s too late to change anything.
Dave calls to say that he’s working a job that’s prepping to expand the width of 95. Danny thinks that he’ll be dead by the time this happens. Don calls to say that his son was just deployed to Iraq and he wasn’t allowed to take civilian side arms. Danny points out that they could buy the side arms overseas. 7:32 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
Brian calls to say his ex-wife has a low opinion of him, despite his improvements. Brian was a drinker, but he’s been clean for 3 years. Danny says to wait it out; she’s not used to the new Brian. Revenge is living well. She’ll still hate him, but she’ll have to acknowledge his improvements.
Paul is addicted to porn, which is causing problems in his relationship. Danny thought porn addiction was a myth and the lack of access to technology allows the interest in his girlfriend to return. Paul wants to get his girlfriend interested in porn though. She has to know it’s fun and exciting, but it’s a team activity. Start with Skinimax or a movie like ‘Pirates’ and build her up.
7:45 – Mark is 31 is having father issues. Mark’s mother sent him to lunch with the man she called his father, but the man denied the statement. Since then the man has been looking Mark up. Danny says Mark should hear his side of the story.
Alex wants to know how to beat depression. He just turned 27, was engaged once, but he seems to have it together. However he wants to know how to stop from being so self doubtful. A psychologist said he was would up about early childhood development. Danny thinks he doesn’t have a problem and he’s Danny’s kind of guy.
Paul mumbles his way though telling Danny there’s a hot girl that he sees every day at the bus stop. Danny tells him to step up and learn how to annunciate, but taking a bus to special programs might put him out of Danny’s jurisdiction. Acting and improve classes can work wonders for self esteem though.
8:06 – Entertainment News:
Brooke Shields is backing Kiefer Sutherland against allegations he instigated a violent argument with fashion designer Jack McCollough at a New York party. The 24 star stands accused of third-degree assault after allegedly headbutting Proenza Schouler designer McCollough at a Met Costume Institute Gala afterparty on the night of May 5th. McCollough accused Sutherland of leaving him with a broken nose.
Sean Penn's marriage to Robyn Wright Penn reportedly ended because he had started seeing actress Natalie Portman. Star magazine reports Penn, 48, and Portman, 27, have been together since at least March 17, when spies say they were spotted kissing for over 45 minutes at the Tower Bar in LA's Sunset Tower Hotel. Danny’s never had an untrue word printed about him in the tabloids, but they can certainly angle their words in a way that can be unflattering.
A new John Lennon exhibit is particularly emotional for his widow, Yoko Ono. Besides Lennon's guitars, letters and other personal effects, it also includes a paper bag containing the bloody clothes from the night he was shot to death. Danny once interviewed Yoko in Japanese. Danny is a huge John Lennon fan and got into a longstanding argument because Danny wanted a solo photo at Strawberry Fields, which didn’t sit well with Amy.
A&E Network will begin shining up the fourth season of Gene Simmons Family Jewels next month. Centering on the rock legend and his mate, former soft core adult actress Shannon Tweed, and their clan, the new season is scheduled to begin June 7 at 10 p.m. This means Danny will have to fly out to do another episode of the show soon. It’s not that much of a reality show though.
Kim Kardashian is helping her stepdad Bruce Jenner deal with his deep-seated physical insecurities by documenting his plastic surgery on her reality TV series. Kardashian sent gossips into a frenzy after she recently hinted a family member on Keeping Up with the Kardashians would be getting plastic surgery on the program.
Tim calls to ask why there isn’t Neighborhood Fatties, he’s a fan of big girls. Danny’s a fan of all women. Joyce calls to say she doesn’t like Shila. Danny points out that it’s not easy to read news. Shila was never a news reader. The opposite of love is not hate, it’s apathy. And it’s better to have someone fired up about you one way or the other than not at all. 8:34 – Danny introduces adult film actress Jacky Joy. She was doing a photo shoot at Mad River yesterday and spent some time with Danny and Amy. Danny was playing Dance Dance Revolution when Jacky said she was good at the game too. Danny invited her to play strip Dance Dance Revolution. Danny ended up nude while Jacky didn’t take off a stitch. A soon as he lost he went to bed, with no clothes. She did try on his bedazzled jeans though. They fit.
8:51 – Ask A Porn Star: Jacky Joy
Shila kicks it off by asking her about having sex on camera with guys she’s not attracted to. Happens all the time. Personal sex is different than professional sex. She has a boyfriend???
Steve calls to ask about Jacky having a boyfriend. The sex is better with the boyfriend because it’s more intimate. Justin calls to ask about breaking into the industry. Only if you’re really big, the same guys get all the work. Heather calls to ask if Jacky hangs out with normal people. It’s not easy being in the industry living in the Poconos. Jerry asks about blooper moments on the set. That’s not a question that can be answered on the air today. Otto calls to ask what she does for fun in the sack if she has sex for a living. She likes to get rough with her man. Andy wants to know what will make a woman ‘shake.’ Jacky fakes it, so she doesn’t know. Paul asks what Jacky’s IQ is. She’s got a 3.5 in college at the moment, so she’s a smart girl. What do her parents think about it? They’re getting used to it. Danny spent a good amount of time talking to her mother on the phone last night. Metro asks if Jacky will get naked in the studio. Danny has Amy hit him in the brainstem for being rude and then Jackie says he has no game. So that’s a no. Look for Danny and Jackie at Mad River this Friday night.
9:09 – Danny brings Gibbons in the studio, it’s his one year anniversary at the station. Danny loves Gibbons because he never says ‘no.’ Happy anniversary buddy!
Pennsylvania lawmakers are considering a bill that would bar welfare recipients from using taxpayer-backed benefit cards to buy alcohol. The measure, which also bans use of child support payments for alcohol purchases, unanimously passed the state House last week. Danny’s seen this in action. When he smoking crack he’d see people trading food stamps at reduced rates for cash to get tobacco and alcohol. There are people on welfare that want to get back to working and there are others who just want a free ride.
A man who was busily working away in the garden has accidentally killed his wife with a chainsaw. The couple were trying to cut a tree Sunday when the man hit his wife in the neck with the chain saw. She died at the scene of the accident, about 35 miles south of Grand Rapids, Michigan. Man killed wife with chainsaw by accident? Danny thinks it could be intentionally because trees are traditionally cut from the bottom, not 5 feet high.
9:53 – Spike is in the studio and he’s in pain. He did something bad to his back and is walking around like a brittle old man. Danny brings up the fact that he plays Dance Dance Revolution with hand weights and throwing punches as a work out. Gay or Not Gay? Spike says it’s just silly. Losing a round of Dance Dance Revoltion to a porn star? Silly again Spike says.
Danny Bonaduce 5/11/09
6:02 – Danny shaved his beard after a dye accident. Shila thinks Danny looks dramatically younger, but he doesn’t like that he doesn’t look as intimidating. Shila was supposed to go to a Hindu temple in Pittsburgh over the weekend for some healing, but she wasn’t feeling well enough to travel. Metro was scared by a homeless man on his way to work today. The guy was yelling at cars, and then turned his attention to a scheme involving Metro’s glasses and putting them in a really painful spot. Shila says she would have been nice to him. Danny thinks that’s the worst approach, get ‘em with vinegar, not honey. Danny spent his weekend riding his motorcycle with a bunch of other guys. They made lots of noise, bought lots of drinks, and somehow Danny ended up with needing to expense a weekend of Harleys, drinks, and gentlemen’s clubs.
6:29 – SPORTS: The Phils completed a difficult weekend yesterday with a 4-2 loss to Atlanta at sun-splashed Citizens Bank Park, which allowed the Braves to get out of town with two wins in the three-game series as the Phillies dropped 11/2 games behind the streaking New York Mets.
Charlie Manuel says he has considered what 2 years ago would seem unfathomable. That would be taking Jimmy Rollins, your 2007 National League MVP, out of the leadoff spot he has manned for the past nine seasons and moving him down in the batting order.
Manny Ramirez apologized to Dodgers owner Frank McCourt during a meeting to discuss his 50-game suspension for using a banned drug. Next, the slugger might face his teammates in the next few days.
X-rays of Brett Favre's right shoulder -- he has pain resulting from a torn biceps tendon -- have been sent to the Vikings and that the X-rays are in the process of being evaluated. If it is determined by Favre's and the Vikings' medical people that he needs anything less than "major" surgery on his shoulder, Favre will unretire to play for the Vikings.
6:46 – Danny is in a good mood because he’s done some ab workouts to Comcast OnDemand. Danny doesn’t like that his Wii Fit thinks he’s fat because it doesn’t account for muscle mass. Danny wants to open a gym that allows the gym members to workout to professional DVD’s and he’d run around and monitor the students to make sure they did things right. Kettle bells, Tai Bo, core workouts, Danny has all the materials at home in his collection. He even has ideas for heavy weight training classes for his virtual gym.
Father Jim St. George of St. Miriam Church in Manayunk’s Web site now offers online confessions with a form to fill out and some instructions that talks about reading some scripture and about preparation. Then the person can type his or her sins and press send. Maybe you could go to your virtual confession after your virtual workout. Danny’s an agnostic at best, but he was raised Roman Catholic. He did enjoy working at the church when he was working towards getting sober though.
An appeal by police for help in identifying two young males seen in a surveillance video arguing with a SEPTA bus driver - before one started beating the driver - has resulted in the arrest of two teenagers.
President Obama, playing the comic-in-chief, had the celebrity-packed crowd at the White House Correspondents' dinner rolling out of their seats Saturday night as he skewered Republicans, Vice President Biden and even Dick Cheney. He did quite well with the jokes. Do presidential joke writers cost more than normal joke writers?
7:36 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
Danny reads a letter from a woman who is concerned her 18 year-old daughter is dating a guy who says he’s 23, but is really 33. Age isn’t the problem, lying on MySpace IS though. Stop the liar now so it doesn’t lead to bigger, badder lies.
Liz’s husband wants to get a motorcycle, but when he was young he punctured his lung and was in a hospital for a month. Danny points out that one was riding a dirt bike over a jump, and the other is a motorcycle for going to and from work. Not doing jumps and wheelies. He also needs a motorcycle license.
7:49 – There was more to Mary’s letter. The boyfriend doesn’t have a car, never has money, and none of her daughter’s friends like the guy. Danny says let the relationship run it’s course, so she’s not the spiteful mother.
Jerry’s wife wants to have babies, but he’s not certain he’s ready for kids just yet. Children and money cause divorce. Having kids too young can create a midlife crisis. If the wife is on MySpace and Twitter all the time then she needs to grow up. Having a kid scream ‘mom!’ for 8 years is a real commitment.
Greg has a situation at work where a woman at work is acting aggressively and causing issues. Aggression in the work place is actionable and he reported it, however he’s an independent contractor. No matter how tough a guy is, it’s okay to report physical harassment to cover his ass.
8:04 – Entertainment News:
Justin Timberlake shocked TV viewers at the weekend by mocking his music, his relationship with Britney Spears and performing an x-rated song-and-dance routine during his stint as guest host of Saturday Night Live. Danny likes his ability to make fun of himself.
In advance of the Friday, May 15th release of Green Day's forthcoming Reprise Records album, "21st Century Breakdown," Rhapsody, MTV and VH1 are working to give fans even more access to Green Day content. The entire album will be available to preview a week prior to its release though Rhapsody's streaming music service and from MTV's "The Leak", free of charge. Danny’s fired up for the new album and to see them in concert at the Spectrum in July.
The new "Star Trek" film -- which features younger versions of Kirk, Spock and the others at the start of their space adventures-- has taken in more than $76 million at the box office on its opening weekend.
Comedian Joan Rivers was hired and poker champ Annie Duke was fired on the final faceoff of "Celebrity Apprentice." Danny turned down Celebrity Apprentice, but Danny would need to be paid to stand next to Donald Trump. Danny was on Remote Control and made an appearance on a show called Russian Roulette which would drop contestants off the stage onto a mattress 10 feet down. Danny did donate half a million dollars to charity for his appearance on Who Wants To Be A Millioniare.
Billy Crystal, Mel Gibson, and Arnold Schwarzenegger will help Jay Leno wrap up his tenure as the host of America's the Tonight Show by agreeing to be among the funnyman's final big name guests. Will Mel Gibson sit next to Billy Crystal?
'Bruno' star Sacha Baron Cohen couldn't sit down for three days because he burnt himself so badly while attempting to bleach his body hair. Danny shaves his upper body hair, but from the waist down he’s real fuzzy. He’s waxed himself before too, but he prefers his man groomer for getting rid of unwanted body hair.
8:33 – The Art of Maniless with Danny Boanduce:
David wants to know if it’s manly to hold your wife’s purse while she uses the bathroom at the mall. YES! Everyone knows the purse isn’t yours, dude. The only reason David is worried is because he’s worried about looking manly, just don’t wear it like you own it. He’ll be a gentleman if he does it. Danny was made fun of for bedazzling his jeans, but he slept with all the women he was bedazzling with. What’s the most manly way to hold a purse? Life a football, with dignity.
8:53 – Spike ‘hurt’ his back at work on Friday and couldn’t play donkey basketball with Metro on Friday. Metro had fun, but it was a bizarre experience. Danny’s a veteran donkey basketball player.
9:00 – Rikki Lake is on the show right now. She just got a divorce too. She’s the new host of VH1’s Charm School that premieres tonight. Danny was on Rikki’s talk show almost 30 times. How will she handle the crazy women of the show? She’ll be more sensitive than Sharon Osbourne first off. She got attached to the girls as the show went on. All the girls start off with an agenda, then come to realize that they want to improve themselves, but fame plays havoc with those plans. Rikki also wrote a book, Your Best Birth: Know All Your Options, Discover the Natural Choices, and Take Back the Birth Experience, about baby birthing, she had a great experience bringing her son Owen into the world while in a bathtub. Danny submitted a show to VH1 called ‘Man Camp’ that could follow Rikki’s second season of Charm School. Once Rikki’s off the line Danny tells everyone that there is no ‘Man Camp’ show….not yet. There will be by 10am today though. Charm School with Rikki Lake premieres on VH1 tonight at 9.
9:28 – Danny takes a call from Bob who wants to be a contestant on Man Camp. He’s not the man that he wants to be yet, but Danny can help him! Andy calls to thank Danny for giving his wife a ride at Mike’s Harley Davidson yesterday. The girl was so short that she made it tough for Danny to look behind him to check traffic. He can close to killing Andy’s wife, which would have done Andy a favor.
9:32 – News with Shila:
A passenger was taken into custody after trying to bring a suitcase full of cocaine onto a plane at Philadelphia International Airport. Investigators said a 29-year-old man packed a suitcase with five kilos of cocaine and attempted to board an international flight to France on Thursday. An x-ray and subsequent search by a U.S. Customs and Border Patrol drug sniffing dog discovered the cocaine. "That's the unusual thing, it's usually narcotics coming into the country, we don't typically see narcotics going out of the country," Steve Sapp of the U.S. Customs and Border Patrol said. Danny always kept his coke on his body when traveling.
The post office wants two more pennies for your thoughts. The price of a first-class stamp climbed to 44 cents today, though folks who planned ahead and stocked up on Forever stamps will still be paying the lower rate. Danny knew a guy who would gets letters with the stamps dipped in acid when they were in rehab together. That’s sneaky!
A Pennsylvania high school ordered more than 450 shot glasses for its prom, a move the assistant principal now says sent the wrong message. As the Warwick High School students left last week's dance, the prom committee handed them souvenir shot glasses. The girls who attended last year's prom got a picture frame; the boys, a money clip. Assistant Principal Scott Galen says: ``Unfortunately, this year the junior class didn't have quite as much money.''
Jody calls to tell Danny that Man Camp is out of the question, but Reality Check camp for all the rejects from awful reality shows. Her son has his head in the clouds, Danny offers to come over and beat some sense into him.
9:58 – Danny’s Final Thought: Today’s final thought harkens back to The Art of Maliness when Dave asked about holding his wife’s purse at the Cherry Hill Mall. All you had to do was hold the lady’s purse in the mall. Try being the guy that has to hold your girlfriend’s purse while she’s off getting a lap dance. It was worth it!
Danny Bonaduce Show 05/08/09
6:01 – There are some studio issues today, engineers worked some voodoo magic and it’s a work in progress. Shila went to a skinny martini party last night. There was alcohol, fashion, and fun. Danny was out late last night at a bar appearance. Waiting for hangover websites and hearing Rush first thing in the morning are NOT hangover cures. Danny played beer pong at the bar last night. Teams started out without bouncing, but by the end of the game they were all bouncing. Danny did note that when you miss on a bounce it’s easy to catch the ball before it hits the floor and get dirty. Thus speeding up the game. Danny thought it was a good idea to chug the glass with water that was used to clean the ball.
6:09 – Danny had a great drunken moment with Chris Johnson, the Promotions Director. Outside the bar there was an interesting exchange between Danny, Chris, Amy, and a drunk guy and a telephone pole. Danny’s going to host the Almost-Newlywed Game later on today’s show and doesn’t want to use the phrase ‘making whoopee’ because it reminds him of sex with Whoppi Goldberg.
6:32 – SPORTS: Carlos Beltran and David Wright each hit a two-run homer in the first inning, and the New York Mets beat the Philadelphia Phillies 7-5 on Thursday night for their fourth consecutive victory. Former Phillies manager Danny Ozark, who led Philadelphia to three consecutive National League East titles but fell short of the World Series each time, died Thursday. He was 85.
Los Angeles Dodgers slugger Manny Ramirez has been suspended for 50 games after testing positive for a performance enhancing drug, Major League Baseball said on Thursday. Jose Canseco admitted bringing hCG - the same female fertility drug that Dodger Manny Ramirez was suspended for using - across the border from Mexico and that he did not have a prescription. Danny notes that if he’s on hcG he’d be off his steroids cycle. Danny’s had enough of people apologizing for being caught with steroids.
Brett Favre called Vikings head coach Brad Childress sometime Wednesday or early Thursday and told the coach he wants to stay retired. Favre's longtime agent, Bus Cook, reiterated for the second straight day that his famously fickle client hadn't changed his plan to stay out of the game.
6:51 – Yesterday afternoon Amy was scared by a pounding at the front door and was too terrified to see who it was or wake up a napping Danny to send him outside. It turns out it was his old pal Jimmy the Bank Robber. Danny would have preferred a telephone call before the foundation shaking door hits. Jimmy is getting married this weekend to a girl that threatened to cut Danny’s throat if he ever hurt Amy.
7:11 – News with Shila:
Philadelphia police have released surveillance video of a man beating a SEPTA bus driver in a dispute over a $3.50 fare, and they are hoping for the public's help in identifying and arresting the attacker and an accomplice. Bus drivers are the salt of the earth kind of people, not assault of the earth kind of people.
An Allentown man laid off from his financial job is making a living impersonating the Leader of the Free World. Michael Lamar lost his job with J.P. Morgan and decided to sponsor his own economic stimulus package as a President Barack Obama impersonator. "I have been working ever since," Michael explained. It all started after Michael's father-in-law told him he looked like an up and coming Senator from Chicago running for president.
Drew Peterson, the former police sergeant who authorities call the prime suspect in the disappearance of his fourth wife, Stacy Peterson, has been indicted on murder charges related to his third wife, Kathleen Savio, the Illinois state attorney's office said. Peterson’s not a looker, how does he get all these women? Shila hopes he dies in jail. He might have to be found guilty first.
Darius Dugger wanted it his way: no tomatoes, no onions, no pickles. He didn't get it. So he sued. Dugger is seeking $100,000 in damages, plus legal fees and court costs, after a Burger King franchise allegedly messed up his order, causing him to fall ill. Danny knows the guy that wrote the Burger King ‘your way’ jingle. He worked on Danny’s album way back when.
7:33 – It’s time for F My Life.
Danny was at a swingers party, a cute girl grabbed his hand and asked him to dance. While pulling his hand away from the girl Danny hit his girlfriend in the face with his elbow. Now she can’t open her mouth far enough to do ‘fun’ stuff with Danny. F My Life.
Shila went to a salon, got her lip, eyebrows and a Brazilian wax. It burned her and her mouth is out of commission for a while. F My Life.
Metro was walking home last night and got doused with water from a very dirty puddle. F My Life.
Danny’s kids will he coming to town soon and Gibbons has been doing a lot of errand running for Danny lately. Amy hired a hot blonde from the Extreme Team to help with the kids, Danny was excited that a cute blonde would be in his house doing his bidding. Amy fired her then. F My Life.
7:45 – Heather calls to say her fiancé went fishing, was robbed and pistol whipped, she also lost her engagement ring when it was stolen at work. F My Life.
Maryanne got implants to replace her breast after cancer, and now she feels like she looks like a Picasso painting because the naturally one isn’t as perky as the replaced one. F My Life.
Tim, a roofer that likes to go shirtless, has been told to dress in clean clothes and buy shirts from the company he works for. His boss has decided to go into the uniform business. F My Life.
Jim went into the hospital to get cyst lanced, went under, and ended up with 9 stitches on his sack. F My Life.
Mary Ann had an auto accident that totaled her car, the guy that hit her had lapsed insurance. F My Life.
Patty was in a meeting yesterday, took a trip to the bathroom and her dress dipped into the toilet. UGH. F My Life.
‘Cuda is an out of work truck driver and unemployment doesn’t pay like it used to. There’s lots of people out of work. F My Life.
Jason’s girlfriend of two years will only sleep with him twice a month. If she’s not getting it at home she’s getting it somewhere else. F My Life.
8:03 – Pick Your Tickets! Green Day or Creed tickets are up for grabs. They'll all have a Mother's Day theme to them. This rocker has never married his Playmate partner, but has two kids with her. Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed!
8:09 –Entertainment News:
Activision has finally made official what has been widely rumored for over a year. The next band-based Guitar Hero game will focus on Van Halen, the legendary hard-rock quartet anchored by guitarist Eddie Van Halen and his drummer brother Alex. The game will be made of songs with DLR on vocals, no Sammy Hagar tunes.
Wayne `Ean` Evans, bass player for Lynyrd Skynyrd, has died from cancer at the age of 48. A statement at the Lynyrd Skynyrd website reads, “It is with profound sadness that we announce the passing of longtime Lynyrd Skynyrd bassist Ean Evans. Danny played Sweet Home Alabama with a cover band, The Loop, last night.
Actor Kiefer Sutherland, best known for his television role as a special agent, was arrested on charges that he head-butted a fashion designer at a Manhattan party. The 42-year-old actor was not jailed and remains free prior to a court appearance, the duty officer said. The date of that hearing was not immediately known.
David Ogden Stiers, the actor who is best known for playing Major Charles Winchester on TV’s “M*A*S*H,” has come out. “I am [gay],” the 66-year-old actor said. “Very proud to be so.” Danny saw this one a mile away. Shila thought Radar was the gay one. Not so says Danny, though he is a great drummer. Ogden Stiers has gone on to do well in the voiceover industry and worried that Disney would worry that if he was gay the character was gay. Disney’s pretty gay friendly though, they’re just a tightly run organization.
Paula Abdul refuting what appeared to be her shocking admission in a Ladies' Home Journal cover story saying "I want to make it perfectly clear to everyone that I have never been addicted to or abused drugs in my life," Abdul said. "I have never been drunk. I have never entered a rehab or detox treatment center.
Couple #1 – Heather and Elle. They’re lesbians!
Couple #2 – Rick and Joanna. They met on the internet, chatting on AOL.
Couple #3 – Danny and Amy. Danny works on the show and has a huge wang.
Danny realized that he didn’t know Amy’s middle name when answering questions for the game. It’s Marie, not Getmeanotherbeer. Electra starts off the game, guys try to match the ladies first.
What Would Your Girlfriend Says Your Worst Habit Is?
Elle – Procrastination/Chewing with her mouth open
Rick – Leaving the toilet seat up/Leaving the toilet seat up. MATCH!
Danny – Blowing his nose anywhere, anyhow/Crispy carpet. MATCH!
What Celebrity Does Your Girlfriend Most Resemble?
Elle – Mariska Hargitay /Lauren Graham
Rick – Megan Fox/Rose McGowan
Danny – Kate Winslet/Kelly Clarkson
How Many People Has Your Girlfriend Slept With?
Elle – 10/7 I doesn’t count before she turned gay?
Rick – 4/1 Danny thinks Joanna is lying.
Danny – 7/7 MATCH!
8:53 – Ladies try to match the men in round 2.
What Is Your Partner’s Drink of Choice?
Heather - 7 & 7/Half & Half (Guiness and Harp)
Joanna – Yuengling/Long Island Iced Tea
Amy – Vodka with cute juices/Plain vodka or with fruity junk. MATCH!
Danny and Amy win, but the bachelor party goes to Rick and Joanna!
9:06 – The chefs of Pescatore’s Restaurant in Glen Mills are in the studio to talk about being the featured restaurant for 94WYSP’s Dinner Deals. Shila was blown away by their eggplant parm. They’ve got great seafood dishes and a fantastic lunch buffet too. Is lobster ravioli a traditional Italian dish? It’s an American specialty. It’s the sauce that makes it sizzle. They’ve also got amazing pieces of art all over their building. They’ve got great specials during the week that you can use with the Dinner Deal promotion to make out like a bandit. The gift certificates go on sale at 9:30 this morning. 9:55 – Spike will be working and perhaps working out in Danny’s studio today. Spike gets defensive about his crush on Creed. Yesterday he campaigned for them vehemently; it was Amy’s favorite part of the show.
Danny Bonaduce Show 05/07/09
6:02 – Shila is a little edgy today because she hasn’t been sleeping on her inflatable mattress. Danny’s having a long week that’s getting longer. He’ll be attending a Jimmy Fallon drinking party later tonight. Shila will be attending an American Heart Association martini party. Danny admits to being a fan of Real Housewives of New York. He likes their catty nature. He’s started to move out of the rhinestone jeans and cheap jewelry fashion phase. Danny’s father was a writer on One Day At A Time so some of his family’s life would end up on the series. Danny would pay his sister to do his homework, once while she was in a funk because things weren’t going well with her boyfriend. One day at school teachers started being extremely nice to Danny, knowing something was wrong Danny read the homework that he didn’t do. It turned out that his sister had written some androgynous, depressed
6:10 – Sometimes Danny is a dick but he doesn’t mean to be.
1 - He had a tough time while giving a homeless guy some money, as the homeless guy kept saying that he just wanted food. Why was he having a tough time? He had an arm full of sandwiches. That’s why the homeless guy was talking about food.
2 – Danny wears boxer briefs and knee high tube socks which keep his legs from chafing when he wears his cowboy boots. Danny heard Gibbons breaking down cardboard boxes to be recycled. He goes down to tell Gibbons that he should use the dumpster close to the house rather than take the boxes across town. Thinking he’d have some fun with Gibbons he’d start yelling random things at Gibbons as he brought the boxes outside. It suddenly wasn’t so funny when there was a street full of people staring at Danny as he yelled at sweet, innocent Gibbons while wearing nothing but underwear and socks.
3 – Last night while putting the cover on his Harley without a shirt on a guy backed his truck up, got Danny’s attention and then hit a puddle and splashed him with a puddle. Then Amy declined sex for the first time in their relationship.
6:23 – Michelle calls to ask Danny career advice. She’s got an offer to take a job in Nashville, but her mother just had a stroke and she’s an only child. Using a mathematical equation based upon rankings of salary, love of mother, and sense of adventure Danny tells Michelle she should put her mom in a home and move to Nashville.
6:35 – SPORTS: Chan Ho Park allowed only one hit and no runs in six innings last night. But the Phillies lost 1-0 to the Mets after a Pedro Feliz error in the seventh inning.
According to a poll of 324 NHL players published in the latest issue of Sports Illustrated - which hits newsstands today - 5 percent of players thought Scott Hartnell could use a lesson in sensitivity. Anaheim defenseman Chris Pronger and Dallas forward Steve Ott topped the dirtiest player list, with 13 percent each.
An Arsenal fan in soccer-mad Kenya hanged himself wearing his beloved team's shirt after their defeat to Manchester United in the Champions League.
6:48 – Danny asks Shila and Metro the biggest thing they’ve done to impress a boss. Shila was working at MTV while going to Villanova fulltime and commuted from the Mainline to Times Square every day for five months. Danny used to work in Detroit and Chicago at the same time on two different radio stations. While doing a segment for The Other Half he took a shot of botox to the forehead. Danny was always the go-to guy for stunts. The botox worked, but it takes upkeep. Danny also got liposuction on the show. Yesterday Danny found out that he was going to a med spa for a procedure to make him look younger. Danny likes his wrinkles, but the bags under his eyes are something he’s not fond of. Maybe he can get those taken care of without having to go under the knife.
7:01 – News with Shila:
Police are searching for an armed intruder who was found hiding inside a dorm room closet at Swarthmore College. Investigators said a 22-year-old female spotted the suspect hiding in her closet at the Wharton dorm Monday evening.
An alleged scam artist who has been preying on Good Samaritans in Bucks County is in police custody. Suspect Ronald Fayewicz has been placed under arrest and is facing charges. According to police, Fayewicz would approach people in area parking lots, saying he is in need of cash to help pay for a broken down car. This might be a tough case to prosecute because the victims gave the money up voluntarily.
Today is Odd Day. The date is 5/7/09, one of only six this century that will feature three consecutive odd numbers. Ron Gordon, a Redwood City, California, teacher wants you to celebrate Odd Day in a big way. He's offering $579 -- 5-7-9 again -- to those with the most zealous Odd Celebrations. What will number lovers do to celebrate? Will the streets be running wild with number lovers?
Mike the Cop calls to talk about people letting strangers in their car. Recently in his jurisdiction a guy asked a teenage girl for a ride, she allowed him in the car and it turned out to be a very ugly weekend for her.
7:32 – Who Would Win In A Fight: Sharon Osbourne or Rosanne Barr?
Today’s combatants were chosen because Mother’s Day is Sunday. There was no way Danny was doing Carol Brady vs. Shirley Partridge. Metro takes Sharon because she’s got a history of kicking ass. Shila doesn’t like Sharon, she’s the ‘female equivalent of a douche.’ Shila thinks that Roseanne’s trailer park upbringing and size will benefit her. Danny takes Sharon because no one in the room has ever seen Roseanne throw or take a punch. Danny’s seen Sharon get into fights on the VH1 Charm School reunion and her history of violence with Ozzy are the determining factors.
Zoli takes Sharon because she’s wiley. Brady takes Sharon because Roseanne is slow, fat, and tired. Greg takes Roseanne because she’d land some belly flops on Sharon and smother her. Jake thinks that Sharon is a tooth & nail fighting machine and Roseanne is just blubber. Anna takes Roseanne because she was willing to beat her kids and her sister on television and she has monster periods.
7:47 – Pat takes Roseanne because of her trailer park past and she knows she’s fat and ugly, she’s got nothing to lose. Ron takes Sharon because she deals with The Prince of Darkness. Pat takes Roseanne because of the movie She Devil. Ken takes Sharon because Ozzy bit the head off a bat. Aaron takes Sharon because she never left her man in tough times and she has heart. Nate takes Sharon because Roseanne would run her mouth about Ozzy and set Sharon off. Angus takes Sharon. Michelle takes Roseanne because she’s flat out crazy. Tallying the votes Sharon takes the phone calls with a 2:1 ratio and 71% of the text votes.
8:01 – Pick Your Tickets! Green Day or Creed tickets are up for grabs. They'll all have a Mother's Day theme to them. This singer’s mother had an appetite for conception, having him at just 16 years of age. Axl Rose!
8:07 – Entertainment News:
"American Idol" finalist Allison Iraheta has a reason to cry. The flame-haired 17-year-old high school student from Los Angeles, who crooned "Cry Baby" for her rock performance this week, was revealed Wednesday to have received the fewest viewer votes, leaving three singers in the popular Fox singing competition.
Aerosmith with special guest ZZ Top are gonna wreak rock n’ roll havoc this summer on a massive US tour! And you could be the opening act. Two worthy fans will perform playing Guitar Hero: Aerosmith on stage as the opening act before the show roars onto the stage– one winner from online and one from radio will be chosen in each city. Guitar Hero face off. Who’s going to show up early to see this? Danny was offended when he walked by a bar the other night and there was an air guitar competition. At least Danny had the decenty to hold a bass when he pretended to play it.
Ryan Reynolds wanted a Deadpool movie, and now he's getting it. Fox has green-lit a spin-off of Reynolds' X-Men Origins: Wolverine character into a starring vehicle for the actor. A wisecracking mercenary dying of cancer, Deadpool cures himself of the disease with the same Mutant X genetic alteration that transforms Wolverine. Deadpool's mouth was sewn shut in Wolverine, but he will live to mouth off again in the new film.
8:31 – Mr. Skin is on the show right now. Today’s topic: Top 10 Sexiest Mother/Daughter Combos! Mother’s Day is Sunday and the Top 10 MILFs wasn’t much of a challenge, but this was. Danny has had sex with one of the 20 women on the list. Mr. Skin asks if it’s Carol Conners. Nope.
10. Janet Leigh and her daughter Jamie Lee Curtis
9. Marlène Jobert and her daughter Eva Green
8. Carol Connors and her daughter Thora Birch
7. Jayne Mansfield and her daughter Mariska Hargitay
6. Nastassja Kinski and her daughter Sonja Kinski
5. Meredith Baxter and her Family Ties TV daughter Justine Bateman
4. Lisa Bonet and her daughter Zoe Kravitz
3. Jaid Barrymore and her daughter Drew Barrymore
2. Blythe Danner and her daughter Gwyneth Paltrow
1. Goldie Hawn and her daughter Kate Hudson
Mr. Skin takes another guess: Jaid Berrymore. RIGHT! It happened at a Studio 54 re-opening and they ended up in a hotel room together. Mr. Skin might have to add a ‘Celebrity’s Danny’s Had Sex With’ to his site.
8:53 – Spike is in the studio early today to talk to Danny. Spike will be playing donkey basketball with Metro soon. Danny’s played it many times in his ‘has been’ life. Spike was in disbelief that it’s a real ‘sport.’ The donkeys wear rubber shoes so they don’t scuff up the basketball court. The donkeys they use are generally on their way to retirement so they’re not going to be real rowdy, though you can’t really control them. Metro wants a good donkey; he could be in jeopardy of coveting Spike’s ass.
9:03 – Carl calls in to talk donkey basketball. He says they’re not as small as Danny thinks they are. Danny’s been playing donkey basketball for over 20 years. Zoli calls to say he played donkey basketball in high school, but it’s common to use burrows instead of real donkeys. Spike and Metro will be on the faculty team playing against the school band.
9:28 – News with Shila:
Reports of problems with water-tainted gasoline in southern New Castle County spread Tuesday with more people coming forward and another popular fill-up spot acknowledging that some of its customers also were victims. So far, the bad gasoline appears to only have been distributed to stations south of the Chesapeake & Delaware Canal and may have come from the Valero Energy Corp.'s refinery outside of Delaware City.
A Camden County church suffered extensive damage after a school bus barreled into its side Wednesday afternoon. Police said the bus crashed into New Horizons Church on Evesham Road in Voorhees. The force of the crash sent the bus partially into the church, leaving a gaping hole.
Lawmakers voted in favor of same-sex marriage in New Hampshire and Maine on Wednesday, leaving Rhode Island as the only other New England state without legislation in favor of the issue. This reminds Danny of the beginnings of the Civil War.
The French spend more time sleeping and eating than their counterparts in economically developed countries but Norwegians get top prize for time spent on leisure, a new study by the OECD said. Americans are second on the list with just over 8 hours of sleep a night, but no Americans on this radio show. Danny’s lived in quite a few places and is well traveled. Rome, Mexico and the Caribbean are places he’s had good times. He’s never been to Paris though. Shila didn’t care for the attitude of the French. Singapore is ruthless. Shila liked how clean it was, but just about everything is a crime.
9:52 – Danny is pleasantly surprised that there’s a big buzz around the Creed concert. Spike notes that they’ve sold over 40 million records and always sold out their shows whenever they played here in Philly. Scott Stapp has done some pretty rock star stuff like sex tapes with Kid Rock and collapsing on stage at a show in Chicago that lead to a law suit by the audience. Why are people upset about Creed when Vince Neil took out Razzle from Hanoi Rocks?
Danny had an interesting interaction with Morrissey in Rome. Danny and his wife were at a hotel when she noticed him and asked Danny to go break the ice which was bizarre because Morrisey spoke English infused with mouth-made sound effects. So he was a little tough to understand, but they got along well enough.
Danny Bonaduce Show 05/06/09
6:01 – Who thought it was a good idea to send Danny to bars last night for Cinco de Mayo? He was out on a bar crawl last night for Danny de Mayo that could have ended badly. To start the night he ran into a wasted Metro who had two root beer float martinis that put him to bed early. There’s a rumor going around that Danny threatened to punch the Promotions Director, Chris Johnson, two months ago, but that never happened. But now he just might. The problem was that all the bars were packed already, so there was no room for the group that arrived at the bars, so it was pretty tight. Danny had a good time though and had his ass grabbed by lots of ladies though.
6:10 – Before going out Danny had some plumbing work done when suddenly the grocery delivery service showed up. Danny lifted a slew of groceries up to the kitchen on the third floor, getting a workout. Then UPS shows up with more heavy packages. The packages were furniture for the new house. Danny’s not so good at building furniture so he took a nap while Amy put it all together. Feeling riddled with guilt he was going to bring Amy’s scooter to work this morning to charge the battery. He was right, the battery needed charging, and he was ready to take off, gunning the throttle to take to the street when the scooter suddenly stopped and he hit his sack on the handle bars. The scooter was still chained to a post and he already put the keys for that in through the mail slot in the front door. Double whammy!
6:34 – SPORTS: The starting rotation has a combined earned run average of 6.54. Despite that, the Phils have won eight of their last 10 and now rest in first place of the NL East for the first time this season. Citing an anonymous source "with direct knowledge of the discussions between the two parties," ESPN reported Tuesday that quarterback Brett Favre is scheduled to meet with Minnesota Vikings coach Brad Childress later this week about a possible comeback. Why tarnish the legacy?
After getting the boot on The Celebrity Apprentice, it looks like Dennis Rodman's next venture will be a familiar one: rehab. The former NBA star, who has battled addiction for years, has agreed to enter an outpatient program where he'll regularly see a counselor. Of course Donald Trump wants him to appear on the Celebrity Apprentice reunion show before he goes to rehab. How thoughtful.
6:54 – Is Jeff the Program Director trying to kill Danny? After Danny de Mayo Danny has to go to about 20 bar appearances through the end of the month. Danny won’t miss work though, he’s unstoppable!
7:04 – News with Shila:
Police are looking for a man who they say impersonated an officer in a South Jersey retirement community. Gloucester Township police say the man, who identified himself as "Detective Bill," told a resident of Shenandoah Village that he wanted to conduct a safety check to prevent possible burglaries. Police say the man displayed a silver badge around his neck. Once you’re in start robbing, don’t wait to get caught.
When her husband shot her five years ago, Connie Culp was left without a nose, a palate or lower eyelids, but now she has revealed her new face. Culp's was the world's first near-total facial transplant and the fourth known facial transplant to have been successfully performed to date. It’s better than it was but it ain’t great.
In Lincoln Park, Michigan, a 17-year-old called 911 when her father (recovering at home from brain surgery) had a seizure. Her first call didn't go through, so the panicked girl hung up and tried again. While the phone was still ringing, the girl said "what the f***." Apparently 911 calls are recorded even while the phone is ringing, so the police officer heard her say it. When the officer answered the call, he was only interested in the fact that the girl said "f***" and wouldn't help the girl. Instead, he swears at her and hangs up. After the girl places several more calls to 911 trying to explain that her father was about to die, the officer finally called the fire department with a fabricated version of what happened. Eventually, the girl gets arrested and jailed by the police for a crime that isn't on the books. Danny thinks everyone involved in this story is a jerk. The operator was insensitive and the girl should have put her issues aside to get the ambulance there. Danny had the police show up at his house a few times after accidental dialings. The officers demanded that he produce his family. The second incident Danny was whisked off to jail without questions because his wife was crying at the time.
7:32 - Amazing Race Host Phil Keoghan is on the show. He’s bicycling across the country to raise awareness for MS. He’s in Baltimore now and is on his way to New York City. Phil’s also written books and some world records too. He did a bungee jump with nine guys off a suspension bridge. Phil’s lived in over 100 countries too. Phil’s next journey? Could be space, just not with Lance Bass. You can join Phil in his ride here in Philly!
7:49 – Danny’s Sexual Fun Facts!
Graham crackers were created to reduce sexual libido in 1829 because it was thought that spicy foods got you horny.
French Kissing is good for your teeth because the extra saliva prevents plaque.
Women buy 4 out of every 10 condoms sold. Danny buys feminine products for Amy, so it’s no big deal that women buy them for their man. When Danny was married he wouldn’t go all the way with women that weren’t his wife because he didn’t want to bring home something he didn’t leave with.
Women who continue their education after high school are open to ‘experimenting.’ Not for Shila who has a masters.
For it’s size the human tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Danny believes that and works his out regularly.
8:01 – Pick Your Tickets! Green Day or Creed tickets are up for grabs. They'll all have a Mother's Day theme to them. What Pink Floyd memeber plays the role of mother in the song ‘Mother’? David Gilmour!
8:09 – Entertainment News:
Dom DeLuise, 75, the rotund comic actor whose frequent television appearances in the 1960s and 1970s helped propel a career in films in which he often teamed with director Mel Brooks and actor Burt Reynolds, died May 4 at a hospital in Santa Monica, Calif. Danny is surprised he lasted that long with all the weight he put on.
Filming of American Idol was thrown into chaos on Tuesday after a crew member plunged from a staircase onset. Stage manager Debbie Williams fell from the platform just two hours before cameras were due to start rolling on the live show. Shila watched last night and was impressed by Adam’s performance of Zeppelin’s ‘Whole Lotta Love.’ Danny was not. Allison performed ‘Cry Baby’ by Janis Joplin, not so good Danny thought. He wanted to buy the apartment that Janis Joplin died in, but lost out in an insane bidding war.
Just two days after Hugh Jackman's domination of the box office comes the rather unsurprising word that a follow-up to the origin story is already in the works. According to Variety, the sequel, which will mark Jackman's fifth time donning the killer claws, will focus on the X-Men comic's samurai storyline, the Japanese locale setup for which is teased after the blockbuster film's end credits.
Women's wear designer Jack McCollough found that out the hard way when he cut between Jack's alter-ego, Kiefer Sutherland, and Brooke Shields as they were schmoozing at a SoHo nightspot and got a whopping head-butt from the "24" star, police said. Some witnesses said McCollough, co-founder of the white-hot Proenza Schouler label, suffered a broken nose in the bell-ringing Tuesday morning at SubMercer, but he told cops all he got was a small cut on his schnoz. Danny loves a drunk Kiefer. Always a good time.
8:40 – Danny will be hosting the Ultimate Bachelor Party at Delilah’s on the 16th. Danny never got his own bachelor party because he married his wives the day he met them. He did throw a party for a friend in Chicago where the girls working broke out vegetables a WHOLE lot and used them on themselves all night. That’s the moment it went wrong. Later in the night someone threw one of the gourds and it ended up hitting one of the girls in the head and laying her out. The security freak out until they realized it was thrown by someone on the Chicago Bears. Kevin calls to say that if you rent vans, get the insurance! Metro got in a dress and did a poll dance after two drinks at a bachelor party once.
8:50 – Danny’s girlfriend Amy will be attending the bachelor party. She received multiple calls from the station and the bar inviting her to participate. It could be that the people in charge want Danny on a short leash at Delilah’s. She has plenty ideas on how to keep the fun up. Danny’s like a ‘get out of jail free card.’ Whatever you do, he’ll do worse. Matt calls to say that he was at a club in Reading where he and his friends were throwing quarters and dimes at the dancer. She didn’t appreciate it.
9:31 – News with Shila:
A bungee jumping, ostrich-riding British charity worker was named Wednesday the winner of what's been dubbed the "Best Job in the World" — a 150,000 Australian dollar ($111,000) contract to serve as the caretaker of a tropical Australian island. Ben Southall, 34, beat out nearly 35,000 applicants from around the world for the dream assignment to swim, explore and relax on Hamilton Island in the Great Barrier Reef for six months while writing a blog to promote the area. Danny’s first fantasy is to sail around the world. The second fantasy is the island life.
The directors of the Miss California USA pageant are looking into whether title holder Carrie Prejean violated her contract by working with a national group opposed to same-sex marriage and by posing semi-nude when she was a teenage model. This woman’s hypocrisy reminds Danny of his ex-wife.
Poking through antiques stores while traveling through the Texas Panhandle, Bill Waters stumbled across a tattered old ledger book filled with formulas. He bought it for $200, suspecting that he could resell it for five times that. The Tulsa, Okla., man eventually discovered that the book came from the Waco, Texas, drugstore where Dr Pepper was invented and includes a recipe titled "D Peppers Pepsin Bitters."
9:55 – Spike is worn out from staying up late last night. He’ll get no sympathy from Danny de Mayo. He was out late last night, he’ll be out tomorrow for a Jimmy Fallon watching party, and his fiancée has plans for a big drinking night on Friday. Expect to hear about Danny being rushed to an emergency room with alcohol poisoning soon!
10:01 – Danny’s Final Thought: When at a gentlemen’s club , even if you wish to top $10 or $20, don’t do it in quarters.
Danny Bonaduce Show 05/05/09
6:02 – It’s Danny De Mayo! Is Danny growing up, growing old, or is it just cold out? Danny was going to walk the short way to work, down an alley, when he ran into a German Shepherd on the loose. The first thing Danny did was look for a weapon for defense. The dog let out a low growl. Danny knows how to fight a dog, but he wasn’t so fond of getting bit. Previously Danny would have glowed with the notion that he would have a great story to tell about an altercation with a dog, but not today. The story isn’t worth it to him anymore. Shila thinks that he’s growing up. Metro thinks he’s not growing up because he just wrestled in a steel cage. It’s just cold. Danny knows that it’s because it’s cold. A junkie tried to rob him in Times Square years ago, but Danny threatened to hit him with the suitcase he was carrying, which scared the would be mugger off. He didn’t want to get hit because it was cold out. After all that Danny tripped over a unicycle in the hallway of the station today.
6:33 – SPORTS: Ryan Howard hit is second grand slam of the season and seventh of his career not only tied Mike Schmidt for first place in Phillies history, but to propel the Phillies over the Cardinals.
A 39-year-old woman who lives in the same condo building as Eagles quarterback A.J. Feeley has been arrested and charged with stalking and harassing him. Ayesha Muzaffar is charged with two misdemeanors for which she faces a hearing May 15 in Common Pleas Court, according to criminal-court records. Muzaffar was arrested on similar charges in 2001, records show.
A Mexican footballer has been banned for spitting and blowing nasal secretions at an opponent then telling him he had swine flu. "At around the 90th minute of the game, Reynoso, following an incident in the game, reacted by spitting at Everton player Sebastian Penco and then releasing nasal secreations at the face of the player," said the CSF in a statement.
6:45 – Danny took some over the counter sublingual fat burners, the kind that you should allow to melt in mouth, but he never waits for it to melt. He had a bad taste in his mouth, so he chased it down with an energy drink. Now his heart is racing. Yesterday he went to Norristown Fire Station B looking to deliver 20 Papa John’s pizzas for Hometown Heroes, but there were no firemen there. They were out helping people, being heroes. Danny waited around for the guys to get back, so he polished off a whole pie by himself. It turns out the guys were called to contain what was thought to be a loose electrical line, but it was a fiber optic line. Danny made a joke about saving Cinemax that didn’t go over that well. It turns out that they thought it was a prank from another firehouse when they were told that Danny was delivering pizzas yesterday.
7:05 – News with Shila:
A fugitive con artist dubbed the 'Hipster Grifter' surrendered to Philadelphia Police on charges she scammed victims out of thousands of dollars. Kari Ferrell, 22, faces nearly $60,000 in felony fraud warrants after a series of scheme that made her one of Salt Lake City, Utah's most wanted.
A former housekeeper at a suburban Philadelphia hotel has been found guilty of stealing cash and gift checks from a bride and groom who held their wedding reception at the hotel last September. A Montgomery County judge convicted 34-year-old Albert Mays on Monday of theft and receiving stolen property. The only thing Danny has worth stealing is his belt buckle collection.
President Obama on Monday called for curbing offshore tax havens and corporate tax breaks to collect billions of dollars more from multinational companies and wealthy individuals. Danny would love to know how to hide money from his wife with overseas accounts. Maybe he can find out how to do it on youtube.
A new pro football team has try outs next Wednesday, but the required uniform is skimpy. The newly formed Lingerie Football League will have a Philadelphia franchise, the Passion, officials announced over the weekend. The team will practice in Downingtown and play its home games at the Sovereign Bank Arena in Trenton late this year. The Tampa Breeze sound likes a women’s hygiene product. Danny wants to try out. If they cut him from the team he’ll sue.
7:33 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
Stephanie, 25, calls to say that her boyfriend of the past few years and he will get mean when he drinks. He’s not a full blown alcoholic, but he lashes out at her. He doesn’t remember the emotional abuse the next day. She goes on to say it only happens on weekends. Danny tells her to get ready for it to happen on weekdays and physical abuse is coming quick. This guy is clinically depressed too? RUN Stephanie. Get away from him.
James, 15, calls because he wants revenge on another boy who was spreading rumors about him at school. Danny tells him to go to the adult in charge, don’t take it into your own hands. At a boarding school the adults there have make sure the kids are safe there, if his safety is in jeopardy they’ll have to act and act quickly.
7:46 – Miles calls to say that he takes percosets and vicodins after work to numb him from the pain of his job. Miles chokes down about 15 pills a day. Danny went to rehab with people that took up to 55 pills a day. If Miles doesn’t want to go to rehab Danny thinks that he can shake it. When he goes cold turkey he’ll feel lots of pain, but after two days he’ll be fine. Years ago Danny was a coke head and ordered the concierge to hold an envelope with orders not to give them back until the next day. He then proceeded to chain himself to the heater in the hotel room so he was sober when he did the Geraldo show.
Barbara, 38, is a single mom of four children. She let two of her sons live with her ex-husband and when they moved back with her they became little jerks and threaten her. Danny says to call the cops because they’re threatening her and through the process they’ll be given two choices, a little time in juvie or straightening up.
Tamma calls in to say that he’s been on hormones for 9 months in an effort to become a woman. The problem is he’s got a fiancée in Tokyo. Tamma still likes women, but the Tokyo girl wants a man and children in her life. Danny tells Tamma to take some time and think about it. The problem isn’t the girl in Toyko, it’s whether he wants to be a woman or not.
8:01 – Pick Your Tickets! Green Day or Creed tickets are up for grabs. They'll all have a Mother's Day theme to them. The song ‘Mama I’m Coming Home’ was written by Ozzy and who? Lemmy from Motorhead!
8:09 – Entertainment News:
Nine Inch Nails ' main man Trent Reznor has gotten engaged to Mariqueen Maadig of the band West Indian Girl . The news was announced on West Indian Girl's website over the weekend.
A publicist for The White Stripes says drummer Meg White is engaged to musician Jackson Smith, the son of punk singer Patti Smith and late MC5 guitarist Fred "Sonic" Smith. This leads to a debate about Patti Smith and Patty Smyth. Danny saw one of them throw Shaun Cassidy out of a show years ago because Shaun just wasn’t cool enough to be there.
Sting's teenage daughter Coco is recovering in a Los Angeles hospital after fracturing her skull in a freak accident. Coco Sumner, 18, remains in an intensive care ward after collapsing in an L.A. restaurant last weekend and hitting her head on a chair as she fell to the ground.
Shia LaBeouf has reportedly revealed that he finds his mother to be the 'sexiest' woman he knows. According to Star magazine, the 22-year-old revealed during an interview conducted by Playboy magazine some unusual thoughts about his mother. "Probably the sexiest woman I know is my mother," Fox News quoted him as saying. "She's an ethereal angel. Nobody looks like that woman. If I could meet my mother and marry her, I would. I would be with my mother now, if she weren't my mother, as sick as that sounds," he said. He was just trying to compliment his mom, but it came off awful.
Dennis Rodman reportedly wants to do some work for TNA now that he saw Danny Bonaduce take part in the Lockdown PPV. He was recently in Florida with Jeremy Borash. Rodman and Bonaduce were part of Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling reality show, with Rodman winning the series. Wants to work for TNA? This could be Danny’s chance to beat Rodman’s ass!
8:35 – Scott Stapp and Mark Tremonti of Creed are on the show, they’re coming to the Susquehanna Bank Center in Camden on August 13th. Danny digs Creed and asks about the backlash about the perception that they’re a Christian band. Scott has strong beliefs in his faith, but the band wasn’t outright Christian. Danny totally understands that. Was there a rift between Mark and Scott? There were tough times, lines of communication were broken down, but it was the ability to reflect and concentrate on the present that brought them back together. They were on a break like Ross and Rachel. They’re working on a new album that’s due out this August. Is there a Scott Stapp sex tape? Scott says there isn’t one, but it’s a popular rumor. Their August 13th show in Camden is on Danny’s birthday and they promise to do something special for Danny, male strippers!
8:53 - Danny’s been reading the Craigslist personal ads for fun lately. The first is for a white guy with brown hair, no tattoos, who’s into metaphysics who doesn’t want to get responses from people who are bipolar, been married, have kids, a police record, drug or alcohol issues. Shila checks the alcohol issues box. Danny checks all of them. Upon seeing all of his checkmarks Danny might not date himself. Danny got so good at being finger printed at police stations he’d teach old cops new techniques.
9:04 – Danny saw a guy with a girl way out of his league, but the guy didn’t look like he had money. What would score a guy a girl like that? Danny determined that he was a slave to her and would do anything to please her. Danny is a slave to his girlfriend Amy. Danny threatened to break up with her and she chuckled. She asked if he was serious, he said yes, then she asked how he’d replace her. She asked where he’s going to find a girl who can do all the things she does. The answer is nowhere.
Danny is indebted to Amy, but she does all the work. His new house is actually in her name. Girls like Amy who are willing to tolerate Danny and work hard are not common at all. Danny doesn’t like being a slave, but he needs someone to keep him on a leash. Maybe he should just keep the status quo and not ruin a good thing.
9:18 – During the break a flood of listeners called in to say that Danny should just keep his mouth shut. He’s better off not rocking the boat. He just lost a fight to Amy that she wasn’t even in.
9:32 – News with Shila:
Police said an argument over a game of beer pong led one man to fatally shoot another in the neck in Montgomery County over the weekend. Bridgeport police and Montgomery County prosecutors announced Monday that they had filed first-degree murder, third-degree murder and related charges against Joseph Brian Jimenez, 24. Danny plays with a bounce; Shila’s a dedicated no-bounce beer pong player. Danny takes calls from the audience, 3 for bouncing, 1 for no bounce and 1 for both.
There are new charges in the Craigslist attacks. Rhode Island authorities have issued an arrest warrant for Philip Markoff, who is in a Boston jail already facing murder and assault charges.
The strip of a pillowcase stained with the blood of Abraham Lincoln is usually locked away in a display case or safe at the Grand Army of the Republic Museum and Library in the city's Frankford section. But last night it was brought out as Exhibit A during a debate among members of the museum's board over whether to allow DNA testing of the relic to solve a medical mystery. Danny is a wealth of Abraham Lincoln knowledge. Height, weight, the place he was shot, the play he was watching, rumors about his sexual preference. Danny knows it all. He would win big at Abraham Lincoln Jeopardy! Could testing his blood affect history at all? Maybe there’s reluctance to test the blood to preserve the pillow case.
Winfield Township supervisor Glenn Nagle revealed at a meeting Thursday that every one of the township's road signs was stolen in a 48-hour period beginning April 6. The township has since spent about $4,000 replacing the aluminum signs. Danny’s dad whipped his ass once because he found a stop sign on Danny’s wall as a kid. He wanted Danny to think about the people that weren’t stopping since the sign was on his wall.
9:58 – Sometimes Spike likes to make promos for his show just to make Danny laugh. He’s as local as Ben Franklin and the Liberty Bell. He will dazzle you with rock and banter today.
10:02 – Danny’s Final Thought: Ben Franklin’s biggest accomplishment was dying here so Spike could sound local.
Danny Bonaduce Show 05/04/09
6:01 – Danny thinks that Spike could be the toughest man in the world? Danny went to Spike’s gym in the morning in the hopes that he’d find Spike working out and they could do some weightlifting in the morning. Sure enough he was on a treadmill at 4:30am. The monitor said that he was on his 21st mile. If he punched Danny in the face he could get away with it because he could run away…for 21 miles.
6:05 – Over the weekend Danny taped a segment for a new show ‘Celebrity Apologies.’ Danny ruined a few lives. Danny doesn’t think he’s a good actor, but he can cry on demand. Danny ran through some tough memories with the water works that had the television crew breaking down too, but the producer, a good friend of Danny’s, didn’t care about emotions and just wanted to get good television. Which he succeeded in.
6:28 – SPORTS: Cole Hamels will probably pitch Friday against the Braves. A 33-year-old Dallas Cowboys staff member was left paralyzed and two other team staffers remain hospitalized after Saturday's practice facility collapse, which is now the subject of a federal Occupational Safety and Health Administration investigation, authorities said.
Ricky Hatton's father said his son would not hurry a decision on whether to retire after Manny Pacquiao knocked him out in the second round of their 140-pound title fight Saturday in Las Vegas. After being knocked down twice in the opening round, the 30-year-old Briton (45-2) was flattened in the second by Pacquiao's left cross. Shila watched the fight with Gibbons and super fight fan Mama Gibbons. It was over before she could finish her first beer. Jose Canseco will make his MMA debut on May 26 in Japan against South Korean Hong Man Choi as part of the Dream 9 card at Yokohama Arena. The 7-foot-2, 330-pound Hoi has a 1-2 career professional record. Danny was surprised how much Canseco’s punches hurt, but when fighting a seven-footer, go for the knees!
6:46 – Metro went to the Philly Friction party without his girlfriend, but brought a microphone and recording device. Depending on who you talk to, Metro’s girlfriend was just not cool with going, or she didn’t want to go with him because he was ‘the guy with the microphone.’ He saw enough sex to last him for a while. Danny and his girlfriend Amy attended as well, he noticed that all the men spend a lot of time at the gym too. Danny was having a good time, saw some boobs, but no sex. Danny was hoping to get Amy a little tipsy in hopes that she’ll open up and go for some girl on girl action. While Amy was getting some friendly attention from three girls, another girl came up to Danny and said she felt bad that Danny was left out and gave him a kiss. That’s when all hell broke loose and ripped into Danny. While trying to diffuse the situation Danny ends up on the dance floor with the kissing girl, while trying to pry himself from the grip of the kissing girl on the dance floor he knocked Amy in the face with an elbow because she was standing right behind him. She knew it was an accident, but they decided to leave the party because her lip was blowing up. There was no full on sex on the dance floor, that doesn’t happen at these parties. However there was lots of sexy girl on girl dancing, which was enough to start Danny’s motor.
7:06 – News with Shila:
Gov. Rendell announced yesterday Pennsylvania's first confirmed case of swine flu after receiving the test results of a 31-year-old Mexican man who had recently arrived in Montgomery County to work as a landscaper. Danny wants his own strain of flu now.
Hundreds of gay rights demonstrators marched through the streets of the city's historic center on Sunday carrying rainbow-colored flags and signs calling for equal rights in marriage, in the workplace and in health care.
An Alabama man with a bullet wound in his shoulder told police he shot himself by accident while sleeping with a 40-caliber handgun. Capt. Lloyd Baker of the Tuscaloosa Metro Homicide Unit said the man's life was not in danger. Who sleeps with a gun under their pillow? Someone that’s scared.
7:31 – It’s now time to review Friday’s Neighborhood Hotties finals from Delco. See the photos here. Danny spent a good portion of the evening flirting with a 6’5”, lifting and motorboating her. Danny goes through the first section of the evening, the Q&A. Next up is the talent portion. Leeanne does a backwards flip with Danny’s help. Melanie shotguns a beer. Carrie shows off her hulahoop skills. Amanda ties a cherry stem in a knot with her mouth. Now it’s time for the swimsuit competition. Danger! A fight breaks out in the crowd. The winner is: Amanda!
Danny broke his three drink maximum on Friday because he was having such a good time. Danny reads a letter from a listener that was impressed with the way Danny lifted the 6’5” woman. The staff at W.C. Murphy’s was making bets as to whether Danny would be able to get her up. No problem! Friday wasn't the only time he broke his three drink rule over the weekend. Danny was also at Nick’s Roastbeef over the weekend and got into a drinking contest with the bartender.
8:01 – Pick Your Tickets! Green Day or Creed tickets are up for grabs. They'll all have a Mother's Day theme to them. What Aerosmith song title with Mama in the title does Steven Tyler have on his arm? Mam Kin.
8:07 – Entertainment News:
"X-Men Origins: Wolverine" slashed its rivals at box offices over the weekend with a $160 million worldwide debut, leaping to No. 1 on ticket charts in a solid start to Hollywood's summer.
David Hasselhoff was rushed to an L.A. hospital after suffering alcohol poisoning Saturday. The former Baywatch star was taken to Cedars-Sinai medical center after his daughter Hayley, 16, found him unconscious on the floor of his home in Encino, California. Strike 1: Being found drunk. Strike 2: Being found by his teenage daughter. Strike 3: New wife calls the ex-wife for help.
Jimmy Buffett has accepted a business role with new Miami Dolphins owner and longtime friend Stephen Ross. The team was mum Friday on details, despite reports that Dolphin Stadium might be renamed "Landshark Stadium" for at least one season. One reason Jimmy makes so much money is he limits his traveling expenses by hiring local musicians for the day when on tour, just like Chuck Berry.
Jenny McCarthy is poised to become the next star in Oprah Winfrey’s media empire. McCarthy has inked a multi-year deal with Winfrey’s Harpo Prods to develop projects on different platforms, including a syndicated talk show that the actress/author would host. Danny thinks this relationship will work. He didn’t think Rachel Ray would last, but she’s still around.
8:33 – The Art of Maniless:
Today’s lesson is how to remove a bra without looking like an idiot.
First step is to investigate if she’s wearing a bra. Is she wearing a bra that clips in the back, and if so is it a Buick sized bra with three clasps. If you tug for too long while trying to remove the bra it will stop the night dead in it’s tracks. Sports bras involve more effort by her though. Front clasp in bras can be scary, but they’re easy, just tug forward, squeeze the clasp and you’re good to go.
Shila volunteer to be Danny’s guinea pig for the rear clasping bra. First try is over the shirt, without having to go under, with one hand. Danny then displays the two hand technique. Shila has soft skin. Danny can do either in less than two seconds. Being confident helps Shila says.
Joey calls to as about the side clasp bras. Those are very rare. They work like the front-loader.
8:52 - Over the weekend Metro planned to talk to a guy about stepping up to take care of his baby after the expecting mother was worried he wouldn’t do what was needed. No confrontation was necessary. All went well at the baby shower and the ladies loved him at the baby shower.
Shila’s a fan of rough sex. That scares Danny because he doesn’t want to cross the wrong boundaries and hurt anyone. Shila likes to be pushed up against the wall, pushed onto the bed. She likes the factory sex scene in ‘8 Mile.’ Danny goes through some moves with Shila to gauge what she likes. He pushes her up against the wall and holds her up. If that’s what counts as rough sex then he’s a big fan. He might need to increase his stamina though. Steve calls to say that it’s called ‘aggressive passion.’
9:05 – Two guys named Pat are on the phone to talk about rough sex. Pat 1 brings up that safety words are needed. Pat 2 thinks that Shila’s definition of rough sex is more like passionate sex. She held back a little, hair pulling is a fine line. If Danny pulled his ex-wife’s hair it would come out in his hands because all of hers is fake. Danny doesn’t have a lot of sensation in his scalp, Shila tugs at his hair, but he doesn’t fell it. Getting into a fight with a ponytail is asking for an ass kicking if you’re a guy. Danny created devices that would train his head to get used to the pain. Frank is a big fan of rough sex, and has had many girlfriends that love the domination. Marge, the 6’5” woman who Danny was flirting with at Friday’s Neighborhood Hotties event. She was surprised that Danny put her up on his shoulders. Some guy tried to pick her up a few years ago and wasn’t able to get her up, it didn’t make her happy. Danny would love to climb and conquer Marge.
9:33 – News with Shila:
Two Police officers daringly rescued two children from a burning home in North Philadelphia Saturday morning. A house on the 2200 block of North 19th reportedly caught fire around 10 a.m., trapping two young girls inside.
Jack Kemp, the former pro quarterback who turned fame on the gridiron into a career in national politics and a crusade for lower taxes, has died of cancer at age 73. Danny doesn’t know a lot about sports, but he does believe that Fidel Castro played minor league ball for the Orioles.
A two-year-old girl who can name 35 capital cities has become the youngest member to join high IQ society, Mensa. Elise Tan Roberts, from Edmonton, north London, has an IQ of 156 and can recite the English alphabet, count to 10 in Spanish and name types of triangles. Danny could beat her in a crossword puzzle and he’s dyslexic. Danny’s been to two MENSA parties and was bored out of his mind. A high IQ doesn’t mean you’re smart, it means that you just have the aptitude to learn.
A pilot walked away from a crash landing in Washington state when a field full of portable toilets cushioned the impact on the ground for his small plane. The 67-year-old pilot had just taken off when his engine stopped.
10:00 - Danny's Final Thought: You never want to judge by it’s cover when it’s going to let you take that cover off. And watch your elbows during sex.
Danny Bonaduce Show 05/01/09
6:01 – Danny was impressed with Shila at yesterday’s Call for the Cure on CBS3. She and Danny were on to raise money for breast cancer research. Right before they were going to go live on television Danny was having a minor meltdown while Shila was calm cool and collected. Danny was prepared for Shila to have a Kramer moment, but the tables were turned on live TV. The telethon auctioned off dinner with Danny to raise funds, and while having a discussion with a director about the plan, Danny joked with him and got ‘this isn’t Hollywood’ shot back at him. Danny also mentioned to the guy that his dinner would be sold before the segment was over; it was sold five times in that span. That means lots of food for Danny and lots of money for cancer research.
6:11 – Danny thought it was Thursday this morning because he’s been so busy and had so many houseguests that he just wasn’t sure if it was late night or early morning. A few years ago he woke up at 6:10 once, thought he was late for his morning show and called the station demanding to go on the air. That’s when Ryan Seacrest’s voice he realized that it was 6:10 in the evening, and not 6:10 the next morning.
6:39 – SPORTS: Magic eliminated the Sixers without Dwight Howard, who is not such a good speller on Twitter. Congenital amputee Kyle Maynard lost his first mixed martial arts fight to Bryan Fry on a 30-27 judges' decision Saturday night. Danny had a few matches is contact karate tournaments against a guy who had cerebral palsy who beat him a few times.
6:53 – Shila and her friend were talking about Danny last night when her friend abruptly asked how man women Danny’s been with and got into a discussion about his sex life. She wanted names! The list includes Joan Jett, Jodie Sweetin, and….more? Danny Shila’s friend wants to meet Danny and talk to him about his sexual exploits. Danny is certain this is an invitation to bone. Shila wants Danny to name names. The first girl Danny kissed was Jodie Foster; if they fought over Joan Jett then Jodie might win.
7:05 – News with Shila: Driving while on a hand-held cell phone is officially illegal in Philadelphia. Mayor Nutter, Thursday, signed a law banning the devices for drivers, bicylcists, skateboarders, even people on scooters. Enforcement won't begin until November. Police say they need a few months to gear up, then a three month period where they'll just be issuing warnings.
U.S. authorities are pledging to eventually produce enough swine flu vaccine for everyone but the shots couldn't begin until fall at the earliest. Worries about the spread of the virus mounted Thursday as the nation's swine flu caseload passed 100, and nearly 300 schools closed in communities across the country. Federal officials had to spend much of the day reassuring the public it's still safe to fly and ride public transportation after Vice President Joe Biden said he wouldn't recommend it to his family. How is this any different from the normal flu?
A man in Seattle, Washington, was arrested Wednesday and charged with conspiracy to commit murder in the second degree. Shawn Tyler Skelton, 24, was busted after allegedly posting an ad on popular Web site Craigslist seeking someone to have sex with and then kill. Shila likes rough sex, but she doesn’t want to be choked or have any bruises. She likes being thrown up against the wall, but she’s frail.
An 8-year-old Saudi girl has divorced her middle-aged husband after her father forced her to marry him last year in exchange for about $13,000, her lawyer said Thursday. Saudi Arabia has come under increasing criticism at home and abroad for permitting child marriages.
7:19 – Chiffon calls in to say that her favorite rough sex scene in ‘Unfaithful.’ Shila gets excited about it, ‘that’s soooo hot!’ Danny wanted to scar up Olivier Martinez on the spot while watching that movie. Pat calls to say that the sex on the stairs scene in ‘A History of Violence’ is one he likes, Shila loves that scene. That’s the kind of sex she wants, but she has to be willing to have sex to do that though. Pregnancy and disease freak her out, so she’ll inflate condoms before using them to make sure that they’re not ripped.
7:30 – Paul Stanley of KISS is on the show, they’ve known each other for years. Gene Simmons once told Danny that Paul doesn’t speak before shows to save his voice, but that’s not true. It’s just tough to get a word in with Gene because he doesn’t stop talking. Danny’s fiancée also used to teach Paul’s son in California. Paul’s not just a huge rock star, he’s also an artist. He paints and he’s quite good. He does hundreds of art shows across the country and wanted an outlet that was more personal. He’ll be having an art show at the King of Prussia Mall on May 15th and 16th. KISS is also allowing fans chose the cities they play for their upcoming tour, vote here. So far Canada is kicking ass, which has to change. Danny would love to win KISS. He digs that KISS is there to have fun, party, and play rock n’ roll. When Danny wrestled at TNA Lockdown all the pyro threw him off and when someone asked him to describe the match he said it was like getting into a fight on a KISS stage. Why is Detroit ‘Rock City?’ When they were coming up it was the first city that accepted them and they were headlining shows there before anywhere else.
Wentworth Gallery at the Court of King of Prussia is pleased to present two art exhibitions by artist, rock icon and legendary KISS frontman Paul Stanley. Paul will make two special appearances at Wentworth Gallery in May.
Friday – May 15 - 7:00 PM – 9:00 PM
Saturday – May 16 - 5:00 PM – 8:00 PM
For details on the VIP Reception with Paul Stanley or to RSVP please call 610-337-8988 or 800-732-6140
7:49 – Danny wanted to bring up Ace Frehley with Paul, but that’s a bit of a sore subject. Danny once had an affair with a girl who wrote a tell-all book about Ace. When it dawned on Danny that she could be researching him for her next book he cut her off. She was fun though. He digs the Crue, but KISS is operating on a whole different level.
8:01 – Sherri calls to say that Danny’s a bit of a manwhore. Apparently her husband cheated on Sherri and the girl he cheated with slept with Danny. Her and her girlfriend. Danny can’t remember the incident. So indirectly Sherri slept with Ace Frehley. She’s still married to the guy? He wants to hang with Danny so they can both get in trouble.
8:11 – Entertainment News:
Movie fans expect boy wizard Harry Potter will magically rule box offices in the upcoming summer blockbuster season that will see familiar faces like Sandra Bullock and breakout roles for a pair of "Star Trek" stars. Thirty-nine percent of respondents in an online poll released on Thursday by AOL website Moviefone.com named "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" the summer movie they most want to see. Danny finally saw ‘Transformers’ the other night and turned it off half way through. Didn’t like it. He also auditioned to do the voices of Optimus Prime and Megatron. That would have been a boatload of cash.
Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley of KISS will appear on the cartoon series The Fairly OddParents airing on Nickelodeon. It's a three-part series, The Fairly OddParents: Wishology, beginning tonight. Danny likes ‘Fairly OddParents.’ He’s lived through the series twice with both of his kids.
Green Day has announced bonus tracks that will accompany the digital version of 21st Century Breakdown due out May 15, 2009 via iTunes. The band will include covers of The Who's "A Quick One While He's Away," Social Distortion's "Another State of Mind," Elvis' "That's Alright Mama" and Bob Dylan's "Like a Rolling Stone."
Kirstie Alley says despite gaining back all the weight she lost as a Jenny Craig spokeswoman that she is ready to work to put on a bikini again. The actress, in an interview on Thursday’s “Oprah Winfrey Show,” told the talk show host that she was sorry for the people that she let down that she was ready to get fit. Kirstie Alley lived down the street from Danny. He once won big on roulette, took the cash, and had a two-story tree house built on his property.
Kelly McGillis - Tom Cruise's onscreen girlfriend in the 1980s hit Top Gun has announced she's a lesbian. McGillis said was single and looking for a female partner. Danny saw that a mile away. The hottest girl in ‘Top Gun’ is the girl from Berlin that sings ‘Take My Breath Away.’
Harley Days of May 2009
The Harley Days of May are here and we've got your chance to win a 2009 Harley Davidson Iron 883!
Every weekday in May, you'll have five chances to pick up a key that could start the Harley and a $94 Hooters gift card.
Starting Monday, listen to The Danny Bonaduce Show at 7AM for Danny to announce The Harley Days Of May Artist Of The Day or check back here.
When you hear any song from that artist, text the word, "Harley" to 99771.
The 94th texter wins a key and could be taking home the Harley!
8:47 – Metro needs man advice. His girlfriend Aimee’s best friend is pregnant, but the father is shirking the responsibilities so far and as the godfather, Metro’s been asked to confront the dude and send the message that he has responsibilities to meet. Danny says he has to do it. It’s uncommon for mothers to abandon their children; it’s fairly common for men to bail though. Steve calls to say that Metro has to punch the dude in the face. Metro doesn’t want a fight, that’s the LAST option. Shila thinks that if Metro never met the guy it’s extremely awkward. Danny advises that he approach the guy explaining that Metro’s getting pressure from the ladies, and he’s talking to him man to man.
8:52 – Chris calls to say he’s a godfather, but it’s Metro’s responsibility to be the male role model for the child if the father’s not going to be around. Metro’s reluctant that the guy isn’t going to take it well and it will end up with receiving a punch to the face. Danny hasn’t seen his kids in six months and wrote a letter to his ex-wife about taking full custody of the kids and letting her have them for summers and holidays, but Christmas day without the kids is heartbreaking.
9:05 – Jan, the owner of Rembrandt’s on 23rd is in the studio to talk about their participation in 94WYSP’s Dinner Deals. His restaurant has 400 seats, that’s huge. They have three bars! They have Saturday Morning Happy Hours. YES! Shila is extremely impressed by their pizza, so much so she’s talking with her mouth full. They also host comedy shows there. Dinner Deals start at 9:30 this morning, get a $50 gift certificate for only $25, right here on 94WYSP.com
9:32 – News with Shila: Chrysler LLC filed for bankruptcy on Thursday and announced an industry-changing deal with Fiat, after being pummeled by sliding auto sales and unable to reach agreement on restructuring its debt. Forget a new lease on life; Danny wants a good lease on a car.
A man who jumped from a gambling cruise ship on its way to Port Canaveral did the stunt over a $15 bet. James Raynor, 18, was arrested minutes after he got out of the water Wednesday. Brevard County deputies say Raynor's friends bet him $15 that he would not jump from the Sun Cruz Casino ship. He must have been having a bad night playing cards in order to jump off a boat for $15.
Organizers of the 44th annual Mangum Rattlesnake Derby in Oklahoma said the event was aimed at educating people about the venomous snakes. The organizers said the three-day derby, which ended Sunday, annually draws an estimated 35,000 visitors to Magnum to catch, kill and learn about Western diamondback rattlesnakes. Snake is good eating! Danny’s enjoyed some serpent, just pull the spine out and it’s a tube of tasty meat. Shila wants to go to the Rattle Snake Round Up in Noxen. Neither of the guys have an interest in going, but the show gets flooded with men offering to accompany her.
9:54 – Spike is in the studio, he doesn’t have any new ink, but he does have well moisturized skin. Amy wants to get Danny’s name tattooed on her somewhere, but Danny suggests they get inked up with images of their skull rings. Danny prefers to be slightly intoxicated while getting tattooed.
Danny Bonaduce Show 05/01/09
6:01 – Danny was impressed with Shila at yesterday’s Call for the Cure on CBS3. She and Danny were on to raise money for breast cancer research. Right before they were going to go live on television Danny was having a minor meltdown while Shila was calm cool and collected. Danny was prepared for Shila to have a Kramer moment, but the tables were turned on live TV. The telethon auctioned off dinner with Danny to raise funds, and while having a discussion with a director about the plan, Danny joked with him and got ‘this isn’t Hollywood’ shot back at him. Danny also mentioned to the guy that his dinner would be sold before the segment was over; it was sold five times in that span. That means lots of food for Danny and lots of money for cancer research.
6:11 – Danny thought it was Thursday this morning because he’s been so busy and had so many houseguests that he just wasn’t sure if it was late night or early morning. A few years ago he woke up at 6:10 once, thought he was late for his morning show and called the station demanding to go on the air. That’s when Ryan Seacrest’s voice he realized that it was 6:10 in the evening, and not 6:10 the next morning.
6:39 – SPORTS: Magic eliminated the Sixers without Dwight Howard, who is not such a good speller on Twitter. Congenital amputee Kyle Maynard lost his first mixed martial arts fight to Bryan Fry on a 30-27 judges' decision Saturday night. Danny had a few matches is contact karate tournaments against a guy who had cerebral palsy who beat him a few times.
6:53 – Shila and her friend were talking about Danny last night when her friend abruptly asked how man women Danny’s been with and got into a discussion about his sex life. She wanted names! The list includes Joan Jett, Jodie Sweetin, and….more? Danny Shila’s friend wants to meet Danny and talk to him about his sexual exploits. Danny is certain this is an invitation to bone. Shila wants Danny to name names. The first girl Danny kissed was Jodie Foster; if they fought over Joan Jett then Jodie might win.
7:05 – News with Shila: Driving while on a hand-held cell phone is officially illegal in Philadelphia. Mayor Nutter, Thursday, signed a law banning the devices for drivers, bicylcists, skateboarders, even people on scooters. Enforcement won't begin until November. Police say they need a few months to gear up, then a three month period where they'll just be issuing warnings.
U.S. authorities are pledging to eventually produce enough swine flu vaccine for everyone but the shots couldn't begin until fall at the earliest. Worries about the spread of the virus mounted Thursday as the nation's swine flu caseload passed 100, and nearly 300 schools closed in communities across the country. Federal officials had to spend much of the day reassuring the public it's still safe to fly and ride public transportation after Vice President Joe Biden said he wouldn't recommend it to his family. How is this any different from the normal flu?
A man in Seattle, Washington, was arrested Wednesday and charged with conspiracy to commit murder in the second degree. Shawn Tyler Skelton, 24, was busted after allegedly posting an ad on popular Web site Craigslist seeking someone to have sex with and then kill. Shila likes rough sex, but she doesn’t want to be choked or have any bruises. She likes being thrown up against the wall, but she’s frail.
An 8-year-old Saudi girl has divorced her middle-aged husband after her father forced her to marry him last year in exchange for about $13,000, her lawyer said Thursday. Saudi Arabia has come under increasing criticism at home and abroad for permitting child marriages.
7:19 – Chiffon calls in to say that her favorite rough sex scene in ‘Unfaithful.’ Shila gets excited about it, ‘that’s soooo hot!’ Danny wanted to scar up Olivier Martinez on the spot while watching that movie. Pat calls to say that the sex on the stairs scene in ‘A History of Violence’ is one he likes, Shila loves that scene. That’s the kind of sex she wants, but she has to be willing to have sex to do that though. Pregnancy and disease freak her out, so she’ll inflate condoms before using them to make sure that they’re not ripped.
7:30 – Paul Stanley of KISS is on the show, they’ve known each other for years. Gene Simmons once told Danny that Paul doesn’t speak before shows to save his voice, but that’s not true. It’s just tough to get a word in with Gene because he doesn’t stop talking. Danny’s fiancée also used to teach Paul’s son in California. Paul’s not just a huge rock star, he’s also an artist. He paints and he’s quite good. He does hundreds of art shows across the country and wanted an outlet that was more personal. He’ll be having an art show at the King of Prussia Mall on May 15th and 16th. KISS is also allowing fans chose the cities they play for their upcoming tour, vote here. So far Canada is kicking ass, which has to change. Danny would love to win KISS. He digs that KISS is there to have fun, party, and play rock n’ roll. When Danny wrestled at TNA Lockdown all the pyro threw him off and when someone asked him to describe the match he said it was like getting into a fight on a KISS stage. Why is Detroit ‘Rock City?’ When they were coming up it was the first city that accepted them and they were headlining shows there before anywhere else.
Wentworth Gallery at the Court of King of Prussia is pleased to present two art exhibitions by artist, rock icon and legendary KISS frontman Paul Stanley. Paul will make two special appearances at Wentworth Gallery in May.
Friday – May 15 - 7:00 PM – 9:00 PM
Saturday – May 16 - 5:00 PM – 8:00 PM
For details on the VIP Reception with Paul Stanley or to RSVP please call 610-337-8988 or 800-732-6140
7:49 – Danny wanted to bring up Ace Frehley with Paul, but that’s a bit of a sore subject. Danny once had an affair with a girl who wrote a tell-all book about Ace. When it dawned on Danny that she could be researching him for her next book he cut her off. She was fun though. He digs the Crue, but KISS is operating on a whole different level.
8:01 – Sherri calls to say that Danny’s a bit of a manwhore. Apparently her husband cheated on Sherri and the girl he cheated with slept with Danny. Her and her girlfriend. Danny can’t remember the incident. So indirectly Sherri slept with Ace Frehley. She’s still married to the guy? He wants to hang with Danny so they can both get in trouble.
8:11 – Entertainment News:
Movie fans expect boy wizard Harry Potter will magically rule box offices in the upcoming summer blockbuster season that will see familiar faces like Sandra Bullock and breakout roles for a pair of "Star Trek" stars. Thirty-nine percent of respondents in an online poll released on Thursday by AOL website Moviefone.com named "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" the summer movie they most want to see. Danny finally saw ‘Transformers’ the other night and turned it off half way through. Didn’t like it. He also auditioned to do the voices of Optimus Prime and Megatron. That would have been a boatload of cash.
Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley of KISS will appear on the cartoon series The Fairly OddParents airing on Nickelodeon. It's a three-part series, The Fairly OddParents: Wishology, beginning tonight. Danny likes ‘Fairly OddParents.’ He’s lived through the series twice with both of his kids.
Green Day has announced bonus tracks that will accompany the digital version of 21st Century Breakdown due out May 15, 2009 via iTunes. The band will include covers of The Who's "A Quick One While He's Away," Social Distortion's "Another State of Mind," Elvis' "That's Alright Mama" and Bob Dylan's "Like a Rolling Stone."
Kirstie Alley says despite gaining back all the weight she lost as a Jenny Craig spokeswoman that she is ready to work to put on a bikini again. The actress, in an interview on Thursday’s “Oprah Winfrey Show,” told the talk show host that she was sorry for the people that she let down that she was ready to get fit. Kirstie Alley lived down the street from Danny. He once won big on roulette, took the cash, and had a two-story tree house built on his property.
Kelly McGillis - Tom Cruise's onscreen girlfriend in the 1980s hit Top Gun has announced she's a lesbian. McGillis said was single and looking for a female partner. Danny saw that a mile away. The hottest girl in ‘Top Gun’ is the girl from Berlin that sings ‘Take My Breath Away.’
Harley Days of May 2009
The Harley Days of May are here and we've got your chance to win a 2009 Harley Davidson Iron 883!
Every weekday in May, you'll have five chances to pick up a key that could start the Harley and a $94 Hooters gift card.
Starting Monday, listen to The Danny Bonaduce Show at 7AM for Danny to announce The Harley Days Of May Artist Of The Day or check back here.
When you hear any song from that artist, text the word, "Harley" to 99771.
The 94th texter wins a key and could be taking home the Harley!
8:47 – Metro needs man advice. His girlfriend Aimee’s best friend is pregnant, but the father is shirking the responsibilities so far and as the godfather, Metro’s been asked to confront the dude and send the message that he has responsibilities to meet. Danny says he has to do it. It’s uncommon for mothers to abandon their children; it’s fairly common for men to bail though. Steve calls to say that Metro has to punch the dude in the face. Metro doesn’t want a fight, that’s the LAST option. Shila thinks that if Metro never met the guy it’s extremely awkward. Danny advises that he approach the guy explaining that Metro’s getting pressure from the ladies, and he’s talking to him man to man.
8:52 – Chris calls to say he’s a godfather, but it’s Metro’s responsibility to be the male role model for the child if the father’s not going to be around. Metro’s reluctant that the guy isn’t going to take it well and it will end up with receiving a punch to the face. Danny hasn’t seen his kids in six months and wrote a letter to his ex-wife about taking full custody of the kids and letting her have them for summers and holidays, but Christmas day without the kids is heartbreaking.
9:05 – Jan, the owner of Rembrandt’s on 23rd is in the studio to talk about their participation in 94WYSP’s Dinner Deals. His restaurant has 400 seats, that’s huge. They have three bars! They have Saturday Morning Happy Hours. YES! Shila is extremely impressed by their pizza, so much so she’s talking with her mouth full. They also host comedy shows there. Dinner Deals start at 9:30 this morning, get a $50 gift certificate for only $25, right here on 94WYSP.com
9:32 – News with Shila: Chrysler LLC filed for bankruptcy on Thursday and announced an industry-changing deal with Fiat, after being pummeled by sliding auto sales and unable to reach agreement on restructuring its debt. Forget a new lease on life; Danny wants a good lease on a car.
A man who jumped from a gambling cruise ship on its way to Port Canaveral did the stunt over a $15 bet. James Raynor, 18, was arrested minutes after he got out of the water Wednesday. Brevard County deputies say Raynor's friends bet him $15 that he would not jump from the Sun Cruz Casino ship. He must have been having a bad night playing cards in order to jump off a boat for $15.
Organizers of the 44th annual Mangum Rattlesnake Derby in Oklahoma said the event was aimed at educating people about the venomous snakes. The organizers said the three-day derby, which ended Sunday, annually draws an estimated 35,000 visitors to Magnum to catch, kill and learn about Western diamondback rattlesnakes. Snake is good eating! Danny’s enjoyed some serpent, just pull the spine out and it’s a tube of tasty meat. Shila wants to go to the Rattle Snake Round Up in Noxen. Neither of the guys have an interest in going, but the show gets flooded with men offering to accompany her.
9:54 – Spike is in the studio, he doesn’t have any new ink, but he does have well moisturized skin. Amy wants to get Danny’s name tattooed on her somewhere, but Danny suggests they get inked up with images of their skull rings. Danny prefers to be slightly intoxicated while getting tattooed.
6:35 – SPORTS: Phillies pitcher Brett Myers 
7:33 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
Will Farrell is 
6:37 – SPORTS: Phillies Brett Myers felt a sharp pinching sensation in the back of his right hip that forced him from the game in the sixth inning of a 
7:32 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
8:31 – Who Would Win In A Fight: Mike Tyson or a Tiger?
9:05 – Lisa Rinna is on the show. Danny is blown away at how chiseled Lisa’s body is. Lisa only works out about an hour a day. She works out six days a week, but changes her routine daily to keep her body confused. She relaxed her routine for Playboy so her curves were a little softer, they didn’t want her looking cut up. Lisa was proud to show off her hard work at the age of 45 after two kids. Danny keeps a photo of Lisa in his gym as inspiration because she’s in such great shape. She’s wrote a book about her fitness regimen, Rinnavation: Getting Your Best Life Ever. Could Danny follow the book and get shredded? Yes! He’s worried she’ll make fun of him for doing Dance Dance Revolution to get in shape. Not at all she has dance DVD’s that he could use too! 
6:30 – SPORTS: Joe Blanton had a 
7:32 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
7:50 – Tori Spelling and Deam McDermott from 
7:36 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
6:39 – Danny was married to a waif, now he’s engaged to a normal sized girl. Is it fair to divorce someone if they pack on the pounds after marriage? Let’s say a girl that was 120 pounds blows up to 220 after two years. When do you give her talks and get them to bring it down? Is cheating permitted? Danny never needs an excuse to cheat. Ronnie, a woman, calls to say that everyone puts on weight, but if they chunk up after warnings then go ahead and cheat. Shila and Metro disagree with Danny’s point of view, the vows of marriage are for life. However it is a license for divorce. Shila thinks that leaving someone as the approach morbid obesity could push them over the edge and kill them. 
7:51 – 
8:37 – Who Would Win In A Fight: Terminator or RoboCop?
6:37 – SPORTS: Cole Hamels contributed a key hit and 
7:27 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
7:53 – Name That Out of Tune!
6:37 – SPORTS: Philadelphia Eagles defensive coordinator Jim Johnson has been excused from workouts for rookies and selected veterans this week because of a 
9:07 – Over the weekend Shila was at a fancy engagement party. There was valet parking for the house, sitar player providing music, very over the top. Shila got a plate at the buffet and had one of her infamous Kramer moments and broke her fork, shattered the plate which created an awkward moment. An apologetic Shila cleaned it up while asking for forgiveness the entire time. Shila was ‘that girl’ for the rest of the party. Her mother scolded her and everyone else came up with comments that it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. The fork wasn’t plastic, it was metal with a bamboo handle. The last fancy party Danny went to was an award show where he broke Johnny Fairplay’s face. He didn’t feel ashamed, he was applauded. 
6:28 – SPORTS: Yet the Phils went down, 
7:31 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
8:24 – 
6:02 – Danny wants Shila and Metro to do interesting things on work nights. They have pretty tame lives compared to Danny, who watched his fiancée put furniture together. Danny did Abs of Steel for seniors this morning. Danny rode his new bike to work today and realized that something might not be right with it when it was making clicking noises. He also got into a fight with Amy over an avatar, the Mii’s on Wii. Amy made video game versions of Shila, Metro and other people at the station so Danny can fight them in the boxing game. Danny didn’t like it when a Wii character apparently started flirting with Amy it seemed and thought that she made the character based on an ex-boyfriend. It was her father. Who fights with video games? Danny! Shila is excited that she’s going to have dinner nights with her neighbors. Who’s on the cutting edge, the guy that does senior citizen ab workouts or the girl who lives like a senior citizen?
8:40 – Who Would Win In A Fight: Captain James T. Kirk or Captain Jack Sparrow? Captain of the Enterprise versus Captain of the Black Pearl. Metro takes Kirk because Sparrow’s a drunk and Kirk has fought aliens on other planets. Danny counters with Sparrow’s swordsmanship. Shila takes Sparrow because Kirk gets his ass kicked in a bar fight in the new Star Trek, Sparrow is cunning and plays his enemies for fools, he came back from the dead, and Keith Richards is his father, he comes from incredible genetics. Danny takes Kirk because he’s kicked much Klingon ass.
9:06 – Tommy Lee from Motley Crue is on the show. The Crue will be on ‘
8:48 – Harry Hairston from 
7:32 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach
8:34 – Danny introduces adult film actress Jacky Joy. She was doing a photo shoot at Mad River yesterday and spent some time with Danny and Amy. Danny was playing Dance Dance Revolution when Jacky said she was good at the game too. Danny invited her to play strip Dance Dance Revolution. Danny ended up nude while Jacky didn’t take off a stitch. A soon as he lost he went to bed, with no clothes. She did try on his bedazzled jeans though. They fit. 
9:09 – Danny brings Gibbons in the studio, it’s his one year anniversary at the station. Danny loves Gibbons because he never says ‘no.’ Happy anniversary buddy!
6:35 – SPORTS: Chan Ho Park allowed only one hit and no runs in six innings last night. But the Phillies 
7:32 – Who Would Win In A Fight: Sharon Osbourne or Rosanne Barr? 
